Kainora - Redeeming Love AU
by outlawedairnomad
Summary: Destiny deals a shocking hand when it brings together the most unlikely of couples. Jinora is a well behaved, spiritual college girl from a remote farm outside Republic City and Kai is a hardened criminal on the run from his dark past. Jinora takes the greatest risk of her life and marries the outlaw to buy his freedom and show him the world through her eyes. (Full summary inside.)
1. Prologue

_Destiny deals a shocking hand when it brings together the most unlikely of couples. Jinora is a well behaved, spiritual college girl from a remote farm outside Republic City and Kai is a hardened criminal on the run from his dark past. Jinora takes the greatest risk of her life and marries the outlaw to buy his freedom and show him the world through her eyes. His frozen heart begins to thaw which leads to the pain of old wounds being reopened. Kai must fight his demons and put them to rest if he is ever going to be happy with Jinora. _

_Based on the Romance novel that is a modern retelling of the book of Hosea._

* * *

_"Some things are so unexpected that no one is prepared for them." _

_\- Leo Rosten_

* * *

"Hey no fair! You got a head start!"

"You snooze you loose!"

"Guys, wait up!"

The earth shook as the hooves of three large bison came thundering down the dirt road. On their backs rode a young girl with pigtail buns and two boys on their own bison. Their laughter flowed through the air and the trees and they raced alongside a white fence. The autumn air rushing around them and filling them their breathes with life. The leaves that had fallen, swirled upward as they were kicked by the trampling feet of the hairy, six-legged beasts. Just beyond the trees was a pasture and hills that seemed to roll on forever. The sun had almost completely vanished behind them with the last rays of light being what guided the kids on their path.

"Come on you slow pokes!" Meelo called back, "last one there hastuh' do the dishes tonight!"

"But it's your turn!" Ikki fumed as she urged her bison forward, "come on Blueberry, just a little faster, yip yip."

Ten year old Rohan held tightly to his bison's saddle. He hadn't been riding for very long and this was his first time racing. He had fallen a fair distance behind as his older siblings charged ahead recklessly. Finally they came to the stable and slowed their mounts to a stop. Leaping down from his bison's back, Meelo stood confidently with a fist on his hip.

"Looks like _I _won," he smirked and cocked a brow at his sister. Ikki swung herself off the side of Blueberry's saddle with a look of annoyance as she took a few steps toward her triumphant brother.

"By like, only _two_ seconds!" she frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

"How do I slow down again?!" Rohan shouted but his cries were ignored.

"That's all I need," Meelo shrugged, earning a frustrated growl from his seventeen year old sister. The two teenagers turned sharply as they heard a loud crash and noticed Rohan's bison, Bucky, trotting off without a rider. The youngest brother pushed himself out of the nearby stack of hay, plucking straws from his hair.

"Thanks guys, you're a big help," he snorted.

"Guess you're the one stuck with the dishes Bro," Meelo walked past him, briefly messing up the hair atop the smaller boy's head. After putting the bison in their stalls for the night and hanging up their tack, the trio started toward the house. It was a somewhat large wooden farmhouse with a porch that wrapped around from the front to the side of the building. Running inside, they came directly to the kitchen where their mother was preparing dinner.

"Hey mom," Meelo greeted before running upstairs.

"We're home," Ikki added before going to the living room.

"What'cha doin'? Rohan asked as he stopped at her side.

"I'm making sweet rice balls, Jinora's favorite," Pema smiled warmly down at her son.

"She's coming back from college today right?" he grinned as he slowly began to reach for a rice ball only to have his hand briefly swatted away by his mother's fingers.

"That's right, now can you help set the table? We're going to have a big dinner tonight," she beamed.

"Sure!" Rohan nodded. No sooner had the word left his mouth that the sound of the front door opening then clattering shut could be heard and his father Tenzin walked in, "Hey Dad!"

"Rohan," Tenzin smiled calmly in greeting as his son rushed up to hug him. The boy let go and went to work taking the dishes and setting them on the table.

"Hello Dear," the bald headed man moved beside his wife and kissed her cheek.

"Long day?" she raised a brow at him, catching the exhaustion in his voice.

"You could say that," he set himself down in a chair with a sigh, "Oogi was spooked by a weasel-snake and uprooted some of the rice crops, then I found out that last night's storm knocked a tree down on the well so I'll have to get that fixed."

"Maybe Jinora can help you when she gets here," Pema said without looking at him as she continued her work and chopped some carrots before sliding them into a pot filled with boiling broth. She then moved to set the finished rice balls on the other side of the sink to put them out of the way.

"She's coming back from the city and mountains of schoolwork, I'd like to give her a few days to rest before she takes on any hard labor," Tenzin turned his head to look out the window that directed down the road. It would be any minute now that a cab would come up the with their firstborn in the backseat.

"Of course," Pema turned and saw the distant stare on his face as he looked out the window. Drying her hands with the towel hanging from the oven handlebar, she then moved behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders, "you seem anxious."

"I'm just wondering how the city has changed her," Tenzin lowered his gaze, "she's been gone for so long."

"I'm sure you'll be able to recognize her, Sweetie," Pema assured with a pat on the shoulder then looked up, her face lightened by a smile, "speaking of the college girl..."

Tenzin's head instantly snapped upward as a yellow, checkered satomobile pulled in from the dirt road and into the glow of the porch light. A smile sprung to his face and Pema called the children. Excitedly Ikki, Meelo and Rohan rushed outside to meet their sister. The whole family went out of the house and saw Jinora shutting the door of the cab, dropping her suitcase and running to them.

They welcomed her with warm embraces and Pema showered Jinora in kisses. They had all missed her, even if her siblings were too prideful to admit it. The happy reunion was interrupted when Tenzin looked back at the cab and saw the back door on the side opposite of Jinora open. Out of it stepped a young man who couldn't have been more than a year older than his daughter. Something about this man had Tenzin on edge. It wasn't the undercut, the casual way he stood, or even the blue stripped tattoos running from the center of the top of his hands, over his forearms to under his elbows. It was the firmness in his expression, and the lack of light in his eyes that chilled him. He was hard, like a living statue. Pema was the first to speak.

"Jinora, who is this?"

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Kai," she turned to them sheepishly as the cab pulled away but Kai hung back remaining where he stood, leaning on one foot with a hand in his pocket, "I know I should have told you this in my letters, but he's... he's my husband."

The whole family's world came to a screeching halt and all was silent. Even the birds didn't dare to sing. _Husband_? Not just friend? Not even boyfriend or _fiance_? They were officially _married_? They all stared at Jinora, the kids with their eyes rounded, mouths hanging agape in sheer disbelief. Perhaps her parents would have been mad if they weren't stunned into utter stasis.

Jinora awkwardly avoided eye contact. She knew she had a lot of explaining to do.

"It's a long story..."


	2. Destiny

_"Fate only takes you so far. Once you're there it's up to you to make it happen."_

_\- Unknown Author_

* * *

_ Three Months Earlier..._

"Ya got five minutes to get your pants back on and get out," a heavy voice shouted from the other side of a wooden door, "or I'll break this door down and drag you outta there!"

"Alright, alright, I'm going, don't get your beard in a knot!" the eighteen year old girl called back. Lifting her head from the pillow she kissed the cheek of the young man beside her before whispering alluringly into his ear. "Why don't you come with me? We can go get some coffee or something?"

"Sorry miss," Kai grinned at her as he leaned upward, "your time is up. I hope you had an awesome birthday." Her smile fell and her eyes grew hard.

"You shouldn't get a lot of work in the middle of the day, I think you'd have a little time."

"Time is money and you already got your money's worth," he answered while leaning back again, "unless you're willing to pay more then you get all the time you want."

"I spent the last of my birthday cash on this, I think it should get me more than one half hour in bed."

"Oh you got a little bit more than that," his expression and tone fell flat.

"You just told me you wanted me-! The things you said- what you did... you were so passionate-"

"Exactly what you paid for," he shrugged, "I hope you found it worth the price."

The girl visibly bristled. Hurriedly she grabbed her clothes and slid them on. Staying in the bed, Kai watched her with indifference. He had seen it before. A girl came in knowing what she was going to get, ended up wanting more and wasn't able to pay. She was one of the many who was brought by friends for a few minutes of pleasure that was almost surreal. It was usually for a special occasion or to get over a breakup. If they really wanted a new boyfriend they'd have to look elsewhere.

Once she had picked up her last article of clothing he showed her the door. The young lady fumed as she stormed past him before stopping and turning sharply to swat him across the face. He simply took it without complaint. He had been trained for this sort of emotional response. It was all that kept him suppressing his own anger and keep himself from lashing back. She pushed past him appearing as though she wanted to break something in half. Getting his own clothes on, Kai made his way down the stairs to the empty dance floor. There were a few other men and women hanging around the bar.

"We saw that one," one of the girls laughed, her name was Yuna. Her hair was dark and pulled back into a ponytail. There was a diamond stud on the side of her nose and a tattoo of a tigerdillo on her upper arm, "looks like you got another first timer eh?"

"Yeah, why am I always the one stuck with them?" he asked giving a pointed look to the man standing on the other side of the booth.

"That's just 'cause you're the better actor," the curly haired twenty three year old named Mengyao laughed.

"It's also 'cause he's got special training and he's a lot better looking ," Yuna's twin sister Hina shot at him causing the other girls to snicker.

"That's not what you were saying to me last night," he fired back as he lifted a cocktail to his lips. Reaching over she placed her hand at the bottom of the glass and pushed it up causing the drink to spill over Mengyao's face. Everyone at the bar burst into laughter as he sputtered and threw her a cold glare which she returned with a smug tilt of her head.

"Theorize all you want," Kai chuckled, "I'm gonna go run some errands."

"Okay, just be sure you get back before the midnight rush, or we'll get complaints," Yuna told him when he moved away from the booth.

"Can do," he called back as he headed out the door. As soon as he was outside he felt a sort of pressure lifted off of him.

Kai hated the club. He hated how all the money for his work went right to Hina and she only gave him enough of it to pay for a snack at a gas station. She owned the club with Yuna and it was only by a deal with her that he was allowed to stay in the upstairs room instead of out on the streets. By now he must have made enough to get his own place and live off it for a while. No one to bother him and never having to get in a bed with anyone ever again. The only reason Hina kept the money to herself was so he wouldn't be able to leave, but she couldn't keep it from him forever.

_ When I go back I'm gonna demand my money from her. I'm sick of this place. I'm sick of the people. I gotta get outta here..._

* * *

Jinora Changpa stepped out of a small cafe and into the the light of the afternoon sun. Satomobiles crowded the streets and people pushed past one another in their missions to arrive unhindered to their final destinations.

"Hold on little lady, you forgot your fruit tart," a man dressed in an apron and a cap came out after her holding a small to-go bag.

"Thank you Sir," she smiled modestly at him as he gave handed her the bag and tipped his hat to her. Continuing on her route she held her head high as though not surrounded by the honking of horns or the drilling of a nearby jackhammer on a construction site. Her steps were light and confident. The park was just within view so she quickened her pace as she made her way there. She strolled along a path in the park for a while, going by some families that were having picnics and playing games before spotting the people she came to meet.

"Hey Jinora!" her friend Korra called from a wooden table under a tree. The tan skinned, blue-eyed young woman was accompanied by the beautiful, dark-haired Asami, Mako, Bolin and Opal.

"Hey!" Jinora smiled as she stood next to the table, waiting as Korra scooted over to make room, "did you guys really wait for me to get here?"

"Yes!" Bolin exclaimed dramatically, "we've been waiting_ forever_! I'm starving!"

"He's exaggerating, we've only been here for fifteen minutes," Asami had a laugh in her smile.

"Hunger knows no time," the twenty six year old sat back with his arms crossed over his chest with a small pout.

"Well lucky thing, I brought something to make it up to you," Jinora handed him the paper bag and watched him open it to look inside.

"All is forgiven! Thanks!" his face lit up as he excitedly took the fruit tart in his hand.

"You people spoil him," Mako playfully grunted.

"Jealous?" Bolin smirked before getting an elbow to his shoulder.

"So do you know how things are going with your family?" Opal asked as she took a sip of the soda in her hand.

"They called just last night. Bucky is finally big enough for Rohan to ride," the brown haired girl replied, "and Ikki has a crush on some boy who lives on the property not far from ours."

"Ooooohhhhh, romance is in the air," Korra teased, "so Ikki already has her eyes on somebody, but here you are twenty years old and you've never even been on a _date_?"

"Korra!" Asami reprimanded.

"It's okay Asami," Jinora assured, "I already told you, I'm just not interested in anybody at the moment. I'm looking for the right guy."

"How can you know if he's the right guy if you never date him?" Opal pointed out.

"Yeah," Bolin threw in with a laugh, "Opal and I have been dating for years and she's _still _trying to figure out if I'm the one."

"I have a pretty good idea," she offered him a flirtatious smirk.

"Hey," Mako started sternly, "remember our agreement, no flirting when we're all hanging out together, _especially _in public."

"Oh come on Mako," Asami grinned at him from across the table, "it's fun. Just because you can't do it with us anymore doesn't mean you have to put a damper on their romance."

"He really is jealous isn't he," Korra poked.

"Yuk it up," Mako smiled wryly, "but there's a reason both of you dated me."

"And to this day it remains a mystery," she teased.

"I'm not saying I won't date a guy," Jinora offered to get them back on topic, not that she was one for being the center of attention but she liked being correct, "I'm just saying I think when I meet the right guy, somehow I'll just know."

"It's not like she hasn't had countless opportunities," the Future Industries CEO pointed out.

"Yeah... remember Skoochy, oh that kid really got on my nerves," Korra's brows knitted together as the corners of her mouth curved downward in distaste.

"Bo and I knew him when we were living on the streets," the eldest of them huffed, "he's the definition of pest."

"I don't want to talk about it," Jinora frowned at them. It wasn't so much the talk of Skoochy but just the negativity of it that bothered her, "anyway, enough about me. You said you've been waiting for a while so let's eat."

Her friends agreed and the six of them started their meal. At one point a small food fight broke out between Korra and Bolin but soon wore itself out. After they were done eating, the group hung out and talked a while longer. Jinora didn't do much speaking and spent most of the time listening quietly as her friends talked about sports teams, career troubles and even a little gossip. After an hour and a half Mako was the first to leave. He had the night shift so he had to get to work. Opal and Bolin soon departed as well.

"I think I should be going too," Jinora slid the strap of her book bag over her shoulder.

"You need a ride?" Asami asked, "it's going to get dark soon and you shouldn't be going through the city streets at night."

"I still have a while before the sun goes down, I can walk, but thank you for offering," she gave a nod of appreciation to Asami's concern.

"Next time your folks call tell them I said hi okay," Korra grinned and gave Jinora a hug.

"No problem, see ya later," Jinora waved as they parted ways. Going down the street she had come from, she passed the cafe and a few other places that were putting out their signs to tell everyone they were closed. Minutes passed as she still had a long way to go before she was back on campus. Perhaps she should have learned the bus schedule, but she preferred walking. It gave her a chance to take in her surroundings. Stepping out onto a corner, she waited for the light to turn green before hurriedly making her way across. After coming down a few blocks she made a turn.

Before she could even realize what was happening, she felt as though she were hit by a train. Stumbling and falling, she collapsed to the pavement alongside another body. With a groan she turned her head to see what or rather who had hit her. The stranger lifted his head and the first thing she saw was a pair of dark green eyes and her breath caught in her throat. The eyes belonged to a man who appeared to be in his late teens or early twenties with dark brown hair and tanned skin.

In the next instant the person was on his feet and running. Jinora pushed herself off the pavement and watched as another man in a police uniform was chasing after him and speaking into the radio on his shoulder.

"Just passed the corner of 48th Street and Avatar Avenue, the suspect is believed to be unarmed but take no chances!"

**That one,** a faint voice echoed in her head. Unsure of what that meant, she quickly dismissed it. Even after the officer and the criminal disappeared around another corner Jinora stood still. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath, a little unbalanced by the fact that she had been so close to someone who was on the run from the law. Who knew what he was capable of. Shifting the bag on her shoulder she continued walking until she came to the campus. Despite her best efforts, Jinora couldn't get the picture of those eyes out of her mind.

_Well this was an eventful day, _she thought to herself, _lunch with my friends then nearly getting flattened by a crook on the run... there was something about him..._

When Jinora came to her dorm room she showered and changed into her orange and rust red button up pajamas. As she laid in her bed, she took the picture of her family that rested on the nightstand in her hands. Smoothing her fingers over the frame she smiled gently to herself.

_I'll see you guys soon. _Placing the picture back on the nightstand she turned the lamp light off and curled up, quickly drifting off to sleep.

The following days came and went as they usually did. Jinora took her classes and met with friends. She offered help when she could and meditated while alone in her dorm. No matter what she was doing to keep herself occupied, her mind would drift back to the man that collided with her on the street. What might he have been running for? What was his name? His outward appearance didn't seem too criminal. Perhaps a bit scruffy, but undoubtedly handsome. As she turned in her essay to her philosophy professor Jinora tried to shake the questions from her head. There was no point in lingering on them. There was little chance she'd ever get the answers so it was better to keep her mind at peace and focus on her studies. Walking down the hall and out the front doors of the building she knew she had the rest of the day free. With little planned Jinora simply decided to take a walk through town.

Her mind was filled with thoughts of her family and home, the farm and the things going on in her friends' lives. Perhaps she should have gone back to her dorm room to read or see if there was anyone in need of aid. It was definitely one of those days that she couldn't focus. By the time she reached the docks it was getting dark out. If she didn't turn around right then it would be close to midnight by the time she got back and there were shifty folks that came out in the city after dark. With a look out over the bay, she turned and started her way back. The street lights came on and traffic was growing more busy as employees were returning home or starting their night shift. Some were perhaps on their way to formal events or parties.

_I wonder if these people ever slow down and just look at the world around them, _Jinora absently pondered.

The sound of a distant siren echoed through the warm, summer night air. More horns were honking and as she passed a night club she could hear the booming music from across the street. The city was not Jinora's favorite place. There was too much noise. How could anyone think straight? She wouldn't complain though. It was easy to get around, easy to buy anything she desired, easy to get lost in the excitement it offered. Somehow she managed to come through a neighborhood that was relatively quiet. She could at least hear the sound of her own footsteps though she remained alert. There weren't many people out and if there was trouble she could very well be on her own. She could hear something faint coming from up ahead. There were voices and they sounded far from friendly.

Curiosity pulled at her like a rope, bringing her closer despite the alarm bells going off in her head telling her to run. As she drew nearer, she could hear that they were the voices of two grown men and her heart skipped. Taking a breath, Jinora expelled her fear, softening the beats of the heart slapping against her ribs. This was foolish of her and she knew it. Reaching into her bag she slowly took out her cellphone that she only used for emergencies and other important calls.

Kneeling and peeking ever so carefully around the corner of the brick apartment building, she saw a man wearing a slim, dark jacket. The man reminded her of a weasel-snake. She cupped a hand over her mouth to stifle a sharp gasp as she spied the gun in his hand and an arrow of dread shot right through her chest. He was holding the gun up to another man who was wearing a green jacket over a white tee shirt and brown denim jeans. Their faces were concealed by the shadows and she couldn't make them out. Dialing quickly she phoned the police. So focused was she on her task, that she failed to notice the gunman turned his head toward what sounded like tapping.

"Hey!"

Her head jerked upward and she dropped her phone as she realized she was staring down the barrel of the pistol. Just over it was a tall man with sunken in cheeks and long, thin sideburns. He appeared to be around his early to mid thirties. Jinora's throat constricted and she found herself unable to breathe.

"Get up," he commanded and she obeyed, feeling her blood rush through every inch of her, filling it with terror driven adrenaline. Looking back toward the shadows, the man kept his gun aimed at her.

"Friend of yours?"

"Never seen her before," the other voice was dense but much younger. Never taking her eyes off him, Jinora felt her mouth go dry as the man returned his attention to her.

"Then I guess she's of no real use to me," he placed his finger on the trigger and Jinora closed her eyes. Was this it? Was this the way it ended for her? Right there on the dark and empty street? In an instant, she heard the gun go off and ring in her ear, but she felt no pain. Opening her eyes she saw the man on the ground, struggling with the younger one. Only now did she see the younger man was familiar. It was the same boy whom she had encountered earlier.

"Go!" he shouted, "get outta here!"

Instead, Jinora scanned her surroundings in a panic for a tool she could use to help. The search seemed futile as nothing in view would make for a proper weapon, especially not against a gun.

"What're you waiting for?" he yelled as he tried to wrestle the pistol from his opponent, "I said go!"

Jinora could hear the police sirens coming but neither man seemed to notice them as they fought for control. She watched as the one in the black coat managed to throw the younger man off of himself and jumped to his feet to hold him down. Thinking quickly, she grabbed a heavy textbook from her pack and rushed to hit the man over the back of his head. He gave harsh grunt before turning his face toward her with fire blazing in his eyes. That certainly didn't do what she hoped it would. Backing away she watched him look back to the younger man beneath him.

"You owe me you little punk," he snarled, "and I ain't lettin' you be 'til I get my payment. Even if I haftuh' take it outtuh your hide." The younger man responded by spitting in the older one's eye.

"Take it outta your-" he was cut off when he was punched across the jaw. Desperately, Jinora tried to find something else she could do. There had to be _something_.

Kai opened his eyes to focus on the man pinning him down as pain shot through the lower half of his face. His hatred burned hot as he saw the sadistic half smile on Shin's face. He tried not to pay attention to the girl who was standing mere feet away. Why was she still there? Was she stupid? She should have run. Now he could hear the police sirens too. He watched as a look of realization dawned on Shin before he returned to his angered grimace.

"You got lucky kid," he smirked, "but not that lucky." Without another word the man pulled Kai up a little before throwing him back down so his head slammed into the concrete sidewalk. Leaping to his feet, Shady Shin shoved Jinora out of the way and took off running with his weapon. Staggering a few steps, Jinora barely caught herself before her back hit a wall. She watched to make sure the man was really leaving before running to the side of the one who had been fighting for his life.

Kai's head swam and was flooded with pain. His vision was blurred so as he looked up all he could see was the blurred outline of the girl beside him. He could hear her speaking to him but couldn't understand what she was saying. Everything sounded muffled and far away, as though he was underwater. He could see flashing lights and knew there was no point in fighting it. Closing his eyes, he let the images and the sounds slip away as he faded into total darkness.

* * *

The first thing Kai felt when he awoke was the hard metal under him as he laid on his back and the dull ache gnawing at the back of his head. His eyes blinked open and he found himself staring at a ceiling with peeling paint on the wall. The room was dim but he could still clearly make out his surroundings with the moonlight shining in from a window. With a soft groan he pushed himself up, rubbing the back of his stiff neck. Every aching bruise on him demanded to be felt. He stopped when he saw the metal bars caging him in what he realized was in a small cell. Jumping to his feet he grabbed the bars and gave them a hard shake. The door was so steadfast it didn't even rattle. He anxiously tried to look for something he could use to pick the lock but his pockets were empty. The cops must have cleared them out when they locked him in there. It wouldn't have done him much good anyway as he noticed that the doors were electronically locked.

"Take it easy," a old, tired voice came from the next cell over. He was speaking in low tones to keep from waking the other inmates, "that won't do you any good."

"It's better than doing nothing," Kai replied anxiously as he tried to look for another way out.

"It's no use, you're never getting out of here."

"I have to," he answered, "I don't belong in here. I gotta get out."

"Join the club, but they have the highest security here. It's better to not waste your energy... I should know, I designed it."

With a frustrated growl, Kai turned and set himself heavily on the metal bench he had just risen from. How did he even get here? He remembered the flashing lights, the strange girl... he recalled briefly regaining consciousness as he was riding in the police car but he had been so out of it that he thought it was just a dream. He couldn't remember much else except the sound of a heavy door closing and an electronic click.

"What's your name kid?"

"Kai," he said no more.

"They call me the Professor."

"Nice nickname," Kai leaned back against the wall with his lack of interest evident in his voice.

"I'm guessing you don't care to know how I got it huh?"

"You are a good guesser."

"So what are you in for?"

"Breaking laws," he shrugged though he knew the stranger couldn't see him, "pro'bly some they haven't even come up with yet."

"Sounds like you're in here for the long haul."

"I guess so. If breaking out really isn't possible."

"You got any family on the outside?"

"Nope."

"I gotta little girl... I know she must hate me... I wouldn't blame her."

"Sir, with all due respect," not that Kai had any to give the man, "I really don't care and I'd like to get some real sleep."

"Go right ahead, sorry for bothering you."

Kai snorted before laying down on the bench. For a criminal this guy sounded a little too decent. He must be in for a minor offense like shoplifting or refusing to pay taxes. As he curled up on the bench he was already coming up with multiple escape plans. His thoughts drifted to the club. Hina still had his money.

**Forget it, **the wordscame clear in his head, **you're never getting out. Don't bother trying**. Kai laid awake for hours before finally drifting back to sleep with nothing but the cold metal and a sense of hopelessness..

* * *

"I'm here to see the one they brought in last night," Jinora was speaking to the man at the front desk.

"I'm sorry Miss... Changpa? But we don't allow visitors in to see inmates until we've run a thorough background check," he told her in a monotone voice.

"I'm friends with the chief, does that count for anything?" He looked up at her over his glasses.

"You're personally associated with Chief Beifong?"

"Go ahead and call her if you don't believe me," Jinora straightened her shoulders and tilted her chin upward. The man simply sighed and reached for the phone before dialing. She waited as it was answered and he began speaking to Lin.

"Chief, I've got a girl here who says she knows you and she'd like to visit with one of the inmates... her name is Gynora Changpa... right Jinora... the one brought in last night, the one we've been after for months... yeah him... should I let her in...? Alright..."

"It's for you," he handed the phone to Jinora. Taking it in her hand she placed the phone up to her ear.

"_Jinora, did I hear that correctly? You're there to visit with a criminal?"_

"That's right," she took a deep breath to ease her nerves while she tugged at the leather bracelet around her wrist.

"_Why?_"

"He saved my life last night. I'd like to thank him properly, face-to-face."

"_Saved you?_"

"Yes, like I said before there was another man there with a gun. If this man hadn't acted when he did I would probably be dead right now. I think that at least warrants a thanks."

_"You're not going to leave until you're allowed in or forced out are you?"_

"You know me." There was silence on the other end before Lin told her to hand the phone back to the guard. The guard took the phone and nodded as he listened to what Lin said to him.

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded, "you're the chief." He hung up and told Jinora to follow him. He led her through a few halls until they came to a securely locked door. The guard entered a code into the dial pad and there was a heavy, metallic click. Shoving the door open he led Jinora through and then down to where the inmates were housed. "Don't get too close to the cell doors, some of these fellas can be a bit wily. He's in the eighth cell down," he warned and directed as he unlocked the door into the hall where the cells were lined up. Swallowing her nervousness, Jinora went in after he opened the door for her. As she made her way past the other cells, heads turned and a few catcalls rang out from the men inside. She shook off their comments and come-ons, trying particularly hard to ignore the highly suggestive ones and keeping her focus as she came to the eighth cell.

Kai could hear footsteps on the concrete floor coming closer and stopping just outside his cell. Believing it was a guard he looked up only to see a girl standing on the other side of the bars. She looked oddly familiar...

"I came to say thank you for saving me life," she took a deep breath a second time to keep herself at ease.

"Yeah I remember you, you're the girl that stuck around instead of run like I told you to," Kai raised a brow at her.

"Probably not the smartest thing I could have done huh?"

"No kidding, but I guess I can't blame you," he rose from the bench and sauntered over to the barred door. He tilted his chin down and looked up, "you were only trying t'help." Jinora took a small step back as her heart suddenly began racing.

"By the way, thanks for getting his attention away from me for a moment. You must be pretty used to distracting men," he smiled slyly and gave her a wink. Getting his full height up close, Jinora could see he was only a few inches taller than she was bringing them close to eye-to-eye level.

"So I've been told," Jinora replied with a steady smile. Something about the way she spoke made Kai's own smile drop. It wasn't annoyed, flirty or bashful like he was used to but rather tolerant, as though it had no effect on her whatsoever.

"If you went through all the trouble to get in here I imagine a chance to say thank you isn't all you're here for," he said with a sigh as he returned to the metal bench and sat down.

"I _would _like to get to know you," she shrugged.

"Not much t'know," he laughed dryly.

"I'm Jinora, what's your name?"

"Call me whatever you like."

"I'd like to call you by your name."

"Kai. Just Kai."

"No last name?"

"Nope."

"So Kai, where are you from?"

"Some place."

"Specifically."

"Somewhere in the Earth States."

"How long have you been in the United Republic?"

"Few months."

"Do you have any family?"

"No," Kai was starting to get annoyed by all the questions. What did she want? Why all the prying? She had to have some other reason for being there. No one came into a prison looking to make friends.

"How long are you going to be in here?" she asked.

"They said I could be looking at forty to forty five years."

"Wow... that's a lot of time."

"Maybe I'll use that time to figure out the secrets of the universe. Why are you asking so many questions?"

"I told you," she said with a slightly brighter smile, "I just want to get to know you."

"Riiight," he dragged, "and that's it?"

"Not exactly, I have an idea on how to get you out of here." This caught Kai's attention though he did nothing to show it.

"What makes you so sure I wanna leave?"

"You really want to spend the next four decades in a cage?"

"Maybe," he gave a mocking smile, "but I'm listening."

"The law says only family can get you out of here... but you have no family..."

"Yes, we've established that," Kai huffed, rubbing his head as he was beginning to feel that headache again. Was this girl here to waste his time? Did she have nothing better to do? "No parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents or legal guardians of any sort."

"...What about a wife?" she asked after a moment. Kai laughed humorlessly in response.

"Nah, I'm too much for the ladies t'handle for more than one night."

"But you_ could_ have one."

"Yeah, unfortunately the only way that'd be able to happen is if they throw a girl in here that could take me and that wouldn't do any good as far as getting me outta here."

"Why does she have to be thrown in?"

"Think about it, it's not like a girl would waltz right in to this stink hole looking for a-" he paused. The dots were connecting.

"I can get you out of here," she told him without a hint of hesitation in her calmed voice.

"Hate to break it t'ya Doll, but the police here _do_ investigate. They'd know you're faking," he sat up but didn't bother to look her in the eye.

"Who said anything about faking?"

"I'm flattered, but I'll pass," he sneered. It wasn't the first time he had received an proposal from a girl he didn't really know to marry her. Marriage didn't mean anything. It was just a fancy party meant to celebrate two people being obsessed with each other. It was better to stay unattached and simply go with wherever one's desires took them.

"I can show you a better life than this," Jinora moved forward slowly and placed a hand on one of the bars, her voice was soft but sure, "no prisons or chains... it has to be better than this."

"I'm sure," he said skeptically, "I've heard these promises before. You think you can show me a better world and take me somewhere nice? Think you can change me and make me a better person? I'm not that naive."

"I'll go with you!" an eager voice called out from a few cells down. She simply shook her head and ignored him.

"You don't have to be naive," Jinora's eyes focused on him as he looked back at her blankly, "you just have to say yes." Her certainty disconcerted him and caused feelings of resentment to rise. He had to break her focus somehow.

"I think I know what you're _really_ here for," Kai got up again and made his way back to the front of the cell. He lowered his voice to a seductive murmur and met her eyes for the first time since she arrived, "you don't have t'be scared to admit it." Jinora didn't appear to be moved.

"I mean it," she answered simply. Kai's headache got even worse.

"So do I," he spoke with a bite in his voice.

"Miss, your time is up," the guard called as he opened the door at the end of the hall. She looked back to Kai.

"What do you say?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Kai gave her a cheeky smile before she turned and walked out. Soon the door was shut and she was gone with the guard.

"I think you blew it man," one of the other inmates said from another cell, "you may have just passed up your only chance of getting out of here."

"Going from one prison to another," he scoffed, "I haven't lost anything."

"If a babe as hot as her came to my cell I would say yes in a heartbeat," another laughed.

"Trust me, after a while they all start t'look the same," Kai brushed it off before going back to sit on the bench. He didn't want to think about it, but by the way she looked at him, he couldn't shake the feeling that he hadn't seen the last of her. What was her angle? What did she have to gain from this? There must have been something.

**Everyone wants something,** a dark low voice spoke to him, **whatever her reason may be, she wants to own you. Don't let her.** Kai let out a breath and slumped back against the wall. He wasn't going to let anyone own him. He belonged to nobody.

As Jinora walked out of the prison she felt like kicking herself. What was she thinking? Had she lost her mind? What kind of sane and rational girl walked into a prison and asked a man with a forty year sentence to marry her when he was only a stranger?

_Did I really think this through, _she thought to herself, _or was it just hormones? He seemed pretty certain. But he saved me so he must have some humanity. Do I really believe that's enough to marry him? He says he's heard the promises before, so I wouldn't be the first. This is perhaps the most brave or the most stupid thing I have ever even attempted... _Then she remembered what he said about not having any family and her heart sank. She couldn't imagine life without her parents or siblings. Her family was her whole world and he had _none_.

_Maybe I only asked out of pity, _she contemplated to herself, but was it really a meaningless gesture? She had grown up believing that marriage was a forever deal. It was a spiritual contract meant to be honored and kept sacred. She still believed that. You don't just give that to anyone, pity or no pity. The image of his eyes flashed through her mind. They had seemed so distant, like someone who had forgotten their own name.

_What do I do? _she wondered, _there's no way he'll see what I'm offering him. Even if he does, what are the chances it'll mean anything to him?_

_**Don't abandon**_, a soft voice came from the back of her mind, clear and sure. Her conscience undoubtedly.

_I'm not abandoning_, she reasoned, _I can't abandon someone I'm not loyal to._

_**How many loyal friends do you think he has?**_

_None I guess... no one to teach him what's right,_ she lowered her gaze as she walked down the street, _or he probably wouldn't even be in there._

_**Then give him one.**_

_Even if it kills me?_ she mentally scoffed.

_**There are those who would do the same for you.**_

Jinora couldn't argue with that no matter how much she wanted to. How much really separated her from this man other than circumstances? If she had grown up without her family and no guidance, no one to tell her the difference between right and wrong she would probably be right there in that cell with him. With a deep, cleansing breath, she made up her mind all over. Tomorrow she would go back and ask again.

_He never actually said no._


	3. Imprisioned

_"Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage."_

_-Richard Lovelace (To Althea, from Prison)_

* * *

_Day two_, Jinora mentally prepared herself as she entered the prison once again. The guard led her down the halls and into where the inmates were kept. A second time she went past the cells and ignored the calls of the prisoners inside. Coming up to the eighth cell, she saw Kai as he finished brushing his teeth. Looking up, Kai felt his headache return in full force as he saw her standing there.

_You've gotta be kidding_... a half smile disguised his thoughts as he spoke nicely to her.

"I'm sorry Miss, I didn't see you there. What's your name again?"

"Jinora," she answered simply.

"Don't suppose you're back here because you missed me," he smirked.

"Not in the way you might imagine," she shrugged. Not sure what she meant, Kai's confident look disappeared.

"Alright, let's cut t'the chase, what are you here for?" he sighed.

"Same reason I was here yesterday," she tilted her chin upward. He hated that. It was like she was doing it purposefully to look down her nose at him. Just who did she think she was anyway?

"What? You still wanna be my heroine? Swoop in and save me from myself?" he mocked.

"No, only you can do that," Jinora smiled calmly. The more calm she appeared to be the more irritated he became.

"You know I only saved your life as a favor right?" he attempted to shoot her down.

"Because you hand out favors to everybody?" she raised a brow at him.

"Alright," he raised his hands in feigned surrender, "you got me. I saw you and fell madly in love with you right from the first instant. I had t'save your life! I couldn't imagine a world where you don't exist! You're just too beautiful and amazing!"

Jinora pinched the bridge of her nose with a rough exhale. What would it take to get through this guy's thick skull? Just what was he trying to hide behind that arrogant exterior? Minutes passed as their conversation continued. She asked questions that were met with sarcastic remarks. At a point an inmate a few cells up told them to 'just kiss already'. At this Kai gave a suggestive smile, but she remained collected.

"Do I owe you or something?" Kai eyed her skeptically, "Seriously. You would not stick around this long just to hammer in a generous offer."

"I'm not 'hammering it in', I'm holding it out."

"What for? You're looking for 'the one'? And you poor, sweet thing actually think it's me?"

"No, I think it's me," Jinora told him with a gentleness in her voice, "as for you, you could have run when you had the chance, and you _did _have the chance. Nobody risks their own lives over a favor." To her surprise, he slowly reached his hand out to place it on her upper arm and gently stroked her shoulder with his thumb.

"You know what... you're right," he smiled, "it was actually pretty brave of you to help me out. I just wish I knew a way to thank you..." Before she could react, her time was up once more. One last time, she tried to look him in the eye.

"You won't regret it."

He waved with a fake friendly smile before turning to sit back on the bench. As Jinora went to leave with the guard, Kai grinned to himself. Round two was his victory. The next several days were a series of visits. Each time she came with the same calm and asked about things such as his likes and dislikes or favorite games, made the same offer, and each time Kai brushed her off then felt a sense of pride when she was taken back out. As the time wore on, despite the apparent success, in his mind's eye she still stood on the other side of the cell door. Why did she have to be so persistent? Why did she have to take interest in him of all people? The very thought of her had become enough to unsettle him. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? The next day Kai sat at a table in the cafeteria pushing beans around with his chopsticks. Without much to distract himself, his mind fell back into the past. At least this food was better than anything the Dai Li ever allowed him to eat. Shutting his eyes he tried to block out the images of the cold, green crystal lighted place that reminded him of a coffin. His dark memories were interrupted by a smack on the shoulder by another inmate named Chow. Along with him were a few others.

"Hey Kai, what's up?"

"What d'you want?"

"We just wanna know more about that girl that was at your cell yesterday."

"You mean the crazy one that wanted t'marry me?"

"Yeah, what was her name?"

"Don't remember," Kai lied.

"Boy was she a hot one," a dark haired, blue eyed man with a rough shave laughed, "crazy or not."

"One word," a man who was clearly of Fire Nation descent grinned impishly, "delicious."

"Next time she visits I'll send her t'you," Kai turned to give him a side eye, "one less headache for me to deal with."

"That would be awesome," he laughed.

Kai didn't think much of it for the rest of the day. Who knew when was the last time any of these men saw a pretty young girl? She didn't even wear very flattering clothes but they all drooled over her like she was a scantily clad waitress at a diner. The next day came and went yet to Kai's surprise she did not appear. Perhaps she finally got the message. He knew he should feel glad that he was finally was rid of her, but he couldn't shake the sinking feeling that he really had let his last chance of leaving the prison cell go. Two more days passed and still she didn't come. Surely he knew she'd give up eventually yet he felt no satisfaction in it. Jinora would visit at three in the afternoon, so when that time came he instinctively looked up to see if she was there but it was just an empty hall.

_ What else did I expect? _he thought to himself bitterly, _she's just like everybody else._

That night Kai was restless. Turning himself over on the hard bench, he struggled to keep his eyes shut. He watched as a flickering glow from a light bulb near the door reflected against the wall. If he could just concentrate on one thing maybe he could calm himself enough to get some sleep. He hated the silence and he hated the dark that surrounded him. The guards had given him a single sheet to keep himself warm at night, not that he needed to warm himself at that time of year. Getting up he tried pacing to get whatever energy he had left out. When he laid back down he was exhausted but still sleep was denied to him. He laid there for hours before finally falling into an active slumber.

* * *

Jinora opened the front door to the penitentiary and made her way to the front. The guard sat behind the desk while filling out paperwork. Glancing up, he eyed her with interest. "Took a break?"

"The girl in the dorm next to me was sick and had no one to take care of her."

"Ah," he nodded in understanding, "I'll assume you're here to visit the usual, just let me put this away and I'll take ya back."

"Okay," she fiddled with her thumbs while she waited. As she stood in the lobby another guard came by with a young Fire Nation man in handcuffs whom Jinora noticed was staring at her in a way that made her uneasy. The guard briefly left him while they entered a key into the door. She couldn't help but wonder just how long the guard had worked there if he was so careless about turning his back on a prisoner. Perhaps if she ignored him he wouldn't say anything.

"Hey," he greeted. She remained silent.

"If you're here looking for a bad boy to be your lover you might want to go for a _real_ man instead," he said with an attempt at a charming smile.

"No thank you, I'm just here for Kai," she turned her head away hoping the conversation would end there but he kept talking.

"Really? 'Cause he said he'd be glad to have one less headache by having you coming to my cell."

"He said that did he?" Jinora's hands clenched into fists and behind her tightened lips her teeth grit together. Momentarily she forgot her breathing exercises.

"Yeah, I wouldn't waste your time on him... but if you're interested, I'm always available," he told her before being taken away by the guard.

When the one from the front desk came back, he led Jinora through the halls to the cells. As soon as the door was open, she made her way toward the eighth cell. The rising catcalls quickly fell silent as she marched past. When she came to a stop, Kai's head was to her as he was on his back looking blankly up at the ceiling.

"One less headache huh?" she asked with her hands planted firmly on her hips. Turning over to look at Jinora, Kai wasn't sure how to react. He was sure he'd seen the last of her. Figuring that the game was going to continue, he swung his legs over the side and got to his feet as he cocked his head casually.

"I never gave you any reason t'think I'd say anything else," he could see he had finally gotten to her and that gave him the satisfaction he aimed for.

"No, you didn't," she replied tersely, "I don't get you. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life in here? You must have experienced _something_ better than this before."

"I'll get outta here on my own," he folded his arms over his chest, "I'll figure it out."

"Then what? Go back to a life of fighting, lying and stealing just to get by? Relying only on yourself? I know the charges against you and I know that's no way to live!"

"It's the only _real _way, Sweetheart," he said the nickname with contempt before his expression became softer, "the sooner you open your eyes t'that the better."

"It's the only way you know, but that doesn't mean it's the only way that's real."

"I'm not so sure about that..." he turned his head away.

"I can prove it."

"I'm sure you can," he moved to the front of the cell his eyes down on her, "but it won't change anything."

"It can," Jinora told him while trying to keep her heart rate under control. She had to stay focused but it was difficult with those big, forest green eyes looking at her that way... no, not at her, but through her.

"I wanna believe you," he lowered his voice to a near whisper and a small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.

"It's not that hard to believe," she pinched her lower lip between her teeth as she felt a blush beginning to grow hot in her cheeks._ No, don't get distracted. He's trying to put me off balance. I have to stay focused._

"Too bad I can't get a sample of it just to be sure..." he continued, his voice breathy.

Jinora suddenly found herself frozen as though unable to react as he leaned out further and captured her lips in his. She felt as though she were melting and hesitantly reciprocated the kiss, her mind going blank. It was just a kiss right? There was certainly no harm in that... A few whoops and whistles rang out from the other cells as inmates leaned their heads out for a better look. She felt him beginning to open his mouth against hers and her eyes opened as she was slowly becoming aware again. Jumping backward Jinora pulled herself away.

"No!" she breathed deeply to steady herself, "no." Kai was visibly confused before a look of understanding took over his face. It all made sense now.

"You've never been with a guy before," he said with certainty contained in his gleeful grin, "you must be pretty desperate."

"I'll ask this one last time," she began, ignoring his comment, "yes or no. If you say yes, I'll show you a better life outside what you know, if you say no I'll walk out of here and you'll never have to see me again. The choice is yours and the choice is final so choose wisely. Once it's done, going back on it won't be an option." He lowered his head and paused for a few moments to think. Taking in a breath through his nose he exhaled through his mouth with a rugged sigh.

"Alright... fine, it can't be any worse than this dump."

"You're sure?"

"Yes," he expected a triumphant look on her face, but when he lifted his head all he saw was a serene smile. Going into her pocket, Jinora held something in her hand. Reaching behind the bars, she took his and slid a gold band onto his finger.

"This belonged to my grandfather, it's a perfect fit," she smiled at him softly, "you're in for a big surprise when you get out of here."

_Let her dream_, Kai thought to himself. It didn't matter anyway. After one day with him, she'd be running for the hills.

"I'll be back tomorrow with someone who can officiate the marriage and I can work on getting you free."

"Yeah, sure," he said carelessly. **Trading one prison for another.**

By the time night had fallen Jinora was back in her dorm and nestled in her bed. The moment she had settled, she was overwhelmed by doubts and fears. _What do I think I'm doing?! Do I honestly think I could spend the rest of my life with a criminal?! He obviously has no romantic feelings for me of any sort. He barely knows me as a feeling human being! There are plenty of men out there far better suited for me but out of all them men in the world I'm going to marry him?! _Was he right? Was it really desperation and physical attraction that drove her to such extremes? She had given in when he kissed her didn't she?

Still, she liked the sound of his name. She could say it over and over in her head and never get tired of it. Then there was the collision between them only to have them meet shortly after in an encounter that could have cost them both their lives yet they helped each other come out of it relatively unscathed. Did destiny have a hand in this or was it just her imagination after reading so many romantic novels? Her father always told her that destiny is difficult and near impossible to see at times but things turned out okay. Underneath that bitter and crude exterior, there's a person. But who in their right mind would see him as _husband_ material? Some who were naive enough may believe that but Jinora knew herself to be far from naive. She was well aware that he was dangerous. He could break her heart without blinking, yet she wasn't afraid.

_There's going to be times when I'll think I'm wasting my time and I'll want to walk away... there are going to be times that are going to hurt a lot... my worth is far beyond what he sees in me, he just needs to open his eyes... I want to be there for him. I want to be the friend he never had before. The one that won't give up on him no matter what. Tomorrow I will promise to be that friend, and there'll be no going back._

Sitting up, Jinora crossed her legs and began to meditate. Breathing deeply, she concentrated to clear her chakras of her fears so her energy could flow freely. One by one, the blocks were cleansed away. A sense of peace fell over her. As she opened her eyes, her mind was clear of worries and negative emotions. The only thing that remained was logical thought and determination. With this peace of mind, she fell quickly into a deep and easy sleep. She could rest easy despite knowing that her whole life was about to change.

Meanwhile, across the city Kai was breathing heavily in his own cell bed. The echo of a voice was drumming in his head. 'Again', the voice called from the darkness surrounding him. Kai threw a punch but his fist met only empty air as a blow met his gut, causing him to double over. 'Again'. He lashed out but was kicked to the ground from behind. Before he had the chance to pick himself up, he was thrown back down in agony. His throat was painfully dry as he looked up and could make out the silhouette of a tall man standing over him.

'You're _weak_ but you show promise. You won't stop fighting. That's good. You'll learn to be stronger. Now get up! Or you'll follow your friend'. Kai forced himself to stand. The next blow came and his eyes snapped open wide. He looked around at his empty cell before covering his face with his hands. A gleam of color caught his eye and he observed his left hand. The golden ring on his finger brought his recent memories flooding back.

_Right, I'm getting married tomorrow, _he mused with a sense of irony, _living the dream._

* * *

"Congratulations Mr. Groom," Chow guffawed from inside the cell across from Kai the next morning, "you're gettin' hitched and gettin' outtuh here."

"The marriage a formality," Kai leaned the back of his head against the wall of the cell, "if she honestly thinks it's gonna last she's got her head stuck in the clouds."

"I don't know," the eastern crook shrugged, "she seemed to have her head on pretty straight as far as I could tell and I've seen some _real _crazies in my time."

"I'm sure there are some that are more subtle than others, not that she's all that subtle."

"Whatever you call it, you're the lucky one."

"I'd love to see how." Kai tried to ignore Chow. He figured that whatever reason the man was in there for, it must have had something to do with selling cactus juice. Sometimes it seemed like the prisoners there only spoke just to hear their own voices. As for marriage, the whole idea seemed ridiculous to him. Why should anyone limit themselves by sticking to one person their whole life or at least trying to? It usually ended as soon as they got bored with each other anyway, after that any attempt to prolong it was simply out of the fear of change or sheer pride.

"Here comes the br-ide," Chow sing-songed jokingly.

Raising his head, Kai looked up to see Jinora appearing in a simple sundress with a yellow torso and red-orange skirt that fell just above her knees. Not exactly the extravagant white gown most little girls dreamed of wearing on their wedding day. Beside her was a tall, lanky man with dark hair and olive colored skin.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"As I'll ever be," he shrugged and took a few short steps to the front of the cell.

Jinora took his hand which sat in hers limply. Kai barely listened as the man officiating the union spoke. For the most part, Jinora kept her eyes downward, casting an occasional glance up at his face. Kai allowed himself to be distracted by thoughts of what he would do once he was out. Surely Shady Shin would be after him for payback along with others. Of course the last place he'd expect to find Kai is living with a college girl in her nice dorm surrounded by all her nice friends. Perhaps it was the best place to lay low for a while. As the officiator came to the vows, Jinora kept her focus trained on Kai.

It had taken some convincing to get the guard to let the officiator in. Jinora had decided not to tell the guard what he was really there for. If he was onto her motive in helping Kai, he would at least call the chief and there was no way Lin would allow this if she were aware of it. She'd have to let her know after the ceremony was over and of course convince her not to call her parents. Jinora would have to tell them herself. How would they react to this? They certainly wouldn't approve, not by a long shot. Again, Jinora calmed herself. This wasn't the time to worry about those things. _Whether they like it or not, he's going to be part of our family. They'll have to learn to love him... This won't be easy._

"Do you Jinora Changpa take Kai to be your husband, from this day forward, to love him, guide him, and cherish him through time and weather until your dying day?"

"I do."

"And do you Kai... take Jinora Changpa to be your wife from this day forward, to love her, protect her, and cherish her through time and weather until your dying day?" the officiator said upon finishing with skeptical tone. It was clear that he was doing this against his better judgement. She probably bribed him.

"Sure."

"Then by the power vested in me by the United Republic, I now pronounce you... husband and wife," the man looked as though he had to force himself to say the last part. In that moment, with the imprisoned as their witnesses, they were wed.

"So now we kiss right?" Kai asked with a suggestive grin.

"Not yet," Jinora moved her hand away from his while the officiator headed for the door, "I still have to talk to the judge to get you out and we can go home."

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere," he held his arms open gesturing to the cell walls around him. With a small smile, she turned and made her way out.

"Hey, I came for the cake," Chow laughed obnoxiously as the door shut behind her.

* * *

By late that evening Jinora had paid for his bail and appealed to the judge to release him. Kai wasn't sure what she did. She certainly didn't look like the wealthy sort given her modest, simple clothing so bribery in this case seemed unlikely. Perhaps she used a form of payment that didn't involve money. Whatever she used, the cell door opened before ten o'clock that night. Kai threw the guard a taunting smirk as he walked out, earning a cold glare in response. He savored it. When he came to front doors the girl was waiting for him with one hand holding the other.

"Come on, the bus leaves in five minutes," she nodded her head toward the outside, "we better leave now if you don't want to go on foot."

"You take the bus?"

"Normally I'd walk. You sound surprised."

"I dunno, I thought someone like you might have a satomobile or something," he shrugged.

"Like me?" she raised a questioning brow at him.

"Well I can tell you're not dirt poor if you're personal friends with the chief and are able to get me outta here in less than a day," he pointed out as he pushed the door open and walked out with her following, "I think you can at least afford one."

"I can, I just choose to walk."

"Why? It can't get you anywhere fast." Jinora answered but he wasn't truly listening. They came to the corner where a bench stood with a bus stop sign and Kai wondered to himself why he didn't just run. It wasn't as if she had the physical capability to stop him. He remembered that if he ran he'd have nowhere to go. His apartment upstairs at the nightclub was likely teeming with Triads working with Shady Shin. At least a college dorm would be a cozier place to stay than the city streets.

In a matter of a few short moments, the public transit bus pulled up and the new couple boarded with Jinora leading the way. This wasn't Kai's first time on the bus but he never did enjoy sitting silently while strangers stared at anything that might catch their attention. The dangerous looking man with blue striped tattoos on his forearms attracted at least a few glances. As they took their seats he noticed a small girl who was sitting next to a middle aged man staring back at them. Kai tried to ignore her large, inquiring eyes looking them over. In her peripheral vision he saw Jinora smile warmly and wave at the tiny child. The girl returned a shy smile and gave a small wave before facing forward in her seat.

The bus began moving and soon they were passing signs, large buildings and pedestrians. He paid no attention to Jinora as he kept his eyes outside. She found the silence apart from the rumbling of the bus engine and the occasional bump bothering. Looking down she spied his hand resting on his thigh and placed her own on over his. There was no reaction as she stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. He continued to stare emotionless out the window as though she wasn't even there. Despite his indifference, Jinora did not withdraw until the bus stopped a block away from the campus. Taking her pack she led him off the bus and toward the dorms. It was already dark out and some students were walking together while talking and laughing. He wondered if they were laughing at the sight of him and Jinora.

"They actually let guys live with girls here?" he asked.

"Only if they're family. I don't have any roommates so there's plenty of space," she smiled back at him. They eventually came to the third floor of the dorms and Jinora unlocked the door. Upon coming inside Kai could see the apartment was small but well kept and neat, not like he'd imagine most college students kept their living areas. It was sparsely decorated with a few antique looking ceramics and a wooden pendant hanging from a hook on the wall.

"You a collector or something?"

"Or something. They're family heirlooms," Jinora told him as she placed her bag in a corner by the closet.

There was a single bed, some armchairs, a small kitchen, bathroom and living area. A sliding glass door led out to a small terrace that overlooked the surrounding neighborhood. Kai noticed that there was no TV or computer devices of any kind, but there were many books sitting on a shelf near the bed.

"I know it doesn't look like much," she started as though she could read his thoughts, "but it has all the necessities."

"You don't even have a computer, you might as well be living under a rock," he said plainly. He thought only really old people lived like this. _Great. If she doesn't have much to occupy her time, guess what I'm here for._

"When I need information I just use the library's computers. I go there enough as it is," she reached into a cabinet to pull out some plastic cups and set them on the counter before pulling out a carton of banana mango smoothie, "besides I have more important things to do than worry about an article on how to keep things 'spicy' in a relationship."

"Speaking of spicy," he slowly moved behind her and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear while speaking enticingly, "don't you think you should have a little fun on your wedding night?" His voice alone could have melted her, and his touch was oddly comforting. Jinora shut her eyes to try and block it out. Turning she reluctantly took his hand and pushed it away from herself, denying his bait.

"No," she forced herself to say, but he caught the slight waver in her tone.

"Why not?" Kai tilted his head to graze his lips against her cheekbone, "this is what you've waited for isn't it? I'm all yours. You can have me however you want me. You don't hafta worry about impressing me, just let me pleasure you. I can be gentle. I know you want it."

It wasn't hard to tell that he had done this plenty of times before and the thought caused a boiling in Jinora's chest. Holding her head high, she spoke calmly as she dismissed her jealous emotion. Why did he have to make this a battle? Whatever the reason, he wasn't going to win this the look on his face was gentle his eyes remained steely. He didn't even want it for his own pleasure.

"You're right, I _do_ want it," she admitted without shame, "but not until our marriage means more to you than people betting half their stuff that they'll last forever." At that Kai frowned and stepped back away from her which brought Jinora both a sense of relief and slight disappointment. He shrugged and went to sit in one of the armchairs.

"Whatever pleases you," he sighed while smiling coyly.

_He's toying with me, _Jinora thought to herself with some frustration. This was a new environment for him so it would make sense for him to revert to something that made him comfortable, but she wasn't going to give in for his comfort or anything until it was the right time. Pouring the smoothie into both cups she came over and offered him one. Kai wordlessly accepted the blended beverage. If it he hadn't watched her pour it and drink some herself he might have suspected her of drugging it. After Jinora finished her fruity drink she went to a dresser and pulled out some night clothes. He watched with disinterest as she shed her sundress and slid into a slim, yellow nightgown. It confused him that she was perfectly comfortable exposing herself to him yet was unwilling to let him do the same and walked around in such concealing clothes There was a whole mass of contradictions in just a few short moments. It was difficult to pin her with a label as she didn't fit into any mold that he knew and it caused him to feel an edge of suspicion. As she went to the bed, he leaned back in the armchair while closing his eyes.

"You don't have to sleep in the chair, you can have the bed if you want the space," she offered.

"I'm good," Kai answered while closing his eyes. When the lights didn't turn off right away he opened one to look at her. He saw her sitting on the bed with her eyes closed and legs crossed. Her hands were in fists and touched together at the knuckles. She was a strange one indeed. Closing his eyes again he opted to ignore whatever it was she was doing. After a few minutes there was a click and the lights were off.

"Goodnight."

He didn't answer.


	4. Day One

_"A man often meets destiny on the road he took to avoid it." _

_-Jean de La Fontaine_

* * *

Morning brought a muted light in through the windows filling the room with a dim blue hue. Awareness returned to Kai and his slowly blinked his eyes open to see Jinora on the other side of the dorm sitting cross legged with her eyes closed already in a simple blouse and boot cut denim jeans. Upon lifting his head he felt the stiffness in his neck and let out a soft grunt. Opening her eyes Jinora turned her head and smiled warmly at him. "Morning sleepyhead."

"How are you smiling before the sun is up?" he asked groggily as he blew a stray lock of hair from his eye.

"Is there any reason not to?" She didn't even sound like she was teasing.

He only narrowed his eyes at her in a peeved frown. Pushing himself up Kai placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to work out the knot at the base of his neck. As he did so, Jinora strode over to the kitchen and came back holding a tray in her hands to set it down on the small table in front of him. Looking down he saw there was eggs, rice, tea, a pastry and mixed fruits. Without moving his head, he shifted his eyes to look up at her warily.

"I already ate breakfast, and I stopped by the store yesterday so these are yours," Jinora handed him a folded, crimson red shirt and dark grey jeans. The shirt had a collar and buttons, far from what he was used to. Why did she do this? What did she have to gain from it? Perhaps she just wanted to walk around with a decent looking guy and pretend that he was socially acceptable for her to be with.

"This isn't exactly my style," he told her while setting the clothes aside.

"Perhaps not, but it serves it's purpose. Your other clothes were old and worn out. You needed something new anyway."

"You can take a rat out the streets but you can take the streets out of the rat," he said with a taunting squint in his eyes.

"Maybe but you're not a rat, you're a person, now eat and get changed we have a busy day."

"What makes you think I'm going anywhere with you? I appreciate the hospitality but I'm hittin' the road. I have places I gotta be at and you can't tell be you expected me to stay."

"We're married now," she pointed out, "I do believe that is a lifelong contract."

"Easily fixed," he smirked and slid the golden band off his finger then held it out to her. She raised a brow at him as he did and his confidence faltered.

"Taking off the ring doesn't change anything. We're still married so you might as well."

"So what, I'm stuck with you 'til the day I die?" he asked while pushing the ring back on.

"That was the vow," she nodded in confirmation.

"Excellent," he flatly remarked while turning his eyes away from her.

She got up and moved to clean and put away the kitchen supplies she had used to prepare the meal. Kai looked down at the food and the smell of it caused his stomach to roar. He couldn't remember the last time he had fresh eggs and fruit. Not wanting Jinora to see how hungry he really was, he ate in small bites and tried not to spend much time savoring it. Though he reluctantly had to admit to himself that it was far better than the prison food. The stuff they served at the club tasted better than most restaurants but likely wasn't as healthy. He skipped the tea and picked up the clothes before stopping outside the bathroom. "Mind if I use your shower?"

"Of course, it's yours now too," she had a small giggle in her voice like he had just asked the silliest question imaginable. While the door shut behind Kai, Jinora cleared the plate he had left. When she was finished she set herself down heavily on the bed.

_We haven't even been married for twenty four hours and he hasn't even looked me in the eye or called me by name once,_ Jinora sighed to herself a drew a knee up to her chest, _what will my parents and friends think? They'll worry themselves into oblivion when they find out about this. Why do I subject myself to this? Am I some kind of masochist? Do I enjoy torture?_

**_It's not torture, it's marriage,_** a still, quiet thought came to her.

_Not a happy one, _she looked toward the bathroom door as she could hear the water turning on, _this isn't exactly how I pictured my first morning of being married, and he's definitely not someone I would picture myself being married to._

_**Have patience.**_

_Patience for what, _she asked but there was no answer.

Meanwhile Kai was slicking back his hair as water poured onto his head. The bathroom was far cleaner than any he had been in recently though it wasn't much bigger or more impressive than a hotel bathroom. The steam took the edge off the ache that continued to beat on his head. After he finished he turned off the water, dried himself and changed into the clothes Jinora had given him. Though he couldn't see himself in the fog clouded mirror but he knew he must have looked like a respectable person and couldn't shake the feeling that he was about to go into public as a fraud.

_ So what do I care, _he wondered,_ shouldn't be all that different from any other con I've pulled._

**She's trying to change you into something you're not,** a dark thought loomed, **to fulfill her own little fantasies because you make it so easy for her. Who you are now isn't good enough for her. Just like everyone else. You shouldn't change for her. You can't change who you are inside. **At that Kai pressed his lips tightly together and opened the bathroom door to step out. As he did he expected her to make a smart comment on his outfit and how he looked much better now that he ditched the criminal getup. Instead she only picked up her bag and came up next to him.

"Ready?"

"I guess so." She took his hand and again it felt as though she were holding a dead animal hanging limply in hers. Following Jinora outside, Kai allowed her to lead him down the street and away from the college dorms. The sun was already up and people were moving about. They passed a few blocks and came to a market place where citizens from different nations were selling handmade goods such as beads, ceramics, clothes and other cultural products.

"What are you here for?" he asked as he kept his head low, not bothering to take in a good look at his busy surroundings.

"My little brother is having his tenth birthday next week and I can't be there because of exams so we're getting him a gift that says both 'Happy Birthday' and 'Sorry we couldn't make it'."

"I'm sorry, 'we'?" he looked at her pointedly.

"You're going to meet him eventually, and I'd like for you to help me pick out something. You were a ten year old boy once, maybe you can give me a little insight into what he'd like." Kai felt himself becoming tense and thought quickly to brush off the momentary effect.

"That was a very long time ago," he replied in an annoyed tone that did not invite any questions. Jinora was silent for a moment as though considering his words before smiling again.

"Well maybe you can just be my second opinion," she offered as she led him to a booth that displayed several Air Nomad relics that had been gathered from around the temples. Picking up what looked like a small instrument, Jinora held the musical device in her hand. Flicking the metal tines on the wooden board with her finger it created a ringing sound not unlike that of a xylophone. The man running the booth had a bushy grey mustache and dark, deep set eyes above a large nose all on a round face. She smiled sweetly to him.

"Excuse me sir, what is this instrument and how much is it?"

"That young lady is an Air Nomad Mbira, and for you it will only cost forty yuans."

"Forty?" her smile fell and her shoulders slumped.

"Yes, that is the lowest price I can allow for it I'm afraid."

"I have thirty on me... is there any chance I could pay the rest after my next check?"

"Sorry miss," he shook his head, "but I'm only here for today, tomorrow morning I'm off to the Fire Nation and I can't afford to sell anything I have cheaper than they already are."

"Oh..." she set the Mbira back down, "what do you have that's under thirty?"

He handed her a flute and gestured for her to go ahead and try it. Kai watched as she placed the instrument close to her lips and blew in which caused it to emit a flowing whistle. She played a few notes before holding it in her hands to observe the carvings.

"This will do nicely," she beamed and handed him the amount he asked for of twenty five yuans. Jinora and Kai continued through the market and he could scarcely hide his irritation before speaking up.

"You know you could have just swiped the thing," he told her as he stuck his hands in his pockets, "there weren't a lot of people around and the guy wouldn't have noticed. It was just a piece of junk anyway."

"I won't steal, Kai," she said calmly as they walked, "he needed the money more than I needed the gift for my brother, besides I was still able to get him something enjoyable."

"A stick that makes sound, every ten year old's dream toy," Kai casually shot back but when he side glanced down at Jinora she showed no visible response. She simply kept her eyes forward. _It's so sad that she tries to hide how annoyed she is with me, _he thought to himself with a sardonic grin, _she won't be hard to get off my back._

While Jinora stopped to look at a booth with small books and pamphlets Kai slowly eased himself away. Taking a few silent steps back, he let himself be swept into the crowd and followed the flow to the end of the market a few blocks down. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a wallet he had snatched from a passerby in the sea of faces to check the contents. Placing the wallet back into his pocket he kept on with an aura of confidence. He could have laughed at how easy it was to loose her and pick up a few extra bucks on the way out. Taking a shortcut through an alley, he came to another street that was filled with apartment buildings. Perhaps it wasn't too late. Maybe he could go back to the club and his apartment would still be available for him. It was worth a shot but he was set on getting away from Jinora. _She's gonna have t'wake up sooner or later, _he thought, _better now than later. I never deceived her. She knows what I'm like. She should have expected this. It's her own fault for getting invested._

"Well, well, well, if it ain't my favorite little outlaw," a voice came from behind and caused a sinking feeling in Kai's gut. _Figures. _Swiveling around, Kai saw Shin appear from the shadows of another nearby alley, "glad tuh see you made it outtuh the big house."

"If you want t'be paid back I got some money for you right here," he tossed Shin the wallet and it landed at the other crook's feet. The corner of Shin's mouth curled upward in an impish half smile.

"I don't want the money no more," he shrugged, "I'm lookin' for a little payback of a _different_ sort..."

Before Kai could figure out what he meant he noticed another man come from his right and another from straight ahead. Slowly he began to move backward but bumped right into another much larger man that seized his arms and pinned them to his sides. Kai struggled but the man's size and strength were overpowering and as he lifted his head he saw he was surrounded by at least six Triple Threats. Eyes widened in terrifying realization he fought to break himself free but the larger man's grip remained firm.

"Nice bling," Shin said as he took notice of the ring on Kai's finger, "so you gotta missus now 'eh? She must not be all that impressive is she decided tuh settle down with the likes a' you."

"I'll get you more! Please! Just let me go!" he ignored Shin's words and begged as he struggled helplessly like a coyote-rabbit caught in a hunter's trap. He was almost certain they were going to kill him and was too panicked to worry about his pride.

"I ain't listenin' tuh your empty deals Kid, it's time tuh teach you a lesson," Shin grinned and snapped his fingers. Kai closed his eyes tightly against the pain he knew was coming and only hoped that it would be over quickly. The first blow knocked the breath out of him and by the third strike things began to go dark.

* * *

"Kai," Jinora called repeatedly out over the crowd as she searched through the faces walking by her. _He ran off, _she thought to herself furiously, _I saw this coming! Why am I looking for him? If he wants to live without me than let him! It'll make my life a heck of a lot easier!_

Her thoughts were consumed with anger as she strode past the booths and surveyed the area for the face of her husband. After an hour of searching, she decided the effort was fruitless. Pulling her bag on her shoulder she went up the street toward the sea shore. She needed the peace the beach provided to help her calm the frustration filling her from head to toe. As she went down the sidewalk and passed a few blocks she noticed some men across the street were laughing and heading off as though in a hurry. They looked like they were up to no good. Cautiously Jinora headed toward the space between the two apartment buildings that they had come from. At the other end of the alley she saw what looked like a figure collapsed on the pavement. As she came closer her heart began to race.

"Kai!" she cried as she ran and dropped to her knees beside him. His bruises, bumps, cuts, two black eyes and swollen nose, lip and cheek made him appear as though he had been in a satomobile accident. Placing a hand to his chest Jinora could feel the rise and fall of his breathing and touching two fingers below his jaw she could detect his pulse. Propping his head on her lap she pulled out her phone and quickly dialed for the first person she could think of. She could have called an ambulance but this was a friend who lived close by and could hopefully get there faster than the paramedics. The phone rang twice before it was answered.

_ "Hey Jinora, what's up."_

"Asami! I need you to come down to Memorial Street between apartment buildings fifty-five and fifty-six fast! It's an emergency!"

_ "Whoa! Okay, I'm on my way, what's going on?" _

"You'll know when you get here just please hurry!"

_ "Don't panic, I'll be right there."_

With that the two girls hung up and Jinora tapped Kai's face to see if she could get a response from him but he remained deeply unconscious. Looking through her book bag, she pulled out some sanitizing hand wipes that she always kept handy and cleansed some of the dirt and blood from the cuts on his face. She focused on that until a black satomobile convertible pulled up alongside the sidewalk. Jumping out of her vehicle, Asami looked in shock at the sight before her.

"What happened here?"

"I don't know, I just saw some men running off and found him like this."

"Jinora, he looks like he could be dangerous, maybe we should call-"

"Please, help me get him in the car," Jinora pleaded. Without any further hesitation, Asami took one of the stranger's arms and slung it over her shoulder while Jinora did the same on the other side. Hoisting his upper body off the ground, they pulled him into the backseat before Asami jumped behind the wheel and Jinora sat in the back with him, resting his head against her chest. Asami hit the gas and the satomobile shot off toward the hospital. Once they were on their way the elder woman looked back through the rear view mirror.

"I'm getting the hunch that you're familiar with this guy," the dark haired woman said before making a sharp turn around a corner.

"Promise you won't tell anyone yet? I don't want word to get to my parents before I can tell them myself," Jinora asked after a few beats.

"Okaaay... I promise," she appeared concerned, unsure of where the conversation was headed.

"He's my husband."

Asami made a valiant effort to not slam on the brakes. Instead she gripped the wheel tightly and clamped her mouth shut while she processed the new information. When she finally regained her ability to speak she started asking questions. "Hold on, your _husband_? Like you actually did the vows and the wedding and everything? It's legally recognized?"

"Yes."

"H-how did that happen? I mean- we talked just the other week and you said you weren't even dating."

"It was a little unexpected..."

"What was it arranged or something?" she was hopelessly confused. Arranged marriages in the United Republic were almost unheard of but not impossible.

"No, I asked him, I'll tell you everything as soon as we're at the hospital alright," she said in an exhausted sigh. Asami seemed to take the answer and remained silent for the moment. Taking out her cellphone again, Jinora called ahead to the hospital to alert them to their arrival. When the call was finished Asami spoke up again.

"Does anybody else know about this? You and him."

"Not yet," Jinora told her as she worriedly combed her fingers through Kai's hair, "I'm planning to tell them when I go back to the farm this fall. This isn't exactly something I want to tell them through a letter. And right now I just want to make sure that when they do meet him he'll be in one piece."

"I guess that's fair, but don't you think they'd be worried... I mean this is really sudden and stuff like this that's done on impulse is just-"

"It wasn't on impulse," Jinora corrected her with a hint of frustration in her voice, "I knew what I was doing and it wasn't emotion-based."

"No, I know you wouldn't do that, but that's why I'm confused," Asami glanced back over her shoulder before returning her attention to the road, "you're so smart and wise, you don't give in to your attractions just because someone opens up to you or says the right words... so this doesn't make much sense to me at all."

"It doesn't make sense to me either," she admitted, "but what's done is done."

The answer clearly wasn't enough to satisfy Asami whom Jinora could see had many more questions running through her engineering mind. When the car pulled up in front of the hospital doors several nurses were there to meet them. They worked hurriedly to put Kai on the stretcher and took him inside to check the full extent of his injuries. Jinora was taken to the front desk where she was given paperwork to fill out. She took a seat by a windows and Asami sat in the chair across from her with a stern yet compassionate look on her face.

"Now, start from the beginning."

* * *

When he came to, the first thing Kai was aware of was that he was propped up against what felt like a large pillow and had a blanket draped over him from the chest down. Shifting his weight he felt as though every bone in him had been snapped in half. A soft groan forced it's way out of his throat as his eyes opened ever so slightly. They snapped open wide when he realized where he was. The lights were off and it was night outside but he could still make out his surroundings. The arm chairs, the relics... he could have shouted with frustration. How did he end up back here? He had to get out. Pushing himself up, a blast of pain shot through him causing him to collapse back against the pillows with a sound that mixed a cry with a grunt.

"Easy," a soft voice told him. Looking up he saw Jinora coming around from the chair she had been in about to fall asleep. She knelt beside the bed and he could barely make out her features in the shadows, "easy."

"What happened?" he asked though moving his jaw caused him to wince, "how long was I out?"

"You've been unconscious for two days," she told him, "I found you after you were beat up by some thugs."

It all came back to him. Shin rejecting the offer to get him more money. Being surrounded by Triple Threats. The blows and the pain before everything had gone black. Then it finally hit him that he had been out cold for two days. Before he could say anything more he felt her hand touch his. He tried to move again but it only caused more pain to flood his body. "Try not to move," she told him, "you have a few broken ribs, a fracture in your lower leg and a concussion. That's just to name a few."

"And I'm still alive," he said emotionless, "joy."

"Aren't you happy about that?"

"Happy t'be trapped in a bed in a place I don't even want t'be _in_ with a crazy person I don't want t'be_ with_," he replied bitingly, "I'm _thrilled_." Not taking her hand away from his, Jinora drew a deep breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth.

"Get some rest," she stood and leaned over. Kai tensed as though he expected to be hit when he felt her press a soft kiss to is forehead. When she moved away he was left in puzzlement. His eyes narrowed in distrust as he watched her outline go to sit in one of the chairs and curl up to go to sleep. As Kai laid there he shut his eyes tightly. He remembered the last time he had been kissed like that and he remembered what it lead to.

_ I'm not going to fall for that con, _he thought bleakly as he closed his eyes again, _I know how it ends._

* * *

The next morning came and again Jinora was the first one up. Kai tried to ignore her but her presence filled the room even as she was quietly doing schoolwork. When the sun had risen she started cooking breakfast. When she was finished she sat on the side of the bed with a bowl of noodle soup and held up a spoon.

"Here, you need all the strength you can get."

"I can feed myse- Ahh!" Kai snapped but immediately wished he hadn't as pain exploded through his jaw. Jinora raised her brows at him.

"Really?"

"Yes," he hissed, trying not to move his jaw too much, "I don't need your help!"

"You can barely lift your head on your own," she said matter-of-factly.

"So?" he mumbled stubbornly while avoiding her eyes.

"So let me help you, you have nothing to loose and you'll get stronger faster if you conserve your strength."

After a moment passed Kai begrudgingly resigned, allowing her to feed him spoonfuls of ginseng noodle soup. He hated having to depend on her so heavily. Did the universe conspire to put him there in that humiliating position? He could just hear Shady Shin and the guys from the club laughing themselves silly and the Dai Li snarling with disgust at how pathetic he was. What was it this girl wanted from him? Nobody married someone out of prison and took care of them like that without wanting _something_ in return. Heck, no one gave out five yuans without expecting to be paid back.

"I've had enough," he told her when it was almost gone. Three days of unconsciousness had worked up his appetite though his position had all but killed it. Jinora looked at him curiously as she set the bowl down on the nightstand.

"So what was it those men wanted from you anyway? Why did they do this to you?"

"Business," he told her simply, "none of which is yours."

"I think it's my business if my husband if getting himself in enough trouble to be sent to the hospital." Husband. He was beginning to hate that word. It was synonymous with prisoner as far as he was concerned. It was his own fault. He should have run at the first chance he had. He should have just said no and stayed in that prison cell. At least there he was relatively safe. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"I'm still trying t'figure out what your angle is here," he said blatantly.

"I'm not working any angles."

"Then why are you doing this?"

"You're my husband and I love you." At that Kai snorted a humorless laugh.

"Love me?" he asked skeptically, "what do you even know about me?"

"I know all I need to," she told him. There was that bizarre steadiness in her voice and her expression that caused Kai such discomfort. That certainty made it feel as though she could read his mind and he despised it.

"I guess a handsome face is all anyone really needs," he smirked, "I know you didn't marry me for my charm."

"And not your looks either," she looked away disconcertingly. Catching onto that he grinned devilishly.

"No of course not." Holding up one finger, Jinora rose to her feet and crossed the room to shuffle through a utensil drawer. Pulling out a metal platter she returned to his side and held it in front of his face. "What's this supposed to-" Looking down at his reflection, Kai's eyes widened as he saw the bruises and cuts that marked his skin along with the two black eyes. It was a miracle that he hadn't lost any teeth.

"The doctors said none of the damage is permanent if that makes you feel any better..." she offered with an awkward smile, "it could've been a lot worse."

"I'd hate to imagine how," he muttered as he took the platter for a better look.

"I have to go to class in just a few minutes, if you need anything call me on this," she handed him a small cellphone that looked like something someone would have used in the stone age. However it was more than what he had before.

"You don't have anything I want," he told her flatly.

"Still, keep it with you," she told him before going across the dorm to pick up her bag, "I'll be back around noon." Waiting to hear if he had a response Jinora disappeared through the door when he gave none.

Throughout the day Kai had struggled to think of a way he could get back to the club. With no TV he was stuck with his own thoughts as his only form of entertainment apart from playing tetris on the cell phone Jinora had given him. He found himself wishing that she was there. Not because he longed for the company but he simply wanted something to keep his mind occupied. He tried to nap away some of the time but he was restless. Jinora returned at noon as she had told him she would. For the following weeks a routine had carved itself out. Kai would wake in the morning to find Jinora sitting in the armchair reading. She would prepare breakfast for both of them then leave for her classes to return later that day and would do her schoolwork while Kai tried to ignore her presence then they'd go to sleep with him in the bed and her in the chair. Day by day, Kai gradually grew stronger. One day while she was in one of her classes, he was determined to walk without aid. He had been sitting up for a few days and had stood on his feet already. The fracture in his leg was healed enough and the splint had already been taken off.

Holding onto the side of the bed he pushed himself up and took a few unsteady steps, like someone who had lived their whole life at sea walking on dry land for the first time. Moving toward the window, he looked outside and saw the busy city street across the dorm lawn. He watched as satomobiles drove by and students hurried to and fro. It wasn't much, but it was something that could distract him. Yet the longer he looked, the more his mind drifted. Down below he watched as a small boy ran around on the sidewalk with his parents walking while one of them pushed a stroller.

**There's no point in wanting it,** the dark voice told him, **you'll never have what that kid has. Your family saw that you were no good and tossed you aside, just like everyone else. You're better off on your own.**

Human worth was nothing more than a mask worn to hide the scars that people had. Even if they took off the mask and people accepted their scars, would they be able to accept that the person wearing it deserved those wounds?_ I wasn't supposed to be born,_ he thought to himself soberly,_ I shouldn't exist. Every scar I have is one that I deserve._ Jinora came to his mind. _The moment she realizes that, she'll get smart and leave me behind like everyone else. Nobody wants a no good criminal and upstairs club worker as a husband. A boyfriend and lover maybe, but not one they'd want their reputation linked to by sharing a shamed name. Not unless they're a glutton for punishment._ Lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed the door open and Jinora stepping in. Unaware of his dark mindset, Jinora smiled and set down her bag.

"I'm glad to see you're up," she beamed. Her smile faded when he didn't respond. Moving up to his side she smoothed a hand over his shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"What makes you think somethings' wrong?" he asked without looking at her.

"You look like you have a lot on your mind."

"So something has t'be wrong for me t'use my brain?"

"No, but when people spend a lot of time thinking it usually means either something is wrong, they're trying to figure something out, or they're worried," when he didn't answer she continued, resting the side of her head against his shoulder, "in two days I'm going back to my home outside the city. I'd like for you to come and meet my parents."

"That oughtta be fun," he snorted.

"They'll love you."

"If they're anything like you I'm convinced they'd love a rabid rat-skunk." Jinora gave a small laugh.

"Then you have nothing to worry about," she gave him a light pat on the back before moving away. Kai returned his eyes to the window in time to see the small boy and his family turning a corner and disappearing into the city.

_Can't worry about something I'm already certain of. They'll see what I am too and of course they'll want me as far away from their daughter as possible. Maybe they'll talk some sense into her._

* * *

Two days came and went faster than Kai had hoped. Jinora had packed her things and not having many belongings, by the time she was finished it looked as though the dorm was ready for someone new to move in. They came to a train station that she said would take them to a small town not far from where her family lived and they could take a cab the rest of the way. Standing in the depot, Kai kept an eye out for any sign of Shady Shin or his goons. He wanted to go back to the club, get his old room back, avoid the trip out of town all together and go back to living his simple life. Hina owed him money and he still had some valuable stuff back there, but he was still too weak to face the collectors Shin had undoubtedly sent to wait for him. He would have to sneak away from the town. Perhaps he could find a new business there and pay for a train ride back alone.

When the train pulled up they boarded and took their seats with Kai at the window and Jinora on the inside. The tickets were collected and as soon as all were aboard, the train left the station. At first the scenery outside consisted of the usual tall buildings and busy streets. When they reached the outskirts of the city the buildings began to get smaller until they were replaced by trees and forest as the train moved through the mountains. Staying silent while Jinora read her book, Kai watched the trees flying by and the steep faces of rock cut out specifically so the train could get through. At one point the train came over a bridge and he peered down to see a river far below. The mountains turned into open countryside where flocks of koala-sheep and herds of hippo-cows and ostrich-horses lazily grazed. He remembered seeing all those things when he first made his way into the city. Back then he had hitched a ride on a train in the back, now he was inside and looking out the window like he was never that outlaw though he still was. He tried to ignore when Jinora leaned her head against his shoulder and dozed off. The countryside soon returned to trees and when the train came to a stop they were at the edge of the small town. When they stepped off Kai froze.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Kai, welcome to the town of Jia," Jinora introduced.

"This isn't a town, this is a joke," he gave a feeble smile of disbelief. There had to be a maximum of a hundred or so buildings there, including homes, stores, a school and other public businesses. The population must have been less than one street in Republic City. There would be no finding any business in a town so small.

"I know it's nothing impressive, but it's home," she told him, "come on, let's go get a cab."

"This town is actually big enough t'have one?"

"There are a lot of farms around here that don't have satomobiles so they call a cab to take them to and from town," Jinora explained as she led him into a small building. When the cab arrived, the driver stepped out and smiled at Jinora. He had a tall, shaven head and thin mustache.

"Long time no see," he laughed, "how have you been Jinora?"

"I've been good, nice to see you Daw," she returned.

"You know this guy?" Kai asked quizzically.

"It's not a big town, everyone knows everyone here," she grinned as they got into the cab. Daw helped get the luggage into the trunk before taking his place in the driver's seat and looking back at Kai before turning his attention to Jinora.

"Who's this?" he asked.

"Daw, this is my husband, Kai," she introduced.

"Husband? Well it's a pleasure to meet you Kai," he greeted though he clearly appeared anxious by the sight of the passenger in the back seat.

"Likewise," he turned his head to look out the window. As the cab began moving and headed away from the buildings Kai felt himself growing more and more frustrated._ Is this it? Is this how I'm going to spend the rest of my life? Trapped out here in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do for fun? No clubs, no malls, no buildings with more that two stories. How could anyone possibly be happy way out here and so cut off from the world?_

"We're almost there," Jinora told him and sure enough, up ahead through the dense trees and down the dirt road he could see hills and before them was what looked like a wooden farmhouse with a porch that wrapped around the front and side.

_Let's get this show started,_ he thought to himself cynically as the taxi came to a stop.

* * *

_(A/N): Hey guys! I hope you're enjoying the story so far, please send in your reviews and let me know what you think. :)_


	5. Welcome Home

**Welcome Home**

_"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you."_

_-C.S. Lewis_

* * *

"... and that's how it happened," Jinora finished as her family all sat around in the living room listening to her story with expressions that portrayed their mix of unease and mystification.

"Uh huuuuuhhh," Pema nodded slowly in dubious understanding, "Jinora, Sweetie, can we talk to you in private for a moment?"

"Now," Tenzin urged while trying not to stare at the man his daughter had brought in. Having a sense of where things were going, Jinora got up as they ushered her upstairs leaving Kai with her siblings.

"Sooooo..." Ikki began once they were out of earshot, "you're our new brother-in-law or something now right?"

"Cool. I've always wanted a brother," Meelo grinned at him.

"Hey!" Rohan whined.

"I meant an _older_ one. You know, one that could help me make your life more 'fun'," Meelo told him with a wicked grin.

"I'm not here t'stay alright," Kai told them with detachment as he folded his arms over his chest as he sat back on the sofa "I'm just visiting."

"D'you have a job back in the city?" Ikki asked.

"Sorta..." He could feel their scrutinizing eyes looking him over like some sort of museum exhibit. He desperately desired to get out of the room and be alone, away from their stares, away from Jinora and away from the dirty, old farm.

"So you've been in jail huh? What were ya in for?" Meelo asked before Ikki swatted him upside the head. He yelped and rubbed where she had smacked while pointing an irritated look at her.

"Don't be so insensitive!" she admonished him.

"Oh come on!" he raised a brow, "this guy is clearly really tough, he's not gonna _cry_ just because I brought _that_ up." They continued their argument and Kai massaged his temple with two fingers. Did they have to talk about him like he wasn't sitting right there? It was annoying. He kept his thoughts busy by thinking of what Jinora's conversation with her parents was like. He could just hear them saying to her 'blink twice if you're being held against your will'. Of course they'd never believe that _he_ was the real victim. While Kai was trying to ignore the two eldest of Jinora's younger siblings, Rohan remained silent having not spoken a word about Kai since the felon arrived. So far he was Kai's favorite, though he continued to cast awkwardly inquisitive glances at the tattooed man across the room.

As he waited, Kai observed the interior of the farm house. It had large windows and much of the furniture was made of wood. The architecture of the place was something to be envied, but apart from that it wasn't all that impressive. The bickering between Ikki and Meelo was interrupted when they heard the sound of their parents and Jinora returning from upstairs. Their faces were unreadable. Pema came into the living room and broke the silence.

"Dinner is in five minutes, all of you go wash up," after Jinora's brothers and sister got up to do as she instructed she looked directly at Kai, "you too Kai." Hesitating for a moment, he thought it better not to put up resistance. Following the two teens and one preteen to the bathroom, he stepped aside as Ikki chased Meelo out yelling something about him being a pest. He wasn't sure what the fifteen year old had done to trigger that response but something told him it wasn't unusual for them.

When the family sat to eat Jinora made it clear he would not be sitting it out. Once the family was all seated and the food was set everyone closed their eyes and Tenzin began speaking words of gratitude for the food, family and happiness. As he did so, Kai mimicked the rest of the family and closed his eyes though he did no such thanks giving. When everyone began eating he only took a few small bites. Jinora hadn't said a word about what her and her parents had said while speaking with each other and they seemed perfectly at peace with him there while he felt very out of place, like a clown in a court room.

He silently observed how the family interacted with each other. In ways it fascinated him. There was an iota of embarrassment whenever one of them stopped to ask him a question. He wasn't used to these conversations. Most of the things he talked about was with his friends and involved topics like money, sex, world problems and gossip. These people talked about everything under the sun _except _those things. They spoke of Jinora's college classes, the neighbor's new ostrich-horse, and Meelo begging for them to let him get a pet lizard-dog when they argued that he already had his lemur, Poki. All were things that seemed so simple but Kai had nothing to say on any of those subjects, and yet they seemed to have no shortage of things to say. All except Jinora who spent most of the time also eating silently and watching her relatives debate and discuss. Pema had left the table for a short while telling them that she had something to take care of and returned before the dinner was over.

By the time they were finished he had eaten only half of his meal and had barely spoken more than a few words while keeping his eyes down. He never considered himself a shy person. Among those at the club he actually had a reputation for being rambunctious and usually the first to introduce himself, yet here he felt as though he were mute and was uncomfortable being surrounded by such light voices. Everyone cleared their plates and since it was Ikki's turn to wash them she set to work. Kai was tired after the hours spent sitting in the train and cautiously approached Jinora.

"It's late and I'm exhausted... where do I turn in?" he asked keeping his voice low as though trying to hide his fatigue from the others. Though he had worked to keep his strength up after his injuries a whole day of travel had left him drained. Without a word, Jinora turned to a nearby table and grabbed a flashlight from a drawer. She took his hand and turned to address her family.

"We're calling it a night, goodnight." Her announcement was answered by the goodnight wishes of the rest of her family. This was strange to Kai but he chose not to question it. With his hand still hanging loosely in hers, she led him outside.

"Where are we going? I thought we were going to bed," he asked while glancing back at the house.

"We get our own place at the edge of the property right near the creek," she said as she turned the flashlight on to illuminate the path before them. Skimming his focus over the ground and the grass, Kai struggled to keep his eyes ahead. Within a matter of minutes, they came to a cabin sitting beside the water. It had a small porch and only a few visible windows. The inside must have been no larger than an apartment.

When they came inside the front door Jinora released his hand and set the flashlight down on the top of a dresser. The luggage she brought had already been unpacked and placed in the drawers. He imagined that it must have been where Pema had disappeared to during dinner. Studying the room Kai could see a fireplace, some chairs, a single sofa, a bathroom and a wooden table. There was also a small kitchen with a pantry closet and a shelf filled with books. He didn't believe there was a place on earth that could possibly look more dull and boring.

"Where's the bed?"

"Up there," she gestured to where a ladder led up to a small railed loft.

"We can sleep in late tomorrow, then we can get started on our chores," she told him as she pulled her sleepwear from the dresser. As she did so Kai began removing his own clothes. Turning her head slightly, she caught sight of his bare torso and felt her heart leap. Jinora changed while trying to ignore the blush that burned her cheeks. Glimpsing her shyness Kai became annoyed. _She wants it. She knows she does. Why does she keep denying it? What is she waiting for? Is she just in denial? And what does she mean by_-

"Chores?" he asked with clear reservations as he was down to his boxers. Scooping the clothes off the floor, Jinora folded and set them by the foot of the bed.

"Yes, chores," she turned and looked at him with a wide eyed smile that said 'duh' though the blush was still visible on her cheeks, "I'm going to show you how to care for the bison, muck the stalls, chop wood and all that fun stuff."

"Your idea of fun and mine are radically different," he raised a brow at her, before climbing up the ladder to the loft. Once there Kai found there was hardly enough room for his head as he stood on the wooden floor. The bed itself was built into the floor and he laid down in it, pulling the cover over himself, fully prepared to get some shut eye. In seconds he heard Jinora coming up the ladder and felt the mattress shift as she laid herself down on the other side. He knew she was scooting in beside him. He sighed heavily to himself, _I knew it._ Rolling over he hung over her and lowered his head to kiss her neck provocatively. Instead of the hum of pleasure or girlish giggle he expected to come from her he only heard a single word.

"No." Drawing back he blinked down at her with eyes rounded in bafflement. Her appearance was stern but calm, though still red.

"No?" he asked.

"No," she affirmed. His brows knitted together as though he were trying to solve a difficult puzzle.

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'd like to sleep with my husband in my bed," she told him, "it's not complicated."

Slowly Kai retracted himself from over Jinora and laid on his side with his back toward her. He inched to the opposite side of the bed and shut his eyes, unsure if he'd be able to sleep with her laying so close while he was so unaware of her motives. She made no sense to him. The setting was what anyone might dreamed of for doing it their first time, and she was married now. Wasn't that what a lot of people waited for? If that was already done then why was she still turning down his offer? Wasn't it right after people were married that the honeymoon began or something? The lights were switched off and the room became dark. He could tell it would be a long night. After an hour or so had passed he heard Jinora speak to him.

"Can't sleep?" she whispered softly. How could she even tell he was awake? He hadn't made a peep.

"It's too quiet," he figured. That had to be it. Though he had usually slept during the day so he could work at night, he was used to the sounds of honking and sirens outside. Here there seemed to be total stillness and quiet.

"What do you mean? There's plenty of sounds."

"I don't hear anything."

"Listen closely."

He did and she was right. Outside he could hear firefly-crickets chirping and and the wind chimes on the porch that were softly ringing. There was the quiet tapping of a leaky pipe under the sink and a badger frog croaking just outside the window. Focusing on those sounds, he tried to clear his head enough to get some sleep. Without another word spoken between them, in the following hour he had fallen asleep.

* * *

Morning brought rays of sunlight shining in through the windows. Covering his head with a pillow Kai tried to block the beams that were directed at his head. Raising his head out from behind the protection the pillow provided, he squinted and studied the room around him. Jinora was still sleeping peacefully beside him. There was a knock on the door that stirred her awake. With a soft moan of effort she pushed herself out from under the soft blankets while Kai remained silently in the bed. Climbing down the ladder she went and opened the door to find Ikki standing already fully dressed and groomed.

"Mom told me to tell you that breakfast is in fifteen minutes," she said quickly with her perky little smile.

"Okay, I'll be right there," she said with a yawn as she rubbed the sleep from her eye. She shut the door as the younger sister turned to run back to the house. Climbing back up to the loft, Jinora gave Kai a gentle nudge.

"Come on, the day is gonna start without you if you don't get up."

"Then let it," he mumbled, pushing his head back under the pillow, "I'm not getting up before I'm ready."

"You'll miss breakfast," she urged.

"Don't care."

"Alright," Jinora sighed and gave him quick rub on the shoulder, "it's your choice." While Kai lingered under the bed sheets she dressed herself and before leaving gave him another offer to come along. Yet again he refused. Minutes passed after she left and he remained there turning over on the hard bed.

_ I don't wanna eat with the rest of them, _he thought to himself with frustration, _it's awkward and it's weird for me. I don't hafta be there so I won't go. I don't plan on staying here anyway. Forget it. No way am I sitting down with those people. _

After a sufficient amount of time had passed, he finally rose and dressed himself before leaving the cabin. When he stepped out there were birds chirping and the light of the sun caused a soft golden glow to fall on the amber colored leaves on the trees. Unsure of what else to do, he walked to the farmhouse. Reaching the front steps he could see Ikki and Rohan through the window as they appeared to be playing some sort of game. Pushing the door open he came in and immediately felt their eyes on him. He noticed that the kitchen was empty and no one else seemed to be present.

"Where is everyone?" he asked.

"Mom and Jinora are out in the garden, and Dad is looking for Meelo," Rohan answered.

"You missed breakfast but there's still some sweet buns in the kitchen if you want one," Ikki offered.

"No thanks," Kai dismissed before awkwardly heading back out the door. With the rest of the family busy perhaps this was his chance. With a stride in his step he returned to the cabin. Once inside he took a small cloth pack that he found sitting next to the closet and packed some of the clothes Jinora had brought along for him. _She won't miss anything. She'll be glad to be rid of me. Maybe once I'm gone she'll finally wake up and see she's not gonna be able to keep a man like this._ Removing her grandfather's ring from his finger, he set it down on a book that sat under a lamp on a small table beside the sofa along with the cellphone she had given him back in Republic City. With the pack secured on his back he eased out the door and headed for the road.

* * *

"Kai," Jinora called as she came into the cabin, "I kept some leftovers from breakfast this morning in case you wanted some. I hope you like tofu bacon because that's-" She caught something shiny on her book out of her peripheral vision. Setting the plate down she moved toward the table and plucked the ring up between her fingers. _Oh no... _Acting fast, Jinora ran out of the cabin and straight toward the stable. Meelo was standing outside feeding the lemurs. Looking up he caught his sister's disquieted gait and called to her.

"See a big spider-fly again?" he asked with a teasing grin.

"No, Kai took off, I have to go get him or he'll get lost," she told him as she grabbed her tack and worked hurriedly to hitch it to her bison, Pepper.

"Need any help?"

"Not this time, just tell Mom and Dad where I went if they ask," she instructed before hopping into the saddle and giving a flick to Pepper's reins, "Pepper, yip, yip." The bison began in a trot before galloping out of the stable and down the dirt road until it became overgrown by trees and shrubbery.

If Kai had managed to stay on the road she was sure she would have run into him by then. Turning Pepper off the road, she led the bison into the dense foliage while calling out for Kai. Coming up to a hill, she surveyed the area and called again but the only response was the sounds of the wilderness around her. Moving further along the road, she came to the crest of another hill and spotted a figure walking aimlessly under some tall conifer trees. Cupping her hands alongside her mouth she called out to get his attention.

Kai turned at the sound of his name and could see Jinora on the back of a large, shaggy bison on a hill not far off. There went his chance of escape. There was no way he'd be able to outrun the creature so he waited where he was until Jinora brought the bison trotting over. The closer they got the more amazed and unnerved he was at the size of the beast. He had seen plenty of descriptions of how big the endangered species was but he hadn't imagined them to be the size of a large van. Jinora on the bison's back reminded him of a military officer or some other high ranking official. A resemblance that he deeply resented.

"I'm not going back with you," he told her before she could say anything, "you can't make me."

"Fine, then at least let me take you back to the road," she shrugged, "it's pretty obvious that you're lost. Get on." Kai was dumbfounded. Was it really that easy? Just like that? Coming closer and placing a foot in the back stirrup, he lifted himself into the bison's saddle as Jinora gave her the signal to move.

"Glad you finally came t'your senses," he told her. It wasn't long before they came to a clear dirt road where she brought Pepper to a halt.

"Alright, here's where you get off."

"What?" he asked.

"You heard me," she said simply and politely. Hopping to the ground Kai looked at Jinora as she pointed up the road toward the west, "there you have thirty miles before you get to Jia and winter is coming very soon. If you walk and don't stop, you'll be able to get there in around fifteen hours or so depending on how fast you move, though it's going to get very cold by nightfall. You can walk all the way until you get there then ride a train back to the city and back to the club," Pointing down the other direction she continued, "down there is a warm bed, food and people who actually care about you. The choice is yours, but I'm not going to make the way out any easier for you." With that, she turned Pepper around and headed back down toward the farm. Kai silently stood in he middle of the road as he watched her leave unsure of what to do.

* * *

That night Jinora sat in a chair reading quietly when she heard the door open and clap shut. Peering up over her book she watched Kai drop the pack by the door. He kept his eyes down, certain he'd see a smug look on her face as she saw him come in, believing he had chosen the easy way and didn't have the guts to make that long walk. The whole way back he could only imagine her looking very pleased with herself.

"I'll go when it gets warmer out." he muttered as he was still shivering from the chilled night air. Setting her book down, Jinora took the blanket that was folded at her side and moved next to him. Swinging it over his shoulders, she led him to sit on the sofa by the fireplace. She then handed him a cup of tea that still had steam rising along with the heated up leftovers from breakfast. He could feel a grinding sensation in his empty stomach as he caught a whiff of the toasty meal. Kai's brows furrowed as he stared at her in confusion.

"Sometimes a few steps in the right direction is a longer and harder journey than a million in the wrong one," she explained softly. With that said she kissed his forehead then returned to her chair, picking up the book and starting where she left off. Kai stared down at the cup of tea and tugged gently at the soft, sweet smelling blanket around him. Why was she doing this? He had tried to run off again. Wasn't she mad? When he returned she wasn't so obviously smug over it either. She must have seen it coming. Not wanting to think about it too much, he ate quickly then set the tea aside and began to undress for bed.

He laid down on the bed in the loft and eventually was joined by Jinora who laid on the side opposite of him. When the lights turned out he focused on the rays reflecting off the moon that was shining through the slanted window and onto the bed. Looking cautiously over to Jinora he could see she was laying with her back to him and appeared to be soundly asleep.

_She must want something pretty big, _he thought to himself though he wasn't entirely sure,_ if she's willing to all of this for me._

**She's not doing it for you, **a dark voice spoke to him, **she's doing it out of pride. She doesn't want to admit to anyone that she can't keep a man. She's trying to make it so you won't want to run away. Don't fall for it and think she's doing it because she actually cares. There's something in it for her.** Kai frowned angrily to himself and turned over to place his back to her again. He wasn't going to fall for her little trick. As soon as she found out that it really wasn't going to work, she'd stop. As soon as she opened her eyes, it would be over. He wasn't going to let her own him like a trophy. With the conclusion drawn, he allowed himself to fall into sleep.

* * *

By the next morning Jinora was the first to be up and dressed. Though reluctant to rise at first, Kai had gone the whole day previous without having had anything to eat apart from leftovers and was famished. While she showered, he dressed himself. After both were ready they went to the farmhouse for breakfast. Kai tried to keep his focus away from the others to hold back the discomfort that came from sitting among them. When breakfast was finished Jinora came to him and handed him a large blue plastic bucket. Inside was brushes and ropes.

"What's this for?"

"Come on, I'm going to introduce you to the bison," she smiled cheerfully at him and headed out the door. With nothing better to do, he followed. Outside the sun was bright with only a few clouds hanging in the sky. The air was crisp and smelled strongly of grass and earth. Kai didn't think he had ever heard so many birds. As they approached the stable he caught the musky odor coming from inside. "You get used to it," she told him upon catching the look of discontent he held as he watched the ground for anything he might be worried about stepping in. The stable was open and individual stalls were lined together on both sides. He smiled wryly to himself as it wasn't unlike the cells at the prison.

_How do you like that? They kept me in a place like what these people keep their animals in. Very classy._ Jinora approached a stall with a small wooden sign that had the name Pepper carved into it. Kai watched silently as the massive bison poked it's head out over the stall door and nuzzled Jinora's cheek. Stroking the bison's stout muzzle, she reached into her jacket pocket with her free hand and gave Pepper an apple.

"This is my bison, Pepper, you two have already met," she said with a small half smile.

"Yeah the five minute ride was lots of fun," he said dryly.

"Well today you're going to help me feed her and the other bison then clean their stalls," she told him as she moved toward the stall where hay was stored.

"I'm getting paid for it right?"

"Only if you call seeing the bison being happy payment." She opened the door to the stall and dragged out a bale of the tied up grass, "help me get this in her stall."

Setting down the bucket he moved toward her and lifted the bale by the rope that tied it together. He hadn't expected a stack of grass to be quite as heavy as it was. She moved to open the stall door so he could set it down inside. While Pepper ate Jinora moved back toward the hay stall.

"She needs more?" he asked with surprise.

"Not right now, but the other bison need to be fed too," she pointed out. With a rough sigh he continued to help her bring the bales of hay to each stall. The last one they came to didn't have a name tag on it. The bison inside was larger than the rest with horns that had to be at least a yard in length. Kai was hesitant as Jinora opened the gate.

"Who's this one? There's no name on the sign," he asked as he set the hay bale down, never taking his focus off the massive bull that seemed to have its own large brown eyes trained on him. Those orbs must have been the size of a human fist. The beast's nostrils flared with each breath and it's movements were abrupt and jerking.

"He doesn't have a name yet," she told him while closing the door after he walked out, "he was rescued from some poachers when he was a calf and separated from his herd. We just bought him from some people who were planning to have him slaughtered for his meat. We've tried to ride him but he's a little too skittish." Kai had a difficult time believing that a creature that resembled a living tank could be nervous around humans that were small and flimsy by comparison. When the bison were finished eating, Jinora went to the blue bucket and took the rope that was inside. "Now we take them outside to the pasture so we can clean out their stalls."

Kai helped her put halters on each bison and lead them out without protest. When they came to the nameless bison's stall, he felt his nerves running high. Jinora went ahead and placed the bison's halter on and led him toward the pasture. When the bull was released it trotted off to the edge by the fence away from the other animals. Kai returned with Jinora inside and she directed him to a wheelbarrow while she took a shovel and handed him one along with a pair of gloves.

"Let's get to work." The process was slow and grueling. After each stall was cleaned out the waste that was placed in the wheelbarrow was taken outside and dumped into a pile where Jinora told him it would be used as fertilizer. Kai tried to ignore the smell but it was causing his stomach to turn. Glancing at Jinora he could see she seemed almost unaffected. With each stall they mucked they had to spread out clean straw on the floor.

_Her sense of smell must be dead if she grew up with this everyday,_ he thought with a grimace. Halfway through he set his shovel aside and leaned against the stall door.

"Alright, I'm done," he huffed.

"We still have two more stalls to clean out," she told him as she held her shovel in both hands.

"Five hours is long enough. The whole day will be wasted if this is all I do."

"It won't be all you do, and the day will be anything _but_ wasted if you put work into it."

"You go ahead, I'm done for the day," he set the shovel down and strode out the door. She offered no resistance. Once outside he spotted a faucet by the fence. Taking off his gloves and dropping them to the ground he turned the knob and knelt to let the cold water run over his hands._ I'll never be able to get this smell off me._ Kai almost hadn't noticed the sound of soft clomping on the dirt coming toward him. He turned off the water and finally heard the hooves pawing the ground right in front of him. Not daring to move he could feel the strong puffs of air blasting against his head like warm spurts from a hair dryer. Raising his head, Kai found his face not five inches from the nostrils of the large creature. His heart was in his throat.

Swallowing tightly he found himself unable to move. If the bison wanted to it could easily knock the fence down and flatten him like the dirt beneath its feet. The horns alone could impale a truck if the bison had a mind to try. Before he could begin to slowly move away, he felt a large, wet tongue slide up the right side of his face. Startled by the display, he was unsure of how to react and blinked back in surprise. The bison nuzzled Kai's cheek softly, not unlike he had seen Pepper do to Jinora. Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and petted the creature's leathery nose. He jumped away when the bison jerked its head back and let out a heavy snort. Leaping to his feet, Kai studied the bison while it returned its attention to him. Nervously he took a small step toward the behemoth and held up his open hand. He carefully began to pet over the bison's snout and cheek.

"He likes you." Kai turned to see Jinora watching from a few yards away. She meandered closer and stroked the bison behind its eye. "Therefore you should be the one to name him."

"He's _your_ bison," Kai pointed out.

"Only as much as he is yours, besides_ he_ chose _you_," she smiled at him. Looking the bison over, Kai noticed that the horn on the left side that was protruding from the shaggy bison's skull was slightly longer than the other.

"Lefty?" Kai asked as the bison pushed its nose against his chest.

"Suiting," Jinora grinned, "maybe soon we can get you riding him."

"I don't think so," Kai shook his head. Lefty was far too large. If he was skittish like Jinora claimed he would almost certainly buck off any rider. The experience of being thrown off a bison was not one he looked forward to.

"Okay then, since you've had a little break do you think you're up to just a little bit more time in helping clean out the stalls?"

"Sure," he said with a bored sigh. He had said he was done for the day, but it occurred to him that there wasn't much else to do on his own.

Following Jinora inside, Kai cast a glance over his shoulder at Lefty who remained by the fence. For the next hour they cleaned our the rest of the stalls before going back to the house for a late lunch. All that work and the day was only half over. After lunch the two of them brought the bison back into the stalls to groom them. Jinora showed Kai how to milk the bison, chop wood, and fix a collapsed well. By the time they returned to the cabin that night he was prepared to drop dead from exhaustion. He groaned from the ache in his limbs and back.

"You do this everyday?" he asked groggily after he flopped to the sofa completely rid of energy.

"I've been gone for the past few months so I'm working on getting used to it again," she gave a small laugh as she sat on the edge of the couch and rubbed her own shoulder, "and on top of that I still need you to help me make dinner."

"We're not going to your parent's place?" he mumbled.

"Not tonight," Jinora stood and walked to the kitchen. Kai pushed himself up with a grunt and came in just as she was taking out a cook book from a cabinet shelf. Propping the book up she began taking out ingredients from the fridge and cupboards. She handed him some nuts and instructed him to dice them. While he chopped, she focused on mixing some of the ingredients in a bowl. While she was busy she asked Kai to tell her the next instruction the book gave. Pausing, he leaned toward the recipe book and pinched his lower lip between his teeth.

"Uh... two mangoes...?" he said though he sounded unsure.

"Really?" she asked curiously as she looked over the ingredients, "I didn't see anything about mangoes."

"Right, I meant to say... bananas..." Though there was a banana at her side, Jinora set the bowl down and looked at the instructions herself. "Kai, do you need glasses? The recipe says sliced oranges and cherries."

"I don't need glasses," he answered defensively, "it's been a long day and I'm tired. My head isn't on right." Jinora looked at him curiously as she watched him focus on the page with frustration. The realization dawned on her like a slap to the face._ He can't read._ Turning her head to look at him she smiled lightly.

"Maybe you should go ahead and get ready for bed, I've got this covered. It should be done in no time." Kai shrugged and went to do as she suggested. By the time she was finished there was a vegetarian salad dish with kale, fruit and roasted nuts. Jinora handed a dish to Kai who was now changed into a white tank top and shorts. While she sat at the table to eat, he went to the couch and ate there. After the meal was finished and the plates were cleared, He followed her to the loft. It was only after he had settled under the covers that he noticed she had a book in her hands. That alone didn't surprise him, but when she opened the book and began to read out loud he cast her a look of confusion. Not noticing his look, she continued reading.

In any other case Kai would have been irritated by the sound of her talking while he was trying to sleep. Laying down he turned his back to her and pretended not to listen, but in truth he held on to her words raptly. The book she was reading was about a young sailor who joined a pirate crew. The sailor quickly learned that it was no place for someone with any sense of kindness. Over years he had learned to become a heartless scoundrel and plundered villages for fortune. He rose through the ranks and eventually became the captain of the crew. Images of the scenes she described came alive in his mind. Jinora stopped at the end of a chapter which left off on the captain's ship attacking another one for a priceless treasure that they were told was on board. She set the book down and changed into her own cotton nightwear. When she set herself on the bed again, Kai felt her move to lay against his back. Turning himself over, he was face to face with her and smiled at her lightly.

"What a day huh?" he propped his head on his hand while leaning on his elbow. With his free hand he took a lock of her hair and loosely spun it between his fingers, "it's nice t'finally get some rest."

Jinora stayed silent and kept her eyes shut. She could feel his breath warm on her cheek and was relaxed by the softness of his lips as they touched her jaw. When he raised them to her mouth she returned the kiss automatically. Gradually he placed himself so he was hanging over her and kissed her more feverishly. She seemed to respond with equal energy. At this Kai took her hand and slid it under his shirt before pulling his mouth away from hers and whispering huskily into her ear while slowly moving his hips suggestively.

"I'm all yours. I'll be whatever you want me t'be. The doting husband, the hunter, the forbidden and lustful lover. I can even be the innocent virgin boy is that's what you prefer... what'll it be?" As he began kissing her neck again Jinora seemed as though she had finally become aware of what was happening. Pulling her hand out from under his shirt she pushed herself out from under him and sat at the edge of the bed while he looked at her confused. A look of hurt softened his features and he spoke tenderly, "don't you trust me?" The look he gave her and the ache in his voice sent a sharp stab right through Jinora's chest. It was scary how convincing it was, but she knew it was an act. Even if it wasn't, it still didn't change her reason for turning away.

"It's not a matter of trust," she explained. At this, his eyes narrowed in bafflement. Leaning forward she rested her hand on top of his. "I want to wait until it's the right time."

"But we're already married aren't we?" Kai asked as he rolled onto his back and propped himself on his elbows, "and if you're convinced that we'll actually make it then you know we're gonna do it eventually anyways. If you're worried about diseases or getting pregnant I can assure you that neither of those things will happen."

"Actually, I love the idea of starting a family with you, but I think we still have some growing to do as a couple before we become parents," she smiled at him in amusement. This took Kai by surprise. She actually _wanted_ to get pregnant? As far as he knew it was something that was usually avoided and typically accidental. Unless a woman wanted control of a man through the use of child support. His questions were put on hold as she continued, "and I know it's going to happen eventually, but only once our marriage means something to you."

"It does," he said simply, "I help you out like I did today and try t'make you happy like I am right now."

"But _why_ do you want to make me happy?" she asked. At this Kai gave her a questioning look. Most girls asked him why if he refused, but she asked why he wanted to please her?

"You got me out of prison, saved my sorry butt when I was beat up by the triads and you cook good food, so is gratitude enough reason?"

"No, it's not," she told him.

"What do you want from me?" Kai asked with growing annoyance.

"Everything."

"This is _all_ you're gonna get from me, Babe," he told her, "take it or leave it. You should just take it. For all you've done for me you might as well get _something_." Before she could think of an answer he sat up and leaned to kiss her neck. "You're not doing anything wrong, just go with what feels right," he breathed as she laid back down. Jinora's head swirled and logic evaded her. Before she could close her eyes and give in though, she suddenly pushed against his chest causing him to fall on his side while she leaped to her feet and bolted down the ladder. Kai stared with brows raised and mouth hanging slightly open in surprise. Not knowing what else to do he returned under the covers and waited. He had never been rejected before and though part of him was relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with her demands for the night, another part of him was resentful that she had openly denied him.

_She probably thinks I'm not good enough for her. Fine. Let her think that. Maybe she's starting to finally get the picture and realize that I'm not staying here._

When Jinora came back up the ladder less than ten minutes later her hair was dripping wet and she was shivering with a towel draped over her shoulders. Rubbing the towel against her head she didn't look at Kai as she laid down but spoke quietly, her voice quivering, "please don't do that again."

A pang of guilt shot through him and was like a punch to the gut. Kai rolled over so his back was to her again and he gripped the pillow under his head tightly. "I won't," he said and meant it. "You know... you could have just told me t'stop."

"Could I?" she asked with an honest question in her voice. He paused, unsure of what she meant. "Even if I really didn't want you to?"

"Why do you put yourself through this?" he asked without looking at her, "it's unnecessary and it doesn't make any sense."

"I think you're worth it," she answered, "you'll understand someday." Her voice had lost it's quiver and became warm, steady and sweet. It created a sense of sympathy in him which he worked to push away.

**Think of all that's waiting for you back in the city. When you go back you can get your money from Hina then you can get your own place and never be bothered by people like this woman again.** He allowed his mind to make pictures of what life would be like when he was on his own. He'd have enough money to sustain himself for a good while. After that he'd have to do business again, but only when he needed the cash. He would have preferred to get an honest job that paid sustainable amounts but having never gone to a real school or received any formal education that much seemed out of the question. This lady and her farm would just be another one of his many distant memories. Hours passed and he remained unable to sleep. He shifted constantly, trying to find a position that would be comfortable but nothing seemed to work for more than a few seconds.

"What's the matter?" he heard Jinora ask.

"I can't sleep when it's this dark, I hate the dark," he mumbled. The moment he said it he was sure he'd hear her laugh. What kind of grown man was afraid of the dark? Most kids grew out of their discomfort with the dark long before they lost the last of their baby teeth.

Looking up, Jinora placed a hand on his shoulder. "Would you like for the light to stay on?"

"You're not gonna laugh at me?" he asked without moving to look at her.

"I think you're old enough to know there are no monsters in the dark so I believe there's something else that bugs you about it. You don't have to tell me what it is. If you'd prefer to have the light on, then we can leave it on."

"Won't that bother you?" he asked.

"I can manage," she said with a smile. After a moment the smile faded, "but if I may ask, why _does_ it bother you so much?"

"I guess you should know how ridiculous it is if you're gonna leave the lights on for it," he huffed. He couldn't see her but he could sense her watching him, listening closely. "One night when I was a kid I was out on the streets in Ba Sing Se looking for some quick bucks. I went into an alley and there was a tall man standing at the other end. When I turned around, there was another one behind me. I tried t'run but they caught me. Before I knew it I was thrown into some underground place with other people and was told I'd be living to fight for the Earth Queen in her new army. Obviously I eventually got out. But when they shut the door, everything was black. Nobody talked so it was really quiet. It was like none of us actually existed."

Jinora felt honored to be trusted with a piece of his past, but was saddened by the nature of it. "That sounds terrible... what happened after that?"

Kai felt a sharp cut in his chest. He didn't want to tell her any more. That alone was more than he told anyone other than Yuna and a few others and even in those cases he hadn't used it to explain his dislike of the dark. Along with it were some memories he'd rather not relive. It had been scary to be trapped in that dark, cold dungeon knowing that he was surrounded by people and unable to see or hear a single one of them. Despite the fact that multiple were likely feeling the exact same thing, he had never felt more alone. "Stuff..." he answered bitterly, not wanting her to probe any further.

Jinora remained silent and still for a moment. Pushing the covers off of herself, she grabbed a flashlight and slid into her shoes. "Come on, I want to show you something."

"It's gotta be like three a.m. what would you have to show me this late?" he asked with incredulity.

"You'll see. Come on."

Deciding that he wasn't going to be able to get much sleep anyway, Kai followed her down the ladder, grabbed his shoes and threw on a jacket before she headed out the door. When he stepped outside the night chill hit him like a train. Turning on her flashlight, Jinora took his hand and led him off the porch.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked with objection as she brought him through a thick of trees.

"Trust me, you're gonna love it."

"That doesn't answer my question," he grumbled. The further they went from the cabin the more uneasy he became. His senses became heightened and he could make out every rustle of leaves or snap of a twig. He could hear the hooting of a cat-owl in the forest canopy off to their left. The only source of light was the flashlight beam aimed at the ground in front of their feet. Kai kept his eyes down. Spotting something moving out of the corner of his eye, he jumped at which she turned to look at him curiously. "I stepped on something," he said after clearing his throat, trying to mask his growing anxiety. "I wanna go back. There's nothing t'see out here."

"Alright," Jinora sighed, "you can go back. But I'm staying out here and I'm keeping the flashlight."

Turning around Kai realized he could no longer see the light of the cabin. He couldn't even see the trees beyond the glow of the flashlight. Swiveling back around he let out a resigned exhale. "Lead the way." They moved further until they came to a meadow on top of a hill. Kai flinched at nearly every sound coming from the dark around them. He couldn't understand how Jinora was so calm.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Without answering, Jinora turned off the flashlight and the world was plunged into pitch black darkness. Kai gripped her hand tightly, a far cry from the earlier limpness. "What are you doing?! Turn it back on!" From the darkness around him he couldn't even distinguish whether or not his eyes were even open.

"Kai," she said softly, "look up."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

He did. The grip on her hand loosened a bit. Above their heads the sky was bursting with brilliant lights and colored with the rainbows of the galaxy. Kai's mouth fell open in awe at the magnificent sight. They appeared so close he felt as though he could reach up his hand and swirl them between his fingers like petals on the surface of a pond. It was surreal. He had seen countless pictures but none of them did the real thing any justice. Taking in the sight, he forgot his fears and set himself down in the grass to look up at them mesmerized. Jinora sat beside him, keeping her eyes upward as well.

"Beautiful huh?" she said quietly.

"Yeah," he whispered back as though he were afraid that speaking any louder would scare the stars away.

"You know what's the coolest thing about it?" He knew she read a lot of books and multiple times she had randomly pointed out scientific facts that he never found all that interesting. He expected her to point out some constellations and give him the names with the stories behind them.

"What?"

"It's always there. Even when it's covered by clouds, a roof, a blue sky or anything... all of it is always right there. You can't always see it, but it is. No matter where you are, or what's happening. No power on the Earth can take them out of the sky. Getting to see them is my favorite part about living way out here." Kai was silent as he chewed on her words. In a way it did strike him that a sight so spectacular had always been right over his head, yet he could never see it even if he had tried with all his might.

"As long as you live, those stars will always be there. And there's hope that you'll see them again. The dark alone can be scary, but without it you'd never know just how beautiful the star light really is."

"You read that out of one of your little novels?" She only gave a small laugh before answering.

"Nope. My mom told me that when I was little. We used to come out and look at the stars all the time. We also used to sing into the well. If you think a shower has good acoustics then you are sadly deprived. I've missed it."

"And now you're stuck out here with me instead."

"I like that just as much," she told him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

** Don't be wooed by a bunch of pretty lights. What good is something if you can't touch or feel it? You might as well be enamored by an illusion. Don't let her get your head so high in the clouds that your forget that you don't belong here.** With that thought, Kai's nervousness came flying back.

"I'm ready t'go back now," he said quickly as he let go of Jinora's hand and returned to his feet. Jinora reluctantly stood and turned the flashlight back on.

"Let's go then."

Before following her out of the meadow, Kai looked up one last time at the stars. A faint memory pulled at his mind but he couldn't quite make out the image or words. Choosing not to give it much thought, he headed after her back to the cabin, leaving the stars where they shined.


	6. Not Alone

_No man is an island,_

_We can be found,_

_No man is an island,_

_Let your guard down,_

_Please don't try to find me,_

_I am for you,_

_We're not meant to live this life alone,_

\- Tenth Avenue North (No Man Is An Island)

* * *

"Alright, try it now."

At his father's cue Meelo gunned the engine of a rusty, old truck built to haul loads of hay. As he did a blast of smoke fired into the bearded man's face. Stepping away, Tenzin sputtered and coughed while waving his arm to get the ashy air away from his mouth and nose.

"That's enough! Turn it off!" he coughed. Quickly Meelo switched off the engine and leaned out the window to see his father behind the opened hood.

"_Love_ the new look, Dad," the teenager snorted with a teasing grin as he observed the dust coloring the elder's face.

"Yes, well," he broke off into a couple short coughs and spoke tiredly while cleaning the dirt from his face with a rag that had been hanging from his pocket, "I suppose I was in need of a change." Looking past Tenzin, Meelo watched Kai appear from around a grove of trees. He hit the horn on the wheel causing the tan skinned man to look up.

"Hey Kai! Think you can give us a hand with this?" he called.

"I don't know how to fix cars," Kai told him as he made his way over. The frost on the grass crunched beneath his shoes as he walked.

"Perhaps this can be your chance to learn," Tenzin told him as stuffed the rag back in his pocket.

"Why not get Rohan or one of the girls t'help?"

"Rohan is just a kid and Ikki, Jinora and Mom don't like this kinda stuff," Meelo shrugged, "their loss."

"Okay, just tell me what t'do."

For the next few hours Kai worked with Tenzin and Meelo to fix the truck. He couldn't remember a time when he had been covered in so much grease. After fixing a busted belt, replacing a few parts and tightening some bolts, he stopped to take a short breather while standing next to the window of the driver's seat where Meelo sat.

"Hey, I forgot to tell ya this earlier, but if you hurt my sister, you and I are gonna have some words," Meelo warned casually while punching his fist into his palm. Kai wasn't sure if it was meant as a joke or not. Either way he wasn't going to take it seriously.

"Don't worry, I'm quivering on the inside," he replied flatly while not even looking at the kid. "Why do you guys need this thing fixed up so bad? Don't you just call the cab?"

"Some friends are visiting from the city later today and the cab isn't big enough to hold them all so we'll be driving over to Jia, picking them up and coming back."

"That's gotta be a two hour trip!" Kai pointed out with disbelief.

"They gotta get here _somehow_," Meelo answered when he saw Jinora coming from inside the house.

"Are you guys almost done with that? If we want to be there in time to pick them up we have to leave soon," she told them while folding her arms over her chest.

"Just one more twist and done," Tenzin told her before lowering the hood and standing back and brushing the perspiration off his forehead, "give it a try now." Meelo turned the key and the engine began with a bit of a jump but was soon running smoothly.

"We're good to go!" he grinned with a thumbs up.

"Great. Dad, you might want to get that grease off before we leave," she observed.

"Right," he agreed and headed inside to wash up and change. Jinora could only imagine the comments Korra would make upon seeing her respected mentor covered head to toe in grease spots. Turning her attention to Kai, she glanced up at the back of the truck then to him.

"Are you coming?"

"A two hour ride in the open back of a truck in freezing temperatures just to pick up a bunch of people I don't know," he spoke as though he were actually pondering the option, "I think I'll just find something t'do here. Thanks for asking."

"Suit yourself," she sighed and gave him a peck on the lips before going to gather some heavy jackets for the drive. Kai watched as Tenzin returned a few minutes later and took the driver's seat while Meelo and Jinora sat beside him. She made one last offer for him to join which was turned down. The truck drove out onto the dirt road and disappeared into the trees.

As she sat by the window with her father and brother, Jinora stared out the window at the passing trees. Meelo began talking about how one of his friends at school told him they were spending their winter vacation on Ember Island and how he wanted to go there too. She wasn't paying much attention until her she heard her name.

"What do you think Jinora?"

"Huh?" she asked as she turned to look at her brother.

"Vacation on Ember Island? Come on! It'll be fun!"

"If you can make it happen before next fall. After that my classes start again."

"You okay?" he inquired with a raised brow, "you don't usually space out like that."

"Yeah, I'm just a little tired."

"If you need a break from working on the farm," Tenzin began, "you're more than welcome to rest. I know it isn't easy with-" he cut himself off before he could say something Pema would reprimand him for later.

"It's okay Dad. It hadn't been easy, but I never expected it to be," she told him with a sigh.

"I thought for sure that when you got married it would be to some dork with big glasses and waist high pants," Meelo threw in, "but a crook is definitely not something I saw coming."

"_Meelo_," Tenzin addressed in a low warning tone while casting a glance at his son.

"It's not like I'm wrong," he said with conviction. A few silent moments passed and at first Jinora believed that was the end of it. How foolish of her. "Jinora's in love with a de-lin-queeent," Meelo sing songed under his breath.

"I'm surprised you even know what that word _means_," she muttered.

"Don't get big head because you're a college girl now, Sis," Meelo smirked, "you're still a nerd."

_**Ease yourself. **_She took a breath in and let it out slowly, expelling her agitation. If she could put up with Kai's snarky remarks, her own brother was no real bother. Just like Kai, he was only looking for the reaction. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Meelo blinked back at her in surprise, That wasn't the response he had expected. Usually she'd say something equally or more mocking in return. "Ugh," he grumbled, "college has made you _weird_."

"As much as I'd prefer not to say so, Meelo has a point," Tenzin told Jinora as he pulled the truck around a corner, "Not about you being weird. We _are_ worried about your safety with this man."

"I already told you, there were no charges against him for assault or violence of any kind. He's only fought in self defense, apparently he never even carried a weapon," Jinora droned as she looked to her father whose eyes were still on the road. She could see him press his bearded lips together before answering.

"Yes, you did say that but it's not our most immediate concern..." he broke off as he made a turn around a bend, "what we're worried about is your health. If you stress yourself too much over trying to keep your marriage to this man intact then it's only a matter of time before you take a great deal of damage to your spirit." Jinora was silent for a few moments before looking back up at her father.

"Wouldn't you do the same for mom?"

"Your mother doesn't see me as her enemy."

"But if she did, would you let that tear you apart?" At that Tenzin remained quiet. "Growing up, you told us that vows are what makes a marriage. If I go back on them, then they're just broken, empty promises and those can do far more damage to a spirit than any insults. I won't break my promises, no matter how much the world thinks I should. I wouldn't make them at all if I wasn't willing to make sacrifices for them. You wouldn't adopt another kid just to disown them would you? He's not my boyfriend Dad, he's my husband. He's just as much apart of this family as I am now."

"But... Jinora you hardly know this man..."

"Kai. And no, I don't know him..." she sighed, "but I will." A heavy silence filled the truck. The only sound to be heard was the rumble of the engine and the bumping of the wheels on the gravel and dirt.

"So..." Meelo spoke up to break the awkward silence, both his father and sister having almost forgotten he was there sitting between them, "who's up for some road songs?"

* * *

Back at the farm Kai had kept himself busy by exploring the vast acres of land. He did what he could to remain secluded and avoid the constant questions that Ikki would pelt at him as she followed him about like a turtle duckling convinced it was following it's mother. Clearly she had nothing better to do. While he was on his way back to the cabin he stopped when he heard the rumble of an engine gradually becoming louder as the old truck came back up the road. It stopped and he watched as the driver door swung open and Tenzin stepped out followed by Meelo and a tall man who appeared to be in his late twenties to early thirties with combed dark hair. A few more came out of the back along with Jinora. He could see two women, one with long, wavy dark hair and light skin, the other with short brown hair and a more tanned complexion. Along with them was yet another man who was shorter than the other but more robust. They all appeared to be at least around six or seven years older than Jinora.

"Kai! Come meet everyone!" Meelo called out when he noticed him standing off to the side.

At Meelo's beckoning he went stiff. He wasn't fond of the idea of going over and having to make first impressions on all the strangers that waited by the truck. His pride was what urged him forward. When he reached them, Jinora came to his side and introduced him much to his discomfort.

"Everyone this is my husband, Kai. Kai meet Asami," she began.

"We've met before," she told him, "you were unconscious."

"She was the one who drove us to the hospital," Jinora explained. "And this is Korra, Bolin, and Mako."

When Kai's eyes settled on the tall man he could see Mako's eyes were widened slightly and his face was pale. Unsure of what the guy's problem was, he redirected his attention to Korra who was sticking out a hand for him to shake. "Hey, nice to meet you Kai, how are you liking it here on the farm?"

"Ditto, and it could use a TV," he said while faking a good natured smile.

"Korra is a political activist for world peace, like my grandfather was. Asami is the head of Future Industries, Mako is a detective with the Republic City Police Department and Bolin is the coach for the Fire Ferrets at Republic City High School."

Now the look on Mako's face made sense to Kai. The corner of his mouth tugged back slightly into a devious smirk. Of course the detective must have recognized him and right now he must be dying to unmask Kai in front of everyone. Looking out of the corner of his eye, he was sure to let Mako see the small grin on his face. If anything it might only boost his growing anxiety until he couldn't keep his cool any longer. Catching this, Mako's features formed a scowl and his amber colored eyes shot accusing daggers at the younger man. Unaware of his brother's unease, Bolin grabbed Kai's hand and shook it excitedly.

"Jinora tells us you were on your own not too long ago, you're just like Mako and I...! Except we have family in Ba Sing Se that knows we exist now... but that's beside the point! I'm gonna call you my new little brother!" Bolin grinned broadly while placing an arm around Kai's shoulders. At this Kai stared at him and kept his mouth shut. What was with everyone wanting him to be their brother? And wasn't this man a bit excitable for someone who appeared to be in their mid to late twenties? Jinora told them he had been on his own..._ I wonder how much else she told them. She probably painted me as being like a poor, helpless orphan on the street and she was the angel who took pity on me then swooped in and made my life spectacular in the blink of an eye._

"Let's all go inside," Asami suggested, "it's getting really cold out here."

"What are you talking about?" Korra asked, "I think it's just fine."

"You grew up in the Water Tribe. Your standards for cold don't apply," Bolin answered.

The group went inside and continued the laughing and talking they had begun in Jia and carried on throughout the ride back. Bolin continuously brought the conversation to Kai who never had much to say. The whole time Kai could feel Mako's eyes dissecting him. It was starting to become a nuisance. After everyone had dinner, Ikki showed the guests where they'd be staying for the night. As she did Kai approached Jinora and spoke with clear reservations.

"How long are they going t'be here?" he asked.

"Just a couple days. Don't worry, it'll be fun."

"What is there t'do here that's fun? Just sitting around and talking about boring things that don't really matter?"

"You'll see. On a farm you can't just go to a mall or club or plug in a video game. If you want to have fun, you have to make it for yourself."

* * *

The next day wasn't as cold and though everyone wore jackets, the sun was shining and the frost had melted away. Certainly it was only a matter of time before the cold came back in full force, but for now they could enjoy the clear weather. Everyone headed to the bison stable and Jinora brought out bison for each of her friends to ride. One particular bull named Juicy was pacing in his stall with his tongue hanging out of his mouth as she placed the tack on the other animals.

"Sorry big guy, Opal isn't here this time," Bolin told the shaggy creature with a sympathetic frown, "she's with her family in Zau fu, but it's okay. She'll be here next time for sure."

Kai watched as Bolin talked to the bison. So far Mako had said nothing to him, but the older man made no attempt to veil the contempt in the looks he cast. While he was standing off to the side, Kai noticed Jinora bringing out one last bison. The large bull, Lefty.

"What are you doing, I thought you said he was skittish," he asked.

"Around most people, but when bison take to one person it takes a lot to get them nervous," she smiled, "and he's taken to you, so he's the one you'll be riding."

"I am _not _riding that thing," he said harshly under his breath.

"Lefty is going to look out for you, you don't have to be afraid of him."

"Who said I'm scared," he scoffed lightly, "I don't want t'ride it because it's big, hairy, smelly and lacks a certain brain power called logic."

"Imagine what you must look like to _him_," she smiled teasingly, "flat-faced, scrawny and bald. But he'd let you ride him anyway."

"That's where logic is supposed to come in," he snorted. As he did Lefty nuzzled his upper arm. The truth was that he _was _afraid to get on Lefty's back. The animal was strange and unpredictable to him. But there was no way he was going to let her see that. If he did she might try to get her friends to help her talk him into getting on and he'd have to just to get them to leave him alone. Then who knows what could happen if the bison suddenly decided he didn't like having a human on him. The idea of riding the bison did sound fun, but the thought of getting thrown off and getting trampled didn't.

"No, that's where _trust_ comes in," she told him but when she offered him Lefty's reins he stepped back.

"I'm not in," he told her before turning around and walking out the door.

"Where's he going?" Korra asked as she hopped onto the back of a female bison with one broken horn.

"He's not feeling up to it," Jinora reported though she couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice. While the others hitched up and headed out, Mako stopped and placed the bison he was borrowing back in the stall.

"Hey, Mako," Bolin addressed over his shoulder, "aren't you coming?"

"You go ahead, I got something I need to take care of. I'll be there in a minute. Don't wait up." Bolin shrugged and urged his mount forward after the girls. Turning around, Mako headed out the door and did a quick glance of the surrounding farmland. He spotted Kai leaning against a tree and biting into an apple he had taken from the kitchen. Mako's blood began to boil.

_Does Jinora even know what kind of person she's dealing with? No! Of course she doesn't! If she did she wouldn't have gotten involved with him in the first place! She's too smart for that, but she's young and idealistic so she'd be the perfect target for a creep like him. A few smooth words and she must have been putty in his hands. What kind of disillusioned fantasy did he give her to make her so blind? _With the conviction clear in his head he made his way over to Kai, doing his best to appear non-abrasive. As he did, Kai pretended not to notice him.

"Hey there," Mako greeted, struggling to keep the growl from his tone.

"Hey," Kai returned, looking up with a blank expression, "aren't you supposed to be riding the bison with everyone else?"

"I never got the chance to chat with you." His tone suggested a different intent. "You know, you seem very familiar."

"I get that a lot," Kai said nonchalantly.

"Your name is Kai right? Don't you have a last name?" he asked.

"Unless you're going to use it every time you talk to me I see no point in sharing it," he sighed.

"Does Jinora even know what it is?"

"Why don't you go ask her?" A small smiled played on Kai's lips.

"I'd assume she does, but I'm not going to push her for it," Mako told him while feeling his hands ball into fists. "I know who you are."

"How long did it take for you to figure it out mister _detective_?" Mako grit his teeth. This guy wasn't even _trying_ to pretend that he was a good guy. Of course if he only revealed what he was really like to one person then no one would believe him.

"As soon as I found out Jinora married a total stranger I _knew_ something was up," he glared coldly at Kai, "Jinora is a smart girl. I don't know how you managed to get her to fall for delusional charms but I know you didn't reel her in by being a genuine and nice guy."

"So what are you gonna do about it?" Kai taunted. He might have lied to Mako and tried to play innocent if he had something to gain from it but in this case there was nothing that interested him and seeing the cop so creased was entertaining.

"I'll tell her the truth! As soon as she sees what you're really like there's no way she'll stay with you. It'll break her heart, but she needs to know the truth!"

"Go ahead," he slumped casually against the tree's trunk and rested his hands behind his head, appearing totally relaxed, "nothings' holding you back." Mako wanted to yell at this man but he knew it would do no good. He was just toying with her like a cat with a canary-mouse. How much entertainment did he get from playing with Jinora's affections? And after he got tired of it no doubt he would leave her broken hearted and disillusioned. That's what people like Kai did. Fooling others was how they made their living and got whatever they wanted. He would know. Kai didn't even care if Mako told Jinora the truth. Or did the criminal think he was bluffing, thinking he didn't have the guts to tell her the honest truth?

"I will! I'll tell her right now!" Mako said with growing anger. Kai remained stone faced, completely unmoved. "Forget it. I can see you don't care. You don't care about anyone but yourself do you? She deserves so much more than a selfish creep like _you_." At that Kai felt himself becoming angry. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason those words triggered a reaction in him. He didn't allow it to show, not wanting Mako to know that he had managed to get on a nerve.

"Then quit wasting your time here and go tell her, you know where she is don't you?" He suggested with disinterest. Mako chose to turn and leave before Kai's indifference could provoke him to do something that would likely get him into trouble.

_The nerve of that guy! Even when I was on the streets I was never that full of myself! I couldn't be, I had a little brother to look after! But this jerk only cares about himself! When I find Jinora I'm telling her everything! And he'll be out of here and back where people like him belong! Maybe it's not too late to get the marriage annulled! There are plenty of men who could love her like she deserves! If anyone has proven they don't need a partner to be happy anyway, it's Jinora, _He mentally ranted to himself. He took the bison that he had left in the stable and gave her the signal to run out on the trail after the others. He reached them after fifteen minutes of following the path at trotting speed. When he reached them no one seemed to notice his aggravation. Making his way to the front where Jinora was, he was about to tell her but suddenly lost his fire when he saw the bright smile on her face.

In the past years she had become something like a younger sister to him through Korra. She looked so happy. What would happen to that happiness if he came up to her and told her the truth? What if she didn't accept the truth and thought he was making it up for some paranoid reason? If she married him she must have trusted him. What if she trusted him more than she did Mako? Tightly gripping the reins in his hands, he remembered that look on Kai's face. Total indifference. Not an ounce of care or concern for anyone besides himself. At the memory, his fire returned and he rode up alongside her while everyone was taking a quick break so Bolin could go behind some trees.

"Jinora, I gotta tell you something," he told her low so no one would be curious and listen in.

"What is it?" she asked as she turned to him curiously.

"It's about your _husband_..." he said the last word with venom.

"I don't want to hear it," she told him as she turned her head away. She could hear the aggression in his words and didn't want to listen to anything he had to say if it was with that approach.

"Jinora you need to know the truth about him," he said quietly but urgently, "he's not who you think he is. He's a criminal that the police had been after for months but-"

"I know."

"...What?"

"I said I know," she repeated, her voice raising to almost normal volumes. Although she should be glad that Asami hadn't said anything to him she couldn't help but wonder if knowing ahead of time might have allowed her friends to prepare themselves for Kai, "and I know he doesn't think very highly of me."

"And... and you _married _him?!" Mako asked with shock and disbelief, "why would you do that? He's no good. He's just waiting to-"

"What did you say to him?"

"Huh?"

"What did you tell Kai?" Jinora asked while looking at him pointedly.

"Nothing that meant anything to him. He doesn't _feel_ anything! He's completely cut off! Words don't mean anything to him! Nothing does! Jinora, you could do so much better than him..."

"Is that what you told him?" Jinora asked, eyes widened and brows knitted together in anger.

"Does it matter?"

"Mako, I don't want you speaking to him again. Understand?" She spoke with authority that he never would have expected from her. Her siblings had often referred to her as bossy but it had been difficult for him to imagine since she had never taken up that position with him or their friends.

"Jinora, I'm just trying to warn you! I've dealt with goons like him before! He'll eat you alive, you gotta trust me...!"

"That's enough!" she snapped though she was careful to keep her voice down, "I don't want you talking to him again. Got it?" He studied her for a moment and could see she was gravely serious. Staring back at her with some surprise he let out a sigh in resignation.

"Fine... I won't talk to 'em," he mumbled and set himself back straight on the bison. What was wrong with her? Didn't she know he was only using her? What would it take to get her to open her eyes? Whatever her reason, she'd have to wake up sooner or later. Hopefully it would be the former. The sooner she saw the truth, the sooner that life sucking leech would be out of there. The group soon continued their ride and were out until late afternoon. Dinner was served at the farm house and Kai was no where to be found. Jinora excused herself to look for him. She checked the barn, the stable, and multiple other locations until she finally came back to the cabin and found him looking through the pantry. When she entered he hadn't even turned around to acknowledge her.

"Why don't you come eat with the rest of us? There's still room for one more."

"No thanks, I can make something myself," he told her dryly, with his back still toward her. He heard her footsteps coming closer then her hand rested lightly on his shoulder.

"Mako had no right to talk to you the way he did," she said with sympathy. She could feel Kai's muscles become tense as she said it. Shrugging her off, he kept his focus on what he was doing.

"Do you actually think I care what he thinks of me?" he asked with a deriding laugh.

"You don't have to care what he _thinks_ for the audible words to hurt."

"I can appreciate the concern Miss, but I'm fine," he covered though she caught on to his aggravation.

_He still thinks of me as a stranger. How can I possibly get him to open up to me when he doesn't believe he can trust me? What do I have to do to make him see that I'm on his side? _She wondered to herself, feeling as though she had hit a dead end. After thinking for a moment she spoke up, "if you're choosing to eat in here then so am I."

"Don't you have friends that'll be a little upset that you ditched them for a guy?" he asked while tossing her a critical look.

"Not just any guy, my husband. You're my first priority," she pointed out.

"When the angry mob comes don't say I didn't warn you and don't expect me t'stand up for you either," he snorted. His words smarted, but Jinora gave a nod in acceptance.

"I wouldn't ask you to," she told him.

"Nobody ever does, but they still get disappointed when it doesn't happen," he half looked over his shoulder at her, "I'm right, aren't I." It wasn't a question.

"I would be more disappointed if you told me you would and then didn't... thank you for being honest with me." His brows raised slightly while his back was turned though he didn't look at her. He just told her he _wasn't _going to do something for her and she said 'thank you' of all things. She was a strange one, a conclusion that he had drawn for what was perhaps the hundredth time. For the next half hour she guided him in preparing a dish of noodles mixed with steamed vegetables, pointing out a useful spice or tossing in an ingredient that wasn't part of the recipe but she knew would add more flavor. When they sat down Kai once again went to sit on the couch while she was at the table. While he ate, he glanced up but wished that he hadn't. Though Jinora wasn't looking at him, he could see what he suspected to be loneliness written on her pensive expression. He felt a sort of heaviness come over him and looked away hoping the feeling would disappear, but it didn't. _I didn't make her stay here, _he thought with dismissal, _it was her own choice. She could be in the farm house laughing and talking with her friends but if she'd rather be stuck here and stare off into space that's up to her._ Then why did that heaviness refuse to go away?

"What's your happiest memory?"

"What?" Kai asked and looked up at her with noodles still hanging from his lips.

"The memory that makes you the happiest... what is it?" she asked from the table. He sucked in the noodles and swallowed as he tried to think. The question was certainly out of nowhere as far as he was aware. There weren't any recent memories that were all that happy for him and he wasn't sure why she even bothered to ask. It was something he hadn't thought about in a long time. Of course it didn't matter anyway. As soon as he was finished telling her she'd just start on her own story. That was the only reason people really asked questions like that anyway. So they could bring it back to themselves and make themselves sound more interesting.

"There isn't a lot t'choose from."

"So you don't have to be incredibly picky."

"...Probably the time I caught a squirrel-frog and it got out in the foster home I lived in at the time..." he shrugged but smiled faintly at the memory. Kai was then ready to zone out while she told a story about herself.

"Tell me more." Yet again, Kai was taken off guard by her request. Looking up he could see a small, curious smile growing on her face. Unsure, he continued.

"I found a little squirrel-frog at the pond behind the house and sneaked it inside so I could keep it as a pet. One of the other boys was looking around and found the box I kept it in and let it out. The grownups scrambled t'catch it while the rest of us bust our guts laughing. It was a madhouse." He heard her chuckle softly at the description.

"I don't suppose they let you keep it."

"No, but it was fun while I had it."

"What else do you remember?" she asked. Kai regarded her with vague astonishment. Not sure what she was trying to do, he hesitated before adding on.

"In another home I was in there was a tree house with a rope swing. We used t'play all sorts of games in it. I was always the pirate captain that commanded the crew. We had a toy lizard-parrot, talked like pirates, I even wore an eye patch and a bandanna. We would split up into teams and chase each other with toy swords while trying t'steal each other's loot. Whoever lost had to walk the plank, which was actually the diving board into the pool, while the winners got t'have the losers' share of desserts after dinner that night. My team won almost every time."

"That sounds like so much fun," she smiled broadly at him and he drew himself back. He hadn't realized until right then that he was revealing a part of his past that hardly anyone knew about.

"Yeah, well... it was kid stuff. I had t'grow up just like everyone else," he threw in, ending on a negative note, "those games are over and done for. They have been for a long time." Those days had ended after he was caught stealing from his fosters' neighbors and had to be moved again. That place had been the closest thing to a real home that he had ever known. The memories of being told he couldn't come back flooded him with a deep ache. Shoving down the feelings, he displayed only a cold, detached look. "No point in dwelling on the past."

"There is if it gives you hope for the future," Jinora replied as she took her bowl and his to clear them. Hope? What kind of hope could she possibly get from a memory of boys playing pirates? Deciding that he was prepared to turn in, Kai stood and climbed up to the loft. He undressed and pulled the covers to his shoulder while he listened to the sound of the running sink water. It occurred to him that he could have stayed to help her with the dishes, but as it was she was already getting too close for comfort. After a half hour or so, he heard the door open then shut as she walked outside. No doubt she was going back to explain her absence to her friends and relatives.

While he laid waiting, his thoughts drifted back to that old foster home and the people he had known there. He had made good friends that he would never see or hear from again. He was taken care of by perhaps the nicest foster couple he had stayed with. They had been a bit on the elderly side and were more like grand parents than most fosters. Back then, he had been so sure he'd finally found a place to call home. That was until his old habits kicked in. Then of course his foster family didn't want to be responsible for the criminal prodigy so they shipped him off to the next place. As the memories returned, Kai felt all the same things he had felt then bubbling back to the surface. The feelings of betrayal, hurt and loneliness. The self hatred he had for costing himself all the happiness he had found there. All those feelings and not a person in the world there to tell him that he would be alright. He had to tell himself things like that or no one would. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to push the memories and all the pain they caused away but they circled him like vulture-wasps, stinging and pecking at any weak spot they could find. His headache from before returned and chewed at the back of his skull. Part of him wished Jinora would hurry and come back so she could take his mind off of those cruel, faded images. When she finally did return she came back to the loft and slid out of her turtleneck and jeans then into her yellow cotton, button-down pajamas. He could sense her moving in next to him and felt his nerves begin to ease but only slightly. Closing his eyes, he tried to start on what he knew would be another long night.

As for Jinora, she laid on her back and watched the rise and fall of his breathing. There was a part of her that wanted to shift closer and lay herself against him, but she knew that if she did she might very well be tempted to do more. _"I'm all yours." _His enticing words echoed in her thoughts. If she wanted to, she could have him right then and there and he'd be perfectly fine doing it. And she did want to. It was difficult being so close to him each night with the scent of him filling and dizzying her senses. She longed to be closer to him, to complete the circle that would make them one. But it was too soon. Their marriage to him was still just a glorified prison, a chain meant to hold him in bondage rather than a lifeline to keep him safe. If it was to be what it was meant to be then she had to be more to him than a warden or even a loving and committed significant other. She had to be his _wife _in his eyes and nothing less. He had to understand that it was because they belonged to each other and not in the way he believed they did. Only then would he understand that she had given herself completely, exclusively and permanently to him. He had to know how much it meant to her. She chose to clear her mind and meditate until she fell asleep as well. Tomorrow would be a new day.

* * *

After a few days of helping the family to harvest their crops, their friends packed their things and left. The visit was enjoyable but they had their lives to get back to. Weeks came and went with little change. Whenever Kai wasn't with Jinora or working on chores he was usually exploring the land. There wan't much to see, mostly trees and rocks but at least it wasn't crowded. The clouds covered the sky turning it to a somber grey and a morning came that everyone woke to find snow falling down on the farm. The white flurries came in thick showers and it wasn't long before everything was blanketed under a deep sheet of snow. In the light of the day the surface of the snow glittered. For Jinora it was another reason to be glad about coming home, the snow in the city was usually trodden on and dirty, but out in the open it was like an ocean of shimmering white powder. When she pointed it out to Kai he had seemed indifferent but even she could see the way he was beginning to take in his surroundings with admiration despite his complaints about the cold.

Ikki, Meelo and Rohan were outside having a snowball fight when he came out of the farm house. He had just been helping Tenzin store away some firewood that would keep the living room toasty warm for the night. As he was making his way back to the cabin he felt a smack of snow against his shoulder then the splatter of it across his neck causing a cold chill to slither down his spine. Turning around with surprise he saw Meelo and Rohan staring back at him with Meelo pointing a blame casting finger at his little brother. Ikki was looking on, pursing her lips together in amusement.

"Uh..." Rohan smiled sheepishly, "you wanna play?"

He wasn't sure how to respond. He hadn't played in snow since he was a kid and never felt compelled to ask if he could join in. It was just a bunch of cold, semi-solid water right? But with the snow there was less work to do, the pathways had already been shoveled, he was bored and it _did_ look like fun... After debating with himself for a moment Kai looked up and shrugged one shoulder with a small tilt of his head. "Sure."

"Then grab some snow and take cover!" Meelo hollered before pelting another snowball at Ikki then diving behind a tree. Rohan followed suit. Grabbing a handful of snow, Kai formed a snowball of his own and shielded himself behind the door of a shed.

"Hey! No fair!" Ikki cried, "That's three against one! One of you has to be on my team!"

"No!" Meelo called back, "we have sworn a sacred oath to brotherhood. Our loyalties cannot be swayed!"

"We never swore an oath," Rohan told him as he got up and pushed through the snow to get to his sister's cover spot, "I'll be on her side if you won't."

"Traitor!" the older brother yelled after him before throwing a snowball at the ten year old's back which ended in a narrow miss. Kai had to make an effort to keep himself from smiling at Meelo's over the top reaction.

"Hey Meelo," he addressed. When the teenager turned around he was met with a snowball shattering against his forehead. From off to the side he could hear Ikki and Rohan exploding into laughter at the startled look on Meelo's face. At that Kai could no longer hide his own crooked grin.

"Brotherhood means _nothing_ anymore," Meelo said in a low, gruff voice while glaring at nothing in particular.

With another toss from Ikki, the war was waged. Kai managed to duck a snowball from Rohan only to be hit with one by Meelo who declared that he had been avenged. The game continued for what felt like minutes but had actually been nearly an hour. While they played, Jinora had come out of the farm house along with Pema and they watched as the four fought their battle. She felt a deep joy filling her heart as she saw Kai smiling and laughing in the game, completely unaware of her presence. Nothing could take her own smile from her at that moment. It was the first time she had actually seen him happy. When he raised his head and caught a glimpse of her with her mother, the smile vanished from him like a startled cat-deer disappearing between the forest trees. Suddenly the lightness in his heart escaped him and left him feeling bereft and weighed down. She reminded him of where he was and why he was there along with the other things he had momentarily managed to forget.

"Okay, I think I'm done," he alerted the other three.

"Yeah, I'm with Kai," Ikki agreed, "we've been out here for a while, I think it's time to go inside."

"Aw come on!" Meelo groaned, "just one more round!"

"I still wanna play!" Rohan exclaimed.

"Then you keep going," Kai offered, "I'm goin' back inside." Without another word he headed for the front porch and walked past Jinora to go in the door, not looking up to meet her eyes. Once inside he shed his thick, rust red coat and sat down on a sofa by the fireplace. He stayed there and skimmed through the pictures of the magazines they had in a small rack by the arm of a chair until dinner. When they all ate together he didn't feel quite as awkward as he had before. However as they ate he made no conversation. Jinora seemed respectful of his need for space as she hadn't said a word to him.

_What am I doing? I'm not staying here. The last thing I should be doing is getting used to these people,_ he thought to himself with frustration. These were the kind of people that used to mark him as an outcast and turn their backs on him. It was people that lived like this that shot him dirty looks and kept walking when they didn't even know his name. How could he really expect these people to be different? He was just a temporary guest. He still didn't belong there. He still had his plans on leaving and he was set on making those plans a reality. The full moon was out as they walked to the cabin that night. Kai tried to ignore Jinora though she said nothing to him. When they came to the cabin she reached for his hand but the moment her fingers brushed against his, he sharply pulled his own hand away. The action was unexpected and when she looked up at him, he kept his head turned away.

_I was hoping that things were getting better but it seems like it's one step forward and three steps back._

**_Would he pull away if he felt nothing?_**

_No... I guess not, but that isn't the kind of feeling I was hoping he would get... it's the exact opposite..._

**_What is he feeling?_**

_...I don't really know._

**_There is a time and place._** Not knowing what that was supposed to mean, Jinora looked at him. "Kai, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. I'm fine," he replied flatly and turned his back to her as he moved to hang his coat on a rack by the closet.

_He's stonewalling me again, what do I do? _Jinora moved closer to him and set a hand on his shoulder. She could feel him become tense under her touch. "Please, don't shut me out. Tell me what's the matter."

"_Why?_" he asked with bite, "So you can try t'make me feel good again? Or feel sorry for me and tell me it gets better? Thanks but no thanks, I don't need your pity."

"I'm your_ wife_, Kai," she reminded him, "I'm here for you because I love you and I don't want you to suffer alone."

"Right, 'love me'," he said scornfully, "like that actually means anything."

"It does! Why do you think I married you?" she asked.

"Because you were lonely so you fell head over heels for the guy who saved your life. You don't love me, you just love what I did for you. Just like everyone else."

"That wouldn't be a reason to promise my life to you." At that Kai scoffed.

"Promise your life t'me? Don't you mean get _me_ t'promise_ my_ life t'_you_? People don't get married for the sake of others, okay. They do it t'fulfill their own wishes and desires and if the other person doesn't live up to it they get satisfaction somewhere else. Do you know how many married girls I've been with? They all said the same thing in different ways, 'My husband doesn't understand me', 'I needed a taste of something different', 'My husband is cheating on me so why can't I do the same?' 'It didn't work out between us because he was too thoughtless'. If you expect me to be any better than their 'fellas' then you're gonna be just as sorely disappointed."

"I'm not like those women, Kai." Jinora tried not to show the boiling in her blood at the mention of them. Why couldn't he leave those things in the past?

"What makes you different?" he looked directly at her accusingly.

"The difference is that I love you!"

"Oh sure you do. You know what? I'm sick and tired of hearing those words!" He chuckled dryly, " 'Kai, I_ love_ you!' 'Kai, you're my _soulmate_!' 'I _need_ you, Kai!' 'Say you need me too!' 'Say you love me!' 'Tell me what hurts so I can make it better!' 'I'm here for you!' 'You're one of a kind!' 'I'm all yours! You're my one and only!' 'You're special!' 'Let's work through our problems!' 'You're my dream come true!' 'You don't have to prove anything t'me!' 'I'll love you forever!' It's all _meaningless_! People say those things when you give them what they want so you'll keep giving it to them until they get bored or displeased with you and you have nothing left to give! If they want my body, they can have it! I don't care anymore! I use them as much as they use me so we're even and nobody gets hurt! Nobody regrets anything! I lie about a lot of things but I don't bother hiding that! I am _done_ with letting them have pieces of me. I'm _sick_ of being thrown aside when a better offer comes around! I'm _sick_ of being told I'm truly loved when there's no such thing! And I am already _sick_ of _you_ trying to tell me that you're _different_! Because guess what; I've heard that more than a few times too! Everyone is exactly alike, they see something they like and they want t'own it, then they throw it away when it doesn't make them happy anymore or a better model is put on the shelves."

"You're not an object on a shelf Kai, you're a person... and I'm not looking for your favors or just a piece of you... I want everything... the good and the bad! Even if it hurts, I want it!" she told him as she could feel pressure building under her eyes and her heart breaking.

"Really?" he snarled, "how do you even know? You don't know the worst things about me and you never will!"

"Because the worst of you doesn't matter! This is what I'm giving on my own, and I'm not going to stop. Whether you do the same or not!"

"Well I _won't_! So you're out of luck! I'm not spending the rest of my life on this backwater farm with you and you can't make me!" he snapped.

Not a single beat had passed before Kai whipped around and stormed out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Fuming, a series of outraged thoughts raced through his head until he came to the edge of the creek. Stopping he clenched his fists until his nails bit his palms. Looking down at one of them without thinking, he yanked off the ring and grasped it tightly in his hand before chucking it into the water, watching as it went in with a plunk. He stood furiously breathing heavily until the realization of what he had done dawned on him, causing his anger to evaporate and his eyes to go wide in horror.

_Oh no... no, no, no! I can't throw that away! It belonged to her granddad!_ he thought before rushing into the icy water, leaning over, scanning and searching desperately for the golden band. Frantically shoving aside small rocks on the creek bed, he caught sight of a faint gleam in the sand several feet in away from him. Moving deeper, he reached his arm down until the water lapped at his ear. After a moment of fishing he let out a sigh of relief as he pulled it back to the surface. Wet and shivering, he returned to the bank, leaned against a tree, and stared at the ring he held between his thumbs and fore-fingers.

**It's just a little piece of cheap jewelry,** a voice came from deep inside, **was it really worth diving in after it like a starving animal after a scrap of meat?**

After pausing for a moment to consider the thought, he chose not to listen and pushed the ring back onto his finger. He couldn't understand himself. He had done far worse things than throwing a deceased man's wedding ring in a creek without remorse, yet for some reason he had felt compelled to rescue the simple object from bitterly cold water. With the cold shooting right to his bones and numbing his skin he went back to the cabin. Maybe now that his frustrations had been let out he wouldn't mind being around Jinora as much. When he came back inside she was nowhere to be seen. After putting on some dry clothes he checked the loft but it was empty. Confused he headed outside to look for her. He searched in several places where he would see her dwelling during the day but she remained undiscovered. Finally he came to the stable and peeked inside. He could hear the sound of gentle gasps.

He could see her with her forehead pressed to the head of her bison as tears were falling from her eyes and she choked on soft sobs. Pepper licked her cheek and she hugged the animal's neck. His heart sank and he suddenly found himself wishing the earth below his feet would give way and swallow him out of existence. She hadn't ever done anything to hurt him, but he had managed to bring her to the point where she had to run off and be alone to weep. Backing away quietly, he hung his head in shame as he silently returned to the cabin. Once he was undressed and under the blankets, he curled up and tried to force his guilty feelings away.

_She saw this coming. I know she did. It's not my fault she wants something from me that I can't give. This is what happens when you try to force yourself into someone else's life. Mako was right about me. Maybe now she finally sees it. Maybe now she'll let me go. _After around forty five minutes, he heard her come in and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep after having managed to chase the miserable feelings away.

While she changed into her nightgown, Jinora glanced at Kai who seemed to be sleeping soundly. There was a profound heaviness in her chest as she looked at him. She had meditated and he was right about some things. Indeed she did have wishes and desires that she knew he couldn't meet, and she did want him to love her in return but it seemed like a far fetched, whimsical wish at that point. It didn't surprise her when he had said the words he did, but it did still work in cutting her. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and dispelled the feelings of resentment and anger in her heart. Though the bitterness was gone, the pain lingered albeit weaker than before. She crawled into the bed and laid down beside him. Despite the hurt she was feeling, Jinora stroked the back of her fingers over his upper arm then leaned over to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Goodnight, I love you," she whispered before laying her head on the pillow and shutting her eyes. As she did Kai felt a painful twist in his stomach and screwed his eyes shut against the pain. When the wave passed he opened his eyes and stared into the blank darkness of the room around them.

_I'll make it up to her. I'll fix this before I go. Once I'm gone it'll be easier for both her and me._

That night Kai had a dream, but not like the nightmares he had been having for years. He saw a woman standing out in the middle of a vast desert. He recognized her. It was Jinora. All around her was lifeless ground that was cracked and bone dry under the heat of the sun. In her hand was a small seed. Kneeling down and clearing away some of the dirt she set the seed down and covered it. From her eyes tears slicked sown her cheek and fell onto the tiny mount of dirt. A small green, leafy stem began to spring upward. It slowly began to grow into a mighty tree that reached toward the blue sky and covered with lush, green leaves and sweet fruit hanging from the branches. A beautiful and life giving thing in the midst of a bleak and barren wasteland.


	7. Words of Wisdom

"_Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."_

_-Mr. Rogers_

* * *

When morning came Jinora's eyes fluttered open and she could see the place next to her in the bed was empty where Kai usually slept in. Closing her eyes she took let out a vexed breath before getting up to get dressed. _I get it. He ran away again. Well I'm not going after him this time. If he really thinks life back at that club of his is so much better then let him go back. I don't need a husband anyway. I was just fine on my own and I'll be fine now that he's gone. I'm done! He doesn't care so why should I? I'm just another face in the crowd to him, so what's the point?_

Despite her own anger Jinora knew that thinking like Mako wouldn't bring her any peace. She made vows and she fully intended to keep them. Pulling on her jacket she headed out prepared to find him and give him a piece of her mind. The snow had mostly melted overnight and only a few patches remained scattered across the ground. When she came out of the cabin she heard a heavy thumping sound to her left and turned to see Kai chopping wood with sweat beading his forehead. Jinora's negative feelings diminished and left her feeling awkwardly guilty for jumping to conclusions so quickly rather than giving the benefit of the doubt. She noticed the stack of wood at his feet was already enough to last them half the winter.

"How long have you been up?" she asked. Looking up he stopped the ax in his hand and dropped the end of it to the ground.

"Uh... well... long enough to get plenty of work done..."

"I can see that," she spoke with some discomfort as she could see his fatigue, "have you been doing this since you got up?"

"Not exactly... I also fed and brushed the bison, finished fixing that broken barn door, and checked your mom's garden for weeds..."

"But there's nothing growing this time of year."

"I figured that out."

"Those were _my_ chores, and you got them all done in one morning?" Jinora asked with a mix of surprise and concern. "Or should I say one night since the sun is barely up?"

"I figured that you deserved a day off," he told her while trying to avoid her eyes. Was this his way of apologizing? Did he feel like he had to make a great effort to show remorse?

"Kai, if this is about last night then please put it down, I've already forgiven you," she said as she moved closer. He looked up at her but there was no understanding in his expression. "At least now you're looking _at_ me instead of _through_ me, but I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was pushing too hard when you weren't in the mood to talk."

"You didn't do anything wrong," he said coolly. His expression was stiff, showing little to no emotion, completely blank. If he was feeling anything under that hard exterior there was no way she'd be able to recognize it.

"I beg to differ," she sighed while staring at the ground. Looking up again she saw he was preparing to take another swing at the wood. "I think you've made enough. I'm pretty sure there's surplus in that stack already. Come on, we can still get to the house in time to help my mom with breakfast." Kai stopped and looked down at the collection of wood he had managed to build while taking a moment to think. Finally he set down the ax down, leaning it against the tree stump before Jinora took his hand to take him back toward the farm house. As it was before, his hand hung loosely in hers with the same limpness it had in the beginning.

_I'm trying, _she thought to herself with grief, _I'm really trying..._

_**Trust that your effort is not in vain.**_

While they had breakfast Tenzin had somehow managed success in being able to hold a semi long conversation with Kai which Jinora saw as progress. Her father spoke to him about how in the upcoming summer he would be opening a stand in the farmer's market in Jia. It was a wonderful opportunity to meet some of the locals and get a taste of some fresh, organic foods and how he believed the younger man would enjoy it. She could tell that Kai wasn't really giving the whole thing a lot of thought. In one instance Kai had referred to the bison as 'bisons' and brushed off Tenzin's correction of his grammar. He seemed too distracted to really be thinking about it. After breakfast everyone put on their coats and went outside. Jinora and her siblings worked to set up a ring of four foot tall wooden walls. Kai watched with confused curiosity though he didn't approach to ask what it was for. Instead he simply turned to Pema hoping for an explanation but she didn't seem to notice him as she walked by. After the ring was finished Jinora came over to him and gestured toward the stable.

"Come help me get the bison, we need two of them out," she told him.

"What for? What's going on?" he finally asked.

"Our neighbors are coming over tonight and we plan to have a little fun. My grandmother, aunt and uncle are going to be there too. Uncle Bumi actually lives right over in Jia while Aunt Kya and Gran-gran are coming from the South Pole."

"Just how often do you guys _have_ guests?" Didn't these people value their privacy?

"Not often enough, we're celebrating the winter solstice," she gave him what looked like a smile though it was so small he could hardly tell. "There'll be games, food and a little dancing."

"In the middle of winter," Kai pointed out with cynicism laced in his tone, "when it's freezing cold, and last minute?"

"The invites were sent before we got back. Most of it will be in the barn and there will be a bonfire outside." Her smile grew a little. "The kids are going to ride the bison when they're not playing ball in the pit so we'll be getting two of some of our older, more experienced bison to let them ride."

"You're gonna let little kids ride those things? And you're not scared of their parents suing you if something goes wrong?"

"No, of course not," she said with a small chuckle, "they know us and we know them. They know these bison would never intentionally hurt anyone."

"Do the bisons even _need_ the intention?" he asked as he moved to join her while she headed toward the stable.

"When they know better, yes," she said and began walking alongside him, "I've been around bison my whole life, I can't predict their every move but I can recognize one that may be trouble and one that won't be... an example is Lefty. With anyone else he might be a little trouble but he seems pretty fond of you."

"Universe knows why," Kai muttered.

"Whatever the reason, I think he'd actually be the safest for you to ride," she told him as they reached the stable. After putting tack on Oogi and Blueberry she began to saddle up Pepper. Saddling the bison was no easy task. The saddles were heavy and the bisons' backs were high off the ground. To get the saddles onto the animals' backs they had to stand on a metal platform that stood on wheels and required brakes to be held in place.

"I thought you only needed two."

"We do, but I'm going for a ride and I'd like you to come with me," she told him while coming down from the platform then crossing her arms over her chest with a neutral expression as she stood before him.

"On Lefty?" he asked though he already knew the answer. She gave a nod. "I already told you, I'm not getting on that thing."

"Just one time," she raised her brows with a look of insistence, "after that I won't say a word on the topic again." He looked over to the stall that held the bull bison and saw Lefty staring back at him with those large brown eyes. If he didn't know any better he could have sworn the bison was pleading with him. The last thing he wanted to do was give in. It might encourage Jinora to make further nudges later down the road. **What will it matter? You won't be around long enough. **

"Kai?" she asked. He had been silent for a few moments and she knew he was thinking or just being stubborn but was determined to get an answer.

"You won't give up until I do will you?" he sighed.

"You're learning," she smiled faintly.

_It's just one ride. If I turn this down she'll think I'm paranoid... _Normally he wouldn't give much thought to what people thought of him but if he was going to be stuck there he might as well do something to make his time easier such as not giving anyone anything to taunt him about. "Fine." He expected a triumphant grin but she only tilted her head toward Lefty's stall.

"Then come on, let's get a saddle on him." She took a large, heavy saddle in her arms and carried it over to the stall at the end. He followed her and took the saddle while she opened the door and lead Lefty out. Kai had seen those TV clip shows that showed home videos of people being thrown off animals and ending up in the emergency room for all sorts of injuries that maimed and nearly killed them. The last thing he wanted was to be back in that humiliating position of dependency, but it was probably better than the sure embarrassment of looking like a coward. After they had the saddle on, she showed him on how to mount and stood back as he did so. Jinora was also sure to give him instructions on the different ways to stop and steer Lefty.

Once Kai was on the back of the bison he waited for a moment and let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He was still in one piece. Looking down he got a sense of just how large the bison was as the ground was around seven to eight feet below the stirrups. Watching as Jinora mounted Pepper by climbing up the makeshift rope ladder that hung from the side of the saddle. She pulled it up and with a hold of the reins of the other two bison she looked back as he maintained his appearance of indifference.

"You doing okay?"

"Told you I wasn't scared," he shrugged casually.

"You did. Pepper, yip, yip," Jinora ordered and gave her bison's reins a flick. At the command Pepper turned and began to walk toward the stable door with Jinora on her back and the other two followed at the side. Carefully Kai pulled on Lefty's reins.

"Yip, yip," he repeated with hesitance in his voice. With a sound that was like a mix between a groan and a grunt Lefty began to move forward. Kai held tight as he was rocked and swayed by the motion of Lefty's steps. After they had covered a few yards he courageously made a move to turn the beast after Jinora and Pepper. Without protest, Lefty followed his lead. _This isn't so bad_, he thought to himself as he adjusted to the constant swinging movement of Lefty's gait, _I don't even remember what I was so worried about._

After Oogi and Blueberry were delivered to the house where Ikki and Rohan took them, Jinora led Pepper off toward the same dirt trail she had taken her friends on just a week before. Kai followed some distance behind on Lefty. As they went down the trail they were soon surrounded by conifer trees and bare shrubs. The visible steam of their own and the bisons' breaths puffed into the chilly air. Apart from the hooves on the ground and the thick breathing of the mammoth animals there were hardly any sounds. The silence was strange and unsettling to Kai yet when he glanced at Jinora she didn't seem bothered by it. Her focus was directed at the woods as though she were looking for something. Questions bombarded his mind but he kept himself quiet. Whatever the answers were he would figure them out on his own.

Jinora peered at Kai through the corner of her eye. He didn't appear to be enjoying himself though he didn't look entirely discontent either. As she looked at him she could feel doubts beginning to circle in her thoughts. _I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I don't even know where to start... how can I be positive about this? _Had she really seen him smile and laugh the day before? Was it just her imagination? At the moment it seemed like it had been a hopeful daydream that was chased away by a harsh reality. The whole thing felt like one big dead end just like Kai seemed to believe it was. Looking toward the sky she thought to herself,_ if the universe can hear me, I could really use some help._ Almost as quickly as she thought the words, she felt an inexplicable urge to get Pepper to gallop ahead. It seemed like hardly the time or place, and Kai was already unsteady on his own bison as it was. The idea itself seemed ridiculous to her.

_**How did you find him smiling? **_The whisper asked.

_He was playing with-... he was having fun_, with some new clarity a tiny grin began to blossom. Maybe she couldn't get him to join in, but at least she could take the silence out of the air. "Pepper, yip, yip!" She gave her bison another quick flick of the reins and in two seconds flat the bison was charging ahead down the trail. Kai's head snapped up with eyes widened in surprise as she rushed forward though she hadn't noticed. Trees were flying by and the bumpy ride made her physically uncomfortable but the rush of the wind in her face, the mighty bison pulling her along and the racing heart in her chest never failed to thrill her. A bright and excited laugh escaped her throat and she had a smile as wide as it could go. By the time she brought Pepper to a stop, they were in a clearing and some distance ahead of the boys. They took the moment to wait while catching their breaths. Leaning forward, Jinora gave Pepper a scratch behind one ear, "Good girl." When Kai and Lefty appeared through the trees the former was unsettled and obviously trying to hide it.

"What was that all about?" he asked when they managed to catch up.

"What, that? I was just having a little fun," she shrugged.

"You call that fun, I call it crazy," he raised his brows for emphasis on crazy.

"Because you don't trust your bison," Jinora's expression fell to a small, sympathetic half smile. _That didn't work so great..._

_**You're talking now aren't you?**_

"Trust is for people who don't know any better," he frowned, "it doesn't do any good and it just blinds people t'what could happen t'them. It's not smart."

"You don't think marrying you was a smart move on my part do you," she answered but it wasn't a question.

"Smart would have been running when you had the chance to and not looking back," he replied, "that's what I would've done."

"I know, it's what most people would do," she sighed, "it's what I would have done too, if I didn't believe I was there for a reason." Jinora turned Pepper to walk alongside Lefty as they spoke.

"You think it was destiny that landed you in a bad spot?" he asked skeptically, "I thought you were the smart one, but that's lacking in common sense."

"That's what they tell me," she breathed out, "but I'm still here and I'm still alive and look, I got a husband out of it."

"Hoo-rah," he remarked flatly. _Wow. He almost makes Ryu look passionate_, Jinora thought to herself with mild amazement. "What makes you think this is gonna last anyway?"

"This?" she asked.

"You know, this. Me being here, this whole 'marriage' thing. It still doesn't make sense t'me why you think there's a chance here when so many people who are happy and in love end up ditching each other sooner or later and you know I don't want t'stay." Jinora seemed to think for a moment before answering.

"Those people founded their marriage on the wrong things."

"What do you mean?"

"People leave each other for a lot of reasons, but it all comes down to one thing they have in common. They usually went into marriage looking for happiness or something else to make them feel fulfilled. When they didn't find it and instead found they ended up with a flawed and disagreeable person, they thought they married the wrong one and left hoping to try again. They took the value of their promises from their feelings for each other, and feelings can change."

"That's it? Just like that?" he raised a brow._ I knew the whole thing was just a matter of convenience._

"Basically. It branches into a lot of different forms. In fact, in many old cultures arranged marriages lasted longer and were happier than most of those today," she turned and raised her chin a little with a slight smile, "little known secret, it's because the truth is that you can love absolutely _anyone_, but most people go looking for something in hopes of what they'll get in return even if they don't realize it. It's more about being a team than it is about being just lovers, and a team works together to make a greater dream come true. My mom says there are some days when she wonders what she ever saw in my dad to begin with, but she loves him anyway."

"So why marry me? I'm not exactly the best team player in case you hadn't noticed. Do you have it in your head that we're soulmates or something?"

"It may have crossed my mind," she admitted, "but I realized a while ago that's just another feeling. It can come and go the same as anything else. One of my friends in high school dated three boys since her junior year. With each new one she swore he was the one. He was the one that swept her off her feet. He was the one she'd marry and have kids with. They weren't perfect but they worked stuff out and they'd be happy. She found someone who loved her as much as she loved them."

"And?"

"Now she lives with her parents and is single with three little kids, all with different dads," she sighed.

"Yikes," he mentally cringed.

"It's not easy, I still visit her now and again... she gets exhausted and looses her temper a lot. Sometimes it seems like her parents are raising her children more than she is while she takes off to escape the pressure by having fun with friends... but she loves her kids. I think the hardest part for her is feeling like she's not enough for them. Her parents help but she says there's a void there that even they can't fill. The kids need a dad too and it breaks her heart when her eldest asks why they don't have one when all the other kids do... she tries so hard..."

"If I had a yuan for every time I've heard a story like that I'd be richer than Asami," he muttered, "if love just leaves someone like that then what's the point of it? A moment of feeling good for a lifetime of regret. You'll be happy together forever... as long as you don't make any long-term or major screw ups then you're canned."

"Not necessarily," she looked up at him, "she never made vows to those guys, and none of them made any vows to her."

"Then why is it that some people marry five times, or secretly cheat on each other while they pretend their relationship is flawless? Or the couples that fight endlessly but still stay together because they're too afraid of change?"

"Who ever said that any of them took their own vows seriously?" she asked, "it's easy to make a promise when you think you know what to expect. When some people realize they have to fight their own pride to keep that promise or something happens that they didn't see coming and it hits them really hard, they find they'd rather break it. Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy, that's just a byproduct like other emotions. It's supposed to help you grow and change into a better person and at the end of the day you're grateful to have it."

_There's a subject of debate if I ever heard one. _"Is that why you married me? You think you can make me a better person?" he asked with disdain in his voice. He held tight to Lefty's saddle as the bison stepped over a fallen tree log.

"Nope," she answered simply while keeping her eyes ahead, "like I said to you early on, that part is up to you."

"Then why?"

"Would you believe me if I told you the voice of truth told me to?" Jinora asked lightly.

"I'd say you really are crazy," he said as he narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion.

"Well, I don't live by just going through the motions, so I guess you could say that," she smiled at him, "but whenever I listen to that voice, sooner or later good things happen as a result. Maybe not what I expected, but sometimes it changes my whole perspective on something. It's not like an imaginary friend, it's more like a spirit that has a better view of things than I do."

"Spirit?" Kai jeered, "now I _know_ you're insane."

_**There is a time and place. **_Jinora took a deep, frustrated breath and let it out slowly. Of course if she tried to defend herself it would only make things go from bad to worse and he wasn't going to listen to her reasoning. They rode the rest of the way without many words. When they returned to the farm Jinora immediately went back to work in helping her family set up. She needed a little space from him and thought that he might need the same. As she worked on setting up lights in the barn she began singing an old melody she knew to lift her spirits. She sang until she could hear footsteps coming in from below at which she quickly closed her mouth. Looking down the ladder she was standing on she found her mother coming in the door and looking up at her as she came in.

"So how did your ride with Kai go?" her mother asked with her hands held together before coming to a stop near the ladder.

"Could've been better, but I'm not complaining," Jinora replied with a dry smile.

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I only have to get a few more lights up, it's fine-"

"I meant with _him_," Pema clarified. At that, Jinora stopped and studied her mother briefly before coming down the ladder. Once at the bottom she leaned against it and held her arms while biting her lower lip.

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"What?" the more matured woman appeared confused by the question, "No, of course not. Why would you ask?"

"I don't know... sometimes I don't know why I'm even doing this," she slumped and looked downcast, "I knew it was going to be hard but I can't help but think if it never gets better than this, then what's the _point_? Am I just making all of us suffer by bringing him here? Is it actually doing any good? How will I know if it's worth it?" Pema seemed to think for a moment before letting out a breath and shaking her head.

"I'm sorry I don't have the answers, Sweetie... this is uncharted territory for all of us," she told Jinora though she remained thoughtful. "Jinora, do you love him?"

"Enough for it to hurt, yeah," she nodded and rubbed the corner of her eye.

"Then there's a point," Pema walked over and put her arms around her daughter. Jinora rested her head on her mom's shoulder and closed her eyes as she felt the soothing hands brushing through her hair and stroking her shoulder. She was reminded of the times when she was little and in need of her parents' comfort. It managed to leave her feeling loved even from many miles away over an extended period of time. Loneliness wasn't so much a problem as it was simply missing the close contact and assurance of her family. That feeling of safety and knowledge that they'd be there to share the truth that would help her to find inner peace faster. She could always find strength when she needed it, but with them she didn't need it. It wouldn't last forever, but she could enjoy it while it was still there.

"I missed this," Jinora said quietly.

"Me too," Pema agreed. Jinora was her firstborn and although she was twenty years old, in her eyes she was still the same baby girl she had held in her arms the first day she became a mother. It was times like this that brought her back to those first moments. She had fallen hopelessly in love with the pink faced, brown eyed little girl that depended on her and her husband so completely. Normally it was the parents that worried more for the child, but Jinora always seemed to know what to do for herself. In fact, she actually seemed to worry more bout her parents than most children would. Granted, her father was older than most others. At sixty-one Jinora must have been incredibly nervous about bringing Kai and risking her father having a heart attack, but fortunately he was more sturdy than most his age. That must be where she gets it.

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"You love him too don't you?"

"I'd like to," Pema nodded slightly, "but he seems so distant and I'm not sure if he'd trust me any more than he does Lefty, and I think I'm more approachable than an animal the size of a small bus."

"He doesn't have a mom..." Jinora told her, "or a dad. I don't think he understands what it even means to be part of something. Not even a family."

"I guess it's our job to change that now isn't it?" Pema chuckled gently. "They say it takes a village to raise a child... hopefully it only takes one family on a farm to reform a convicted orphan."

"One family and a whole lot of help from the universe," Jinora grinned. She felt a little better. Pema kissed her forehead and met her eyes. "If he _does_ start to love me back... how will I know it's for real?" she asked.

"Old words of wisdom, when a man truly loves a woman, and understands what that means, he won't stop pursuing her even after he already has her. You're his wife so he already has you, now all he has to do is start chasing. Just remember, love isn't for the faint of heart. It's the most powerful thing in existence. Whatever it is in Kai's past that made him into who he is, love is more powerful than any of it. If you have it to give, then you _will_ see a difference. Don't doubt that," she smiled warmly at Jinora and gave her one last squeeze before letting her go. "I know usually you'd go to your Aunt Kya for this kind of stuff, can I just say that I'm honored that you chose to talk to me this time?" she laughed lightly.

"I don't see why not. Thanks Mom." She watched as he mother walked back out the barn door before climbing back up the ladder to begin working on the lights. As she did she continued singing the song to herself as she worked. "...When all the earth is ash, and the sky goes dark, I'll look for you still, where you leave your mark. Wait for me, oh my stars and singing birds. Wait for me, oh my love and words. Hold the door open, to all I've known. Leave the light on, I'm coming home." It was the same song her mother had sung to her when she was little and it remained her favorite. It was something like a lullaby and it always brought that same warmth. Realizing that she was running low on lights and still had a couple more rafters to cover she climbed down and turned to stride out the door. As she made the sharp turn around the corner she smacked into someone. Stumbling back she looked up and saw the alarmed look on Kai's face.

"Uh, your dad said he needed some wood for the bonfire..." he explained. Without another word he pushed past her and kept his head low. Dumbfounded Jinora watched him go. Was... was he listening? She wasn't sure. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she could feel a blush warming her cheeks against the cold air. She had been hoping that no one could hear her but the lack of privacy was something she'd have to grow accustomed to. Continuing on her way she tried to brush off the momentary disruption. After everything was finished the guests started to arrive. A small van pulled into the field that would serve as a parking place for all the neighbors. Recognizing the van as the one belonging to her uncle, Jinora looked back over her shoulder and called to her family.

"Guys! Uncle Bumi, Aunt Kya and Gran-gran are here!" She then proceeded to watch as Rohan and Meelo bolted past her with Ikki fresh on their tails. With excited hugs and smiles they welcomed their older relatives and were met with the proud greetings from the elders. Jinora made her way over and hugged her grandmother first.

"Gran-gran, it's so good to see you," she said to the ninety-five year old and she put her arms around her shoulders.

"It's good to see you too," Katara chuckled as she returned the hug, "I've missed you all so much." Jinora then went to hug her aunt and uncle. Tenzin and Pema soon joined the small family reunion. Looking over to Kai, Jinora waved an arm to indicate he should come over. Deciding not to be rude to the visitors, he forced himself to join in. First meeting her parents, then her friends and now her extended family. Was she trying to torture him with all of these uncomfortable introductions?

"Gran-gran, Aunt Kya, Uncle Bumi, I'd like you to meet my husband Kai," she took his hand and nudged him a bit closer to the wrinkled old people. Meeting other young adults was one thing, but meeting a group of elderly folks was definitely not something he was used to. Rubbing the back of his head he gave a small, awkward smile.

"Nice t'meet you all."

Kya leaned over with a small grin and spoke low to her niece, "Ooh, he's handsome."

"He's way too young for you," Jinora quietly teased in response at which Kya chuckled with an agreeing nod of her head.

"So when does the party get started?" Bumi asked while taking a look around, "I heard you guys were actually putting on a bonfire. I hope you got some pillow-sized marshmallows."

"We don't, but there will be plenty of desserts brought by the guests. Ryu's mother is bringing her famous vanilla banana cake," answered Pema, "I hear it tastes like paradise."

As the others continued their discussion, Kai slid away toward the farm house. So caught up in their talking, no one seemed to take notice except one person. Evening came fast and soon more guests began arriving. A stereo played music in the barn and the kids were playing ball while a fire in a cleared out piece of land lit up the property. People were laughing and talking. It was like everyone knew everyone. Kai watched from the porch across the yard. Sitting on the bench by the front door he looked out toward the laughter and merriment. **Too bad you can't join in, **a thought rang through his head, **you don't know anyone and none of them know you. If they did, they'd never accept you.** Looking down at his feet, he almost hadn't noticed the sound of footsteps coming closer. Expecting Jinora or maybe Ikki, Kai looked up, but when he did he found a small old woman smiling gently back at him.

"Any reason why you might be sitting over here all by yourself?" Katara asked.

"The noise was giving me a headache," he answered with halfhearted tilt of his head. It wasn't a total lie.

"Mind if I join you?" The question took Kai by surprise and not wanting to be disrespectful to the white haired woman he gave a vague nod.

"You can if you want." He scooted over on the bench to give her room to sit down. He felt a sense of pity for her as she slowly set herself down next to him. Looking away he tried to force the feelings back down. He shifted in his seat as he grew more and more unsettled by her silent yet loud presence.

"Have you been to a party like this before?" she asked.

_You call this a party? _"I've been t'some, but none exactly like this," Kai replied. He really didn't want to talk, but wasn't sure how to say so in a way that she wouldn't take personally. From where they were sitting in the dim light on the porch he could hear the music taking a lively turn and more laughter coming from inside.

"Our family used to hold get togethers like this all the time," she smiled, "it was a tradition my husband started. He built this very farm you know. From the ground up." Her husband. Kai's right hand immediately went to the ring on his left and twisted it with his thumb and forefinger. That ring had belonged to her husband. A twinge of guilt tugged at his gut as he remembered throwing in into the freezing cold water of the creek.

"That must have taken real motivation," he said to make it seem less to her like the conversation was one-sided.

"Oh it did," she chuckled, "it took a long time and there were rain storms, snow, even a wildfire one summer."

"Wouldn't it just have been easier to move to the city? More jobs, less work, and overall easier life?" Kai asked.

"Undoubtedly," she nodded with a smile, "when we first met we were only children and all he wanted was just to live a simple, easy life... but life has a way of throwing you for a loop."

"What do you mean?"

Katara's smile became more faint as she continued, "As a boy he had been under so much pressure. He was from the Southern Air Temple and was faced with a great deal of pressure from his peers and teachers. It affected him deeply and things became unbearable when he found out that they were going to take him away from his guardian."

"So much for simple and easy," Kai said quietly.

"We met shortly after he had run away from home. We became good friends and after he had the time to calm himself down he decided to go back and we came with him," she sighed, "as it says in history though, the world was at war during that time. While he had been away, Ozai's army attacked the temple. Everyone he knew and loved was gone." Kai remained silent as she continued. "One would think that after such a tragedy, he would never fully recover. It's true that the pain was still there when he remembered it, but he didn't let it mark him for life. I told him that I believed it was destiny that he had survived the attacks. He was meant to do something great. Even after so much hardship, he still had a zeal and love for life unlike any person I had ever known. He showed me how the bad things in life happen to make us more grateful for the good things."

"He sounds like he was an incredible man," Kai looked at her through the corner of his eye. He didn't know why she was telling him this story. Was it just something she wanted to share and he could listen? Didn't she have her family for that?

"In many ways he was, but he was also only a man," Katara nodded, "he had weaknesses and flaws. He felt anger, greed, and shame just like the rest of us. In fact, I don't believe you two are all that different." _If you knew anything about me you wouldn't say that, _Kai thought to himself but didn't utter a word. "May I ask you something?"

_Please don't. _"Go ahead."

"The path back to the barn is very dark and I don't think I'd be able to make my way back without tripping and hurting myself. Think you could give me a hand?" He hesitated before getting to his feet and stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"If you really need the help," he answered with a small shrug. With visible effort, Katara pushed herself up from the bench and held on to his arm. Her hands were frail and her grip was almost nonexistent. Kai had so much racing through his mind that he was tempted to share with her, but he knew better than to let his guard down around anyone, especially those that could potentially provoke feelings of sympathy. Eventually they came to the barn and she let go of his arm before giving him a light pat on the cheek.

"Thank you, Kai," she smiled before going to join her sons and daughter at the table they were all sitting at. Kai stood where he was and took in the surroundings.

All around him he could hear the jazzy music playing and see people dancing. They twirled, clapped and stomped to the beat with jubilation. Overjoyed smiles took over the faces of the crowd. It was so different from what he was used to. A dark room with flashing lights and people packed so closely together on the floor that no one would have room to dance like this if they wanted to. Here there was no restriction of space. The people were free to move together with excitement, rather than stand in one place and dance only to draw attention to their own bodies. And it wasn't just young adults, it was small children and even some middle-aged grown ups making complete fools of themselves with their energy.

Out of the small crowd he spotted Jinora. Her hands were joined with her sister and a few others. Together the group ran in circles and laughed like they were having the thrill of a lifetime. While Kai watched her having such fun he remained sidelined. No amount of pleading or pressure could have moved him to join. This was so far out of his element that he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. But as he looked on, part of him longed to be involved with the carefree atmosphere. He couldn't understand why. There was no booming music pounding in his ears or rattling his bones. Where did they get all this energy? Where was all the life coming from? Several times someone approached Kai and offered for him to join in and each time he turned them down with the same answer he had given Katara.

Everyone began to drive home before it could grow close to midnight. The first to leave were the families with younger children then the rest. Kya and Katara would be staying with Bumi at his home in Jia. After all the guests had gone the bonfire was put out with water and the lights were turned out. After helping to take things down, Jinora and Kai returned to the cabin exhausted from a long, eventful day. Laying his head down on the pillow, Kai didn't think he had ever been more grateful to feel a mattress under him. Jinora went to the bookshelf and took out the book she had been reading before. Picking up on the chapter where she had left off, she continued to read the story aloud. Yet again, Kai tried to ignore it but found himself picturing the words coming to life. In the book the pirate captain had just seized the ship that he and his men would plunder. They had the passengers stand in a line and threatened to shoot anyone who stepped out of line. The captain plucked one young girl out of the line as she stood out to him. It was not her looks, for she looked as average as a girl could be. It was the lack of fear in her eyes. Holding a sword to her throat he wished to know why she wasn't afraid. She told him that even if he killed her, her spirit would live on and no amount of torture he put her through in life could make her hate him. Testing that claim he turned to his men and ordered them to kill the rest of the passengers. The girl cried out in terror as she watched her friends fall to the deck lifelessly. "Do you hate me now?" the captain asked with a coy smile. "I hate what you've done. But I do not hate you," she told the pirate. She was taken to the brig and thrown into a cell. After three days with no food or water he asked again. She replied the same. The chapter ended when the pirate captain asked her why she refused to hate him and she answered. "Because that's what you want me to do. Fear you. Hate you. Curse you. So you may be powerful, but when I don't do those things you will gain no satisfaction from me."

Almost the instant Jinora closed the book, Kai fell asleep. It wasn't long before his head was filled with tormenting dreams. He heard a shout of pain, a yell of anger and a mournful cry all from three different voices. The first two were adult males and the third was that of a young boy. Feelings of rage, agony, fear and desperation sent his mind spiraling into utter despair. He awoke with a jolt and sat sharply upright in bed with his heart firing in his ribs and a cold sweat making his skin glisten. He was trembling from the power the nightmare had over him. His chest heaved as he panted to catch his breath. Looking down he saw Jinora still peacefully asleep beside him. Laying back down he tried to calm himself and remember it was just a dream. But as he clutched the pillow tightly he knew that wasn't the truth. It was more than a dream, it was memory. As moments passed the images disappeared but the feelings remained. He shut his eyes to prevent tears that weren't coming. He had run out of tears to shed a long time ago and instead the emotions boiled and stirred inside until he could finally relax enough to clear his mind.

_I won't go through that again,_ he thought to himself with resolution,_ they can't hurt me_ _if I don't care._ With the decision made he spent the next hour struggling to regain he sleeping state.

* * *

_A/N: Hey guys, I've been reading your reviews and I'm really glad you like the story so far. This week I had to struggle to get this chapter written and I've published it a day early since I will not be able to get online tomorrow. To let you know ahead of time I've decided to skip a week or two on uploading so I can get ahead in writing. I like to be able to have time to go back and proofread more before uploading and getting this chapter out in time was stressful to say the least. More chapters will be uploaded very soon, I just need a short hiatus to get them all written ahead of time which would take off a great deal of pressure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but as soon as I have those chapters written it will return to a weekly uploading schedule. Be sure to check in and I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Remember, the best is yet to come. ;)_


	8. Love and War

_He is runnin' a hundred miles an hour,_

_In the wrong direction,_

\- Casting Crowns (Does Anybody Hear Her)

* * *

_**Kai.**_

The hairs on the back of Kai's neck stood on end as his head lurched up with surprising alertness. He had been busying himself with trying to make breakfast on his own for the first time while Jinora was sitting in a wooden chair at the table ingrained in one of her books. After glancing around Kai looked at her questioningly.

"Did you say something?"

"Hm?" she hummed as she curiously looked over the pages at him, "I didn't say a word."

His brows furrowed for a moment before he shrugged it off. It was probably just his imagination, though he felt a strange knowing that wasn't the case. When he was finished he slid her a dish of eggs and vegetables before going to sit of the sofa to eat. Looking down at the plate Jinora pushed the eggs around and felt a slight turn in her stomach. They were a little burnt and formed into small clusters. Taking a quick glance to make sure he wasn't looking, she forced herself to take a bite and didn't hide her grimace. It wasn't unlike what she imagined swallowing gravel to feel like.

_**He made it for you.**_

_Why couldn't I just make some for him? I can make better eggs than this. I'm sure he'd appreciate it._

_**He made it for you.**_

_I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I don't think I can eat this! I can still feel some of it in my throat. That can't be healthy!_

_**He made it for you.**_

The words kept repeating deep inside. It was like the voice was speaking directly into her heart and never changing in its position no matter what reasoning she threw back at it. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the truth was the truth no matter how much she fought against or denied it. The truth was that he did in fact make an effort. It was a small effort with poor results, but an effort all the same. Looking down at the plate again, she no longer saw gravel, she saw the work of a man who was willing to try providing for her even if it didn't mean much to him. Closing her eyes she tried only picture it as that and ate. By the time she was finished the plate was nearly cleared though the hard, dry taste remained in her mouth.

"Thank you, Kai" she told him as she stood and went to set her plate by the sink, "that was a lovely breakfast."

"I know you're lying," he coughed as he spat out what little he had in his own mouth, "it tastes like dirt." Jinora took in a breath and let it out. Closing her eyes again she mentally repeated to herself that he had tried.

"I'm not lying," she said as she moved to stand next to him, "it was lovely because you made it."

"Don't go spouting that sentimental mush on me," he said tiredly while pushing himself off the couch and walking past her, "I don't need it." Jinora held her breath and let it out slowly, trying not to let him get to her. After setting down his plate he turned to face her while leaning his hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. "So what would be on today's to-do list?"

"We're going to do some yard work," she told him as she sat down to put on her grey colored sneakers, "that's going to take up most of the day."

"Let's get started then," Kai sighed. He followed her out the door. Spring was returning and clouds covered most of the sky while the sun shined from just behind. The ground was moist from the previous night's rainfall and the grass was slowly regaining its lush, green color. Kai was wearing a brown t-shirt and denim jeans while Jinora was in a red shirt that was a little too big for her and dark blue jeans that didn't even look like they were meant for a female. They got to the shed and Jinora opened the door while Kai went inside to get a rake for himself a shovel for her as she directed.

While Jinora scooped away dirt to plant new shrubs, Kai worked in clearing away some of the dead leaves that littered the ground. After a break to get lunch Jinora instructed him to clear away some bushes that were by the garden and threatening to choke out the flowers so he went to do so. When he returned fifteen minutes later he was livid. His face, shirt, hands and arms were covered with dark blue stains. It looked as though he had just been facing a detonating ink bomb. Jinora bit her lip to hide her smile and keep herself from laughing.

"You could have told me the berries in those bushes stained," he growled, "I tried everything and I can't get them off!"

"You didn't ask," she grinned back at him.

"How long is this going to be on me?"

"About a week," she shrugged.

"You knew this would happen!" Kai raged, his temper blazing, "You did this on purpose! How can I go back to the city like this?!"

"If you really wanted to go back you would have left a long time ago," Jinora pointed out as she folded her arms over his chest. Kai could feel his face turning hot. Was he blushing? He hadn't blushed in years, and it only served to drive his nerves further into the fire.

"I'm _not _staying here!" he declared, "_I'm_ going back to the city t'get my money from Hina, _I'm_ going t'get my own place far away from here, and I'm _never _gonna look back!"

"What's wrong with right here?" Jinora asked while sticking her shovel into the ground, "Or can you just not stand the fact that you're actually starting to like it here? That's why you're trying to run isn't it?"

"You're delusional!" Kai threw his arms up in frustration, "there's no way I'd ever want to stay here on this beat up dirt in the middle of nowhere! You've got your money's worth outta me! You paid the fine t'get me out and I did the numbers, I paid you back with all these stupid chores these past months! You wanted everything, that's what you got!"

"I don't have anything from you. Nothing that's _worth_ anything," she frowned. Kai seethed and felt his hands tighten into fists. His vision became a haze of red.

"Maybe you're just too scared t'_take_ it," he spat, "too scared it'll damage your perfect good girl image. I've met a ton of girls like you. You might act all sweet and nice but you've got a naughty side you're just _dying _t'act on with someone you actually want." Jinora's own temper boiled just under the surface so she kept her mouth shut to keep herself from saying something she'd regret. Kai turned to walk away, cursing under his breath. He stopped when Jinora ran to cut him off.

"Don't try to hide it, if you have something to say then say it to my face. Let it out!" At her cue the dam broke and Kai unleashed his very colorful vocabulary. Every foul word and name that jumped to his mind came out, and he knew plenty. Jinora just hoped her more impressionable younger brothers weren't around to hear any of it.

"You're not looking so calm yourself!" he challenged, his heart pounding like a steam engine, "why don't _you_ take a crack at it? Throw something at me! Go ahead! I won't fight back!"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" she could feel her blood running hot. "More hard knocks! Because it'll make me like everyone else!"

"You still think you're different? You're _exactly _like everyone else! You're nothing innocent!"

"That word doesn't have any meaning to you anymore does it?!" she almost yelled.

"Who said it _ever _meant anything t'me!" he shouted back before turning and marching away. Jinora half expected to hear a loud crash or maybe window glass shattering but neither came. That night she came to the cabin and found him sitting on the couch by the fire. He cast her a derisive smile as she went up to the loft. Opening the dresser to get her pajamas she found that they were all soaking wet as though they had been thrown in the washer then straight back into the drawers. When she went to the bookshelf, she found that many of the books had pages bent and torn. With a deep, agitated breath she wisely chose to not go near her slippers. Climbing back down the ladder she sat in the chair across from the couch Kai was resting on. He didn't look up at her as she did.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked calmly.

"There's nothing t'talk about," he shook his head as he closed his eyes and raised his brows casually.

"Why are you so determined to leave?" Jinora asked.

"I know what I want, and what I want is none of your business."

"You don't want anyone to love you?"

"You eventually get sick of having people love you," he scoffed, "especially when they only love you as long as you do everything right."

"Try me," Jinora said, "if you're so sure I'll send you away then why don't you just get it over with?"

**Go ahead, Kai. Tell her. **He could tell her. Tell her and get it out of the way. Make himself crystal clear. It would hurt her. More than that, it would be aimed directly at her heart. The shot would be quick and final then he would be free. He'd be given a ride out and taken as far away as possible. But as the horrible memories began to eat their way to the surface he shut down. He could feel emotions beginning to stir inside and closed his eyes. _Don't think about it. Don't feel it. She'll make scrap meat out of you if you do._ "I don't belong here."

"And where do you think you belong? Back in that club with people who only wanted you around for their own gain?"

"That's _my_ choice isn't it?" Kai whipped his head around to glare at her.

"I wonder if you really believe you _have _a choice..." she spoke with surprising gentleness as she looked at the fire and leaned her head on the back of her hand as it was braced on her elbow. After a few moments of silence passed she looked to him to see him staring into the fire. He had that same distant look he always had. It was like his mind was a million miles away.

"I don't know what you mean," he said with pain in his words, "but it's not like the rest of the world has anything better t'offer... You know that night in the alley, when Shin was aiming that gun at me... I was so sure I was gonna die. I was actually more afraid that it was gonna hurt during the last moments I was alive than I did of actually being dead."

"Did you want to die?" she asked cautiously.

"Maybe..." he replied.

"Do you still want to?"

"No... I don't wanna die... but I'm not so sure why I want t'stay alive either." He looked down then up at Jinora. Getting out of her seat she moved toward the couch and set herself down next to him and curled up. He seemed unmoved by the action.

"What are you feeling right now, Kai?" she asked.

"What do you want me t'feel?" he asked as he looked at her with an apathetic curve at the corner of his mouth.

"Don't worry about what I want," she told him as she took his hand and wove her fingers between his. "Just tell me the truth."

"Nothing," he half lied, "I feel nothing."

"Toward me or in general?" she asked. The question left him without an answer. He felt a strange mix of disinterest and hurt. He couldn't tell which was about which though it wasn't too far out of reason to say the ache was from the resurfacing memories. Jinora could see the pained look in his eyes even though he turned his head so he wasn't looking at her anymore. He tried to keep his focus fixed on the dancing flickers of the fire. "Kai, the truth."

"Pain," he answered flatly before he could stop himself. He had put the fire on and sat close to it hoping the flames would chase away the cold that gripped him. But the heat that radiated from the glow did nothing to soothe the chills that slithered up and down his body and limbs because the cold wasn't coming from the outside. At that Jinora rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes tight.

"I wish I could see what was going on in your head," she told him, "then I could help you fight off whatever it is that's got you so trapped."

"You wouldn't be the first."

"How can I prove to you that I'm being for real here?" she asked as she lifted her head to look at him.

"You can't because you're not," he told her dispassionately.

_**Comfort him.**_

_But- _she felt her heart beginning to pick up speed, _If I touch him now he might take it the wrong way..._

_**Comfort your husband.**_

"You do seem real nice and all," he said absently before looking back at her, "but I've been more of a farmhand and house guest t'you. You haven't exactly treated me like a husband." Silence ruled the next few seconds.

"You're right," Jinora admitted after a moment of thought. How many times had she referred to her family as being her own as though they weren't his now as well? How many times had she focused more on trying to make him_ feel _welcome instead of _actually_ welcoming him? How often had she asked him to share about his own past while giving none of her own? He was her husband and it was time she did something about it. She could feel the callouses on his once soft hand that had formed from all the work he had done. Returning her attention to his face she saw he was looking away again with a pain that she couldn't understand. "You're so hard Kai, it's painful to touch you."

"That's what farm work does."

"I'm not talking about the callouses... not the physical ones at least," she replied quietly. With her heart in her throat she cautiously leaned forward and kissed his lips slowly. It was met with a mechanical reciprocation. She pulled back and took his other hand before getting to her feet and leading him up the ladder to the loft. Kai took this as meaning she was finally prepared to give in to her desires. Once they were in the loft he watched her begin to strip out of her clothes.

"So how do you want it?" he asked in a husky voice as he moved up behind her, "Sensual? For your first time I'd suggest going slow, but if you think you can handle going a little rough-"

"Neither," she told him as she shed the last of her clothes seemingly unaffected. Jinora had been sure to start on the birth control pills the first night after they were married. Of course she didn't plan on doing anything then, but she figured it was better to start ahead of time and grow accustomed to some of the side effects. _Brace yourself in case they fail. Nothing is one hundred percent guaranteed. _

"You sure? I can stop any time, all you have t'do is tell me to."

"That won't be necessary."

"Believe me, you might want a break somewhere in the middle," he told her with a lifeless smile, "It's gonna get loud and you're gonna have t'catch your breath somewhere."

"Nope. We'll be doing this my way."

"Your way?" he would have laughed if he was in the mood. He pulled off his shirt and focused on her, "little miss untouched is gonna show the master how t'do it?"

"I know a few things I don't believe you ever learned," she said cryptically. She had to show him the difference between making love and just having sex. If she didn't then he'd never understand. Turning around Jinora could feel her pulse rocketing. A wave of mixed fear and excitement washed over her and she could feel her face growing hot with a blush. Looking at him from head to toe, she took in the sight of all of him at once. She was vaguely reminded of the marble sculptures from ancient civilizations that she would see in museums, even with the berry stains on his face. They were every bit as beautiful and made of the same solid stone. Momentarily she was overcome with feelings of hesitation and worry. What if she didn't know how to please him? What if it hurt? What if she made a fool of herself? What if she let her own desires take control? She closed her eyes and dismissed the doubts. If she allowed them to cloud her mind then the whole purpose would be lost. _Don't loose your senses. Remember why you're doing this._

He moved to sit beside her on the bed and she shifted forward until they were kissing again. As they kissed he shut off the switch on his emotions and focused on what to do. He could even help her out. _This won't be any different, don't think, don't feel, just do what makes her happy. She'll never know the difference, _he thought to himself as he moved his hand to begin his work. Though as he did, Jinora pulled away with a somewhat saddened look of dissatisfaction.

"Don't do that."

"Don't you want me to please you?" he asked implying that the answer was obvious.

"I told you, not the way you've been taught," she replied. She couldn't let the physical desire take over and loose sight of the love. The way she was looking at him caused that same discomfort it had before despite her obvious mix of excitement and anxiety. That same certain look, like she knew something he didn't.

**Run Kai! Get away from her!**

_**Stay.**_

"There is no 'way', you don't know what you're talking about. It just is what it is," Kai told her with rising annoyance. The voices warred inside him vying to be heard the loudest. Why did she have to break his concentration with talking? This was simple. Why did she have to complicate it by talking about it like she actually knew something about it?

"There is. Stop running away and let me in," she pleaded, taking his hand and holding between hers. As much as he didn't want to admit it, she _was_ different. Jinora knew when it was just an act. Exactly how she knew was beyond his knowledge, but he could hear how focused she was. There was a fullness in her eyes that he found difficult to look at. Feeling suddenly self conscious under the weight of her stare, he looked away. He closed his eyes at the touch of her hand to his cheek. "Kai, please look at me."

"No," he said waveringly but found himself unable to resist as she gently guided his attention back to her face. He could feel her hands and body trembling violently. No doubt it was a result of her long time, self-inflicted celibacy, but instead of being repulsed by the apparent weakness he felt a deep sense of pity but quickly forced the feeling away. **Don't let her make you feel anything. You've done this plenty of times before. Shut it down. **Why did she have to do this? What was the point?

"Kai..." the fragile way she said his name pierced through his defenses like a spear through tissue paper. Her nose and brow brushed against his and their breaths mingled. His eyes opened slowly and he found himself looking directly into her warm, brown ones. It was strange. He had never really paid much attention to the fact that her eyes were brown. "Who am I?"

"Can't remember?" he asked in an attempt to put off the conversation with dry humor.

"Please Kai," she said gently. Her tenderness caused a new, strange and unwelcome emotion to stir in him. He wasn't sure what it was, but it made him feel weak and frail. For the first time in a long time, he felt truly naked and exposed. Desperately he wanted to look away and block it out so he could force the feeling back down but found himself unable to break away from her steady gaze.

"Jinora," he choked and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat.

"And what am I?" she asked with a smile beginning to grow on her face. She had just heard him say her name for the first time.

"A person," he answered with a small shrug.

"Your..." she prompted.

"My..." he stopped a moment to take a deep breath before his voice shrank. He had no idea why but he could feel his heart racing though he dared not show any such feelings in his expression, "my wife." As he said the words, Jinora's eyes and smile held adoration and light unlike he had ever seen looking directly at him.

"That's right. I'm part of you now, and you're part of me. This is my way of _proving _it to you. Don't show me what you know," she spoke benevolently as she caressed her thumb repeatedly over her cheek, "just let your walls come down. Keep saying it."

Kai felt her move to kiss him again with soft pecks to every inch of his face. Jinora only seemed to hold profound admiration and when she kissed him her lips were delicate and generous. Her hands feathered lightly over his skin. For the first time in a long time, he had no idea what to do. None of his past experience would help him here. This wasn't the same thing he used to do, this was something entirely new. He couldn't understand how could she act like she knew what she was doing when she had never done it before. Every touch was careful and deliberate as though she were trying to memorize every inch of him. Slowly and carefully he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss to her cheek believing it might be more to her liking. He had done it a million times before to countless young ladies, but this time there was bafflement spinning in his head, making it difficult for him to keep his concentration. He fought to keep his emotions out but his walls rapidly crumbled to dust each time she stopped to ask him that same question only to continue after he gave the same answer.

Jinora pulled him to lay down alongside her and moved against him so the lengths of their bodies were fitted together. She couldn't help but be amazed by how she fit against him, like two puzzle pieces perfectly aligned. Their breaths matched as did the hammering in their chests. She could see he was biting the corner his lower lip in uncertainty. He felt no desire to be that close to her. He just wanted to get it done and over with but she was taking time. She began combing her fingers through the mess of loosely curled, dark brown hair on his head and kissed him more. A small giggle escaped her lips and he looked at her curiously.

"What?"

"You're still covered in berry stains," she reminded him while failing in her strives to conceal her laughter. Kai felt himself blushing again. He wanted to be frustrated and annoyed by her pointing it out but the light in her smile silenced him. He felt ridiculous, but for whatever reason he didn't mind so much. He kept trying to focus on forcing down the light feeling that rose in his chest when she smiled at him. A sense of fear began to grasp at his heart each time he did. When it was over they laid side by side, Jinora rested her head against his shoulder while he stared deeply disturbed at the ceiling. The actual intercourse only seemed to take up a fraction of the time as she kept taking his attention away from what he was doing and bringing it back to her face. In a whisper she told him how much pleasure she had found in him how she loved him. Kai felt something inside in him break and begin to uncurl, like a trampled and withered flower growing and blooming under the warmth of the sun.

"What was that?" he asked.

"That was making love," she began as she closed her eyes and thanked the universe for giving Kai to her. Her doubts melted away and her certainty grew even stronger, "Thank you."

She actually thanked him for that? They hardly did anything! And no one had ever actually _thanked _him for the action, they had all just expected it since they had paid or just assumed that he had enjoyed it as well so a thanks wasn't necessary. If he had done as little with them as he had just done with her they would have been disappointed or outraged and demanding a refund especially if they weren't first timers who already had a taste of the full deal. Heck, even first timers didn't expect_ that_ little. Yet Jinora was so satisfied with next to nothing. Confusion spiraled in his head and it churned new feelings deep inside him. His mind had then fallen blank except for a fearful voice that rang loud and clear through his head. **Run Kai! Get away from her! Get out before it's too late! Run! RUN!**

* * *

The next morning before the sun was risen and everyone was still asleep, Kai had called Daw's taxi to come and pick him up. He had to get out of here. He needed to be free and this place was starting to get to him. Jinora was getting too close for comfort. _Way_ too close. Anxiously he waited until he heard the tires rolling across the dirt road. With his pack on his shoulder Kai slid into the backseat. Daw looked at him through the rear-view mirror.

"May I ask why it is you're so interested in getting to town this early in the morning?" he asked weakly. From where he was Kai could see the shadows under the mustachioed man's eyes.

"Business trip," he told the driver as he settled in his seat, "it's just a short round t'the city. I'll be back before the end of the week." Of course it was a lie but by the time Daw knew the truth Kai would be long gone. With a yawn, Daw pulled the cab out of the farm's driveway and turned back down the road. Looking out the back window Kai watched as the wooden farmhouse disappeared behind the trees.

_Jinora is gonna be upset when she wakes up, but she'll forget all about me soon enough, _he thought to himself, _they all will._

After arriving in Jia an hour later Kai took a train back to the city. All along the way he stared bleakly out the window fighting back the ache that tugged at his chest. He tried to take his mind off of it by thinking of all he'd do once he was back in the city. By now Shin must have given up looking for him. He could finally get his own place and live his own life. No one telling him what to do, who to be or where to go. No one to make him feel guilty for being who he is. When the train arrived at the depot is Republic City Kai was hit with the murky stench of the city. Did it always smell like this? Pollution, car emissions and fumes. Why was this the first time he was aware of it? Getting off the train he began walking toward the section of town where the club was located. By the time he arrived it was dark out and music was already shaking the ground. Coming inside he could hear people attempting to holler to each other over the sound system and watched as the laser lights flashed across the room.

"Kai!" he heard a voice call around he saw Mengyao approaching with a wide grin to throw an arm around him, "where have you been man? This place got kinda dull without you around."

"Jail," Kai said while raising a brow at Mengyao.

"Oh right," he laughed, "we would have gotten you out but you know..."

"Yeah, sure," he dismissed, then raised his voice again over the music, "where's Hina?"

"Hina?"

"Yeah, she owes me money and I'm here to collect," Kai explained. Mengyao's smile fell and he shifted his eyes away awkwardly.

"Hina isn't around anymore..."

"What?"

"She took off last month. Didn't tell anybody where she was goin'. Left with some rich guy."

Kai's mind reeled. Gone? She left and took the money with her? All those months of hard work and waiting for _this_? In just a few seconds the dreams that he had worked so hard for were flushed out of existence. How was he supposed to get his own place now? Where was he supposed to go? "I don't believe this," he could feel hot anger bubbling up to the surface. How could Hina do this? She owed him big time and she just took off.

"Yuna is still around," Mengyao offered with a shrug, maybe you can still work here and get it all back."

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs, come on." Mengyao led Kai up the stairs to the lounge. The music was still moving the floor but now at least it wasn't slamming against his head. When they came in the door Yuna was sitting on one of the orange couches with some guy he didn't recognize and they were clearly getting handsy. "Hey Yuna, look who's back."

She turned and looked to see the two men standing in the doorway. A bright smile leaped to her face as she jumped off the couch. "Kai!" she greeted happily as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a friendly hug, "we've missed you!"

"I missed you too," he lied while faking a warm smile and loosely wrapping and arm around her.

"So what have you been up to? I heard you got bailed out of jail but you didn't come back here."

"I had t'take a little trip but that's done with. What happened to Hina?" Yuna's smile was replaced with a look that spoke volumes in bitterness.

"She took off with some big time business guy who left his wife for her, she said they were going to live on the beach somewhere and have three kids. She didn't leave any way to contact her."

"She owed me money, did she take it with her?" Kai's brows creased. At this Yuna looked down and pressed her lips together in a straight line.

"Actually Kai... she never held on to the money."

"Excuse me?" Kai asked, wondering if he had heard right.

"She never had it for you... The girls would pay her and... she'd go spend it on her clothes and... stuff," she said hesitantly.

"And you never told me this?!" he fumed, his anger stirring into a vortex. Mengyao took a cautious step away from him.

"I would have, but she said if I did she'd let her guy friend give me a little 'talking to'! I'm sorry, Kai."

"Now what am I supposed t'do?!" Kai pressed his hand to his forehead and pushed it back through his hair. All that work, all that meaningless giving himself up, all the dreams. Poof. Part of him desperately wanted to track Hina down and get his money from her but as they said, she left no way to contact her and the cops certainly wouldn't help.

"You could still work here. I'll manage you instead," she offered. So he'd have to start over? Right back from the beginning only climb his way back up? He paused to think. He really didn't seem to have much of a choice.

"Fine," he huffed, still feeling the anger, "fifty-fifty, and they pay me directly."

"And I get to have you any time I want, for free."

"Deal," he shook her hand before she grabbed something from her purse. She turned toward the guy she had been sitting with and wore a playful smile.

"Wait right there, I'll be back."

"I'll be waiting," he grinned.

"No, feel free to take off. I wanna see the look on her face when she gets back and you're not here," Mengyao told him before Yuna harshly shoved him out the door. Yuna was sweet enough around strangers for the sake of maintaining a good image, but Kai knew that behind the scenes she could be more vicious than a rabid wolverine-piranha.

"So here's your old room," she told Kai as she unlocked and opened the door, "some things have been moved around, but most of it's still here. I'll give you twenty minutes to settle back in then get undressed and I'll send the first up."

"Make it ten, I gotta make up for lost time," he groaned ruggedly.

"First, here," she held out a small plastic box, "put this on."

"Is this makeup?" he asked while scrunching his nose.

"It's to cover that- that..." she gestured with her hand around the stains on his face, "stuff."

"This is _makeup_," he repeated with indignation as he pointed at the box.

"Do you wanna get paid or not?" Taking a moment to consider, he growled and snatched it from her hand.

After Yuna closed the door he crossed the room and fell across his old bed. As he laid there, he smiled to himself as his nerves began to melt away. He had almost forgotten how soft it was. Some of the treasures he had stolen still sat in the closet across the room. Watches, wallets, various shoplifted items including some DVDs lined the shelf. A door in the corner led to a small bathroom which included a nice shower and an assortment of different men's products meant to keep him smelling like a woman's dream. All his personal belongings were there and it felt good to be surrounded by them again. Remembering that he still had work to do, he undressed himself, put on the cover up and necessary protection before tying a towel around his waist. A knock sounded at the door and he went to answer, putting on his best alluring smile. Upon opening the door he found a young brown haired woman in a strapless grey party dress standing outside. Leaning an elbow on the door frame he rested his head against his knuckles and eyed her up and down to make it appear as though he were checking her out.

"It's not very often we get girls as pretty as you up here," he grinned. She blushed and had a girly smile. He knew the right words. Make her feel adored or she won't enjoy it so much. "So have you ever done this before?"

"A time or two, but never with a guy quite as hot as you," she shrugged one shoulder.

"Well just relax, come on in and let me work my magic," he raised both brows with a coy smile as he took her hand and guided her inside. Once she was inside he leaned in to begin kissing her repeatedly. She broke away to take and breath and he watched as she looked down. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"What is that?" she asked.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"Is that a wedding ring?" she asked as she pointed to his left hand.

_Crud! _Kai quickly took his left hand in his right and of course the ring was there. He had forgotten to leave it back at the farm. "Uhh, no... i-it's just a ring. I put it on the wrong finger. Wasn't really thinking about it." Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I think I'm just going to go," she stepped toward the door.

"I mean it, it's just a ring," he told her casually. If she left then he wouldn't have to please her but he also wouldn't get paid.

"Still, I'm not comfortable with this anymore, I'm out," the girl awkwardly moved out the door.

Kai's nose crinkled with a look of sheer annoyance. _So she'll pay to have sex with a total stranger but when she suspects that he's married she's suddenly a morally upright person? What a hypocrite, _he thought with disgust. Leaning against his shoulder in the doorway he waited for whoever it was that Yuna would send up next. There was always a waiting list. Two more girls came and went without complaint. The third girl to come up was wearing a short black skirt and a white top that revealed her midriff where a ring was pierced through her naval. Her hair was straight, dark and fell to her waist.

"So what's your name?" Kai asked though he really didn't care. As soon as she left he'd likely forget it.

"Rin, and I don't like to do much talking so let's just get to it." Though her attitude was snarky, Kai appreciated her bluntness. At least she was honest and he didn't like much talking either. Stepping aside he allowed her in and shut the door behind her. Reaching into her purse she took out a reasonably sized wad of cash and handed it to him. All the seduction he needed.

"So how do you want it?" he asked with a grin as he set the money down on top of a dresser.

"Surprise me," she answered as she moved to the bed. "Whatever you can dish out, I can take." It almost sounded like a challenge, but he knew better. A challenge involved asking someone to step out of their comfort zone where this was all too familiar to him. She was trying to bait him. If he had been new to it he might have felt thrilled or at least intrigued but he had been through this many times before. It was a worn out old hat. As she laid waiting for him with an excited grin, his thoughts wandered and the images of Jinora came back to him. The way she had marveled over minuscule details of his body like he was a work of art to be admired and how she smiled... He shook away the rising feelings. It couldn't have lasted. She would have gotten tired of it eventually just like he had. It was good that he left when he did rather than later. He had put it off for long enough as it was.

He removed the towel from around his waist and came toward the bed. With each step his heart felt heavier though it remained void of emotion. All he could think of was how he had lost all the money he had earned by doing this for so long. Hopelessness overcame him. This was where he belonged. This was his life sentence. There would be no living on his own. There was no freedom. There was no escape from it. He couldn't make an honest living, so this fate would always find him no matter where he went. _Don't think. _Kai told himself as he put on a fake, toothy grin and fell over her, moving his hand under her skirt to grip the hem of her underwear. _Don't feel._ He began pulling it down as she arched herself close and placed her mouth to his. _Just do it._ Before the article of clothing was even to her ankles the door swung open. He saw the dark haired girl pull back her head and frown as she looked toward the door.

"Hey! Wait your turn!"

"Out!" That voice... He looked over his shoulder and his heart stopped dead.

"Jinora?!" Kai exclaimed in alarm with questions racing through his mind. How did she find him? And how did she get there so fast? What was going on?

"I already paid!" Rin said angrily as she came out from under him and confronted Jinora.

"Get your refund and get out!" Jinora jabbed a finger toward the door. Something in her voice said danger. Rin appeared taken aback for a moment as though carefully considering her next action before slinking past quietly and grabbing the money from the top of the dresser, leaving Jinora's wrath to Kai.

"What are you doing here?!" Kai asked as he got up, quickly tying the towel back around him.

"I'm here to take you home!" she declared with searing eyes. This was not the same gentle farm girl he had known for the past few months. This was someone out for blood. Any shame he might have felt in the past was far from his mind.

"That's not up t'you!" he fired back. "This is where _I _live. You wanna go back, you can go without me, I'm staying here!"

"So _this_ is where you've been living?" Jinora asked as she furiously looked around. There was a mini-fridge in the corner, a flat screen TV on the wall with a game system, a fluffy bed, a laptop and one of the latest cell phones on the market on the nightstand, all the comforts and luxuries one could ask for and more.

"It's more of a life than what you had me living on that farm of yours," he told her dryly to hide the blistering heat underneath his own skin.

"Is this all you want out of life?!" she cried with anger. She was almost afraid of the level of power her fury had over her. It caused her to shake. It took all of her strength to fight back the overwhelming storm but it refused to be kept down. "This isn't freedom, this is a glorified cage! No better than the cell you were in! I don't get it! What are you running away from? What are you so afraid of?" Kai's temper skyrocketed. Back at her own home there was nothing he could do, but this was his turf. Here, he was the one in control.

"I'm not afraid of you or anything there, I just don't do Stockholm Syndrome," he cocked his head sharply before swiftly moving forward and hoisting her over his shoulder. The action caught Jinora by surprise.

"Put me down!" she yelled while struggling to free herself. Suddenly she was dropped outside the door. Looking up she watched him pull off the ring and drop it on the floor next to her.

"Have a nice life," he said with a mocking smile and slammed the door shut. Leaping to her feet, Jinora was so consumed with rage and hurt that she felt like pulling her hair out and screaming at the top of her lungs. Leaning down she snatched the ring from the floor and stuffed it in her pocket before turning around and storming down the stairs.

Meanwhile Kai was in his room pacing back and fourth, his heart pounding like a mallet and causing his blood to course hard. He could feel his pulse down to his toes. Who did she think she was? What right did she have to come in and tell him she was taking him back to her home? Going to the window, he yanked back the curtain and could see her with her back to him marching across the street. He could practically see the smoke rising from her footsteps.

**You saw this coming, **the dark voice told him, **it was inevitable. You tried to warn her. It's her own fault for not listening.**

Yet as the voice spoke to him, he felt a strange pulling in his chest. The same pulling he had felt as the cab drove away from the farm and since. It was like something was gently commanding him to go after her. Shutting his eyes he tried to force the feeling away. He didn't take commands, but the more he tried to suppress it, the more painful it became. The pulling turned into tearing. He needed to get out. He had to steal something. It would get his mind off the pain. Getting his clothes on fast, he headed out the door and down the stairs. Yuna tried to stop him but he didn't listen as he angrily pushed past her. Once outside he went in the opposite direction he had seen Jinora go in. He could forget her. She'd forget him. Both their lives would return to normal. The sooner the better.

* * *

On the edge of a busy street not far from the club, Mako was speaking to a driver that he had pulled over. With the lack of needed detective work recently and a shortage of street cops, he had been temporarily reassigned to take care of the regular goings on in the city.

"Alright, I'll let you off with a warning and a ticket this time but try to keep your head up and the phone down," he sighed as he pulled off a sheet and handed it to the bespectacled teenage boy behind the wheel. The kid took the ticket with a nod before reigniting his engine and driving off. Returning to his own satomobile Mako sat in the driver's seat and slumped back. _If I keep being this much of a pushover I'm gonna loose my job._ Leaning his head back, he took in a breath and let it out before going to shut the door. When he looked up though, something caught his attention. At the corner of a building across the busy street, he spied a man in a dark green flannel shirt with a scruffy undercut. It was difficult to make out his face from across the street and only the lights of the next building illuminating the dark space around him. Could that be...? No of course not. The man appeared to be leaning casually against a brick wall. A man in a dark suit and blue tie came walking past. The younger man jutted out a foot just as he came so he tripped and fell to the pavement. Mako watched with increasing vexation as he saw the man in the green shirt helping the suited man back up. The older man appeared appreciative before turning and continuing on his way while the younger slid the wallet he had swiped into his back pocket.

"Kai!" Mako shouted, now certain that it was who he thought. Hearing his name Kai looked over his shoulder to see Mako on the other side of the street. Once he recognized Mako he gave a grin and a mock salute then took off running. Mako immediately shut the door of his police car and turned the key but the engine stalled. "Come on, come on! Not now!" Slamming his fists on the wheel he swung the door open again and jumped out of the car. He'd have to give chase on foot.

Pushing between the people crowding the sidewalk, he tore off after his quarry. Kai dodged between pedestrians with near astounding speed and agility. He came across a place where the traffic was jammed and sprinted into an alley as Mako used it as an opportunity to run across the street to where Kai had been. Turning a sharp corner then into another one, Kai watched as Mako eventually caught up and ran past unaware of his location. Believing that he had managed to outsmart the detective, he headed in the opposite direction and turned a corner around another building. This brought him face to face with Mako. Before Kai could turn and bolt in the other direction, Mako caught hold of his wrist, unbalanced the thief and wrestled him to the ground to handcuff him.

"You just can't keep yourself out of trouble can you?"

"I didn't _do_ anything!" Kai snapped.

"Then why did you run?" Mako fired back. He then yanked the wallet from Kai's back pocket, "and what's this?"

"I'm holding that for a friend," he lied.

"Yeah right," twenty-nine year old scoffed while getting to his feet and dragging Kai up to his own, "I'm sure the judge will totally understand." He pulled Kai back down the street to his car, attracting the attention of a few passers by. Opening the back door, he pushed Kai inside onto the hard, plastic seat. Moving back around to the front he got into the driver seat and tried to start the engine. This time it started without much resistance. _How convenient._ As he was about to push on the gas, he noticed someone running from up ahead. It was Jinora. Of course she was near by.

"Mako!" she called as she came to a stop on the sidewalk looking less than pleased, "what are you doing?"

"I just caught him stealing some guy's wallet, and he evaded arrest. I'm taking him back to jail."

Jinora looked over to the window of the police car that held Kai. The ire still burned red hot in her chest. She didn't want to help him. She wanted to let him go with Mako, let karma have it's way and let him have the justice he deserved. She could let him go. After how badly he had hurt and humiliated her what else could she do? But she had made a promise, and that promise was going to be kept no matter how much she resented it at the moment.

"Then you're taking me too."

"Pardon?"

"He's my husband. Where he goes, I go," she turned her head up again to look him squarely in the eye, "if you take him to jail, you're taking me and locking me in with him. If you take him back to the train depot to go home, that's where I'll go."

"Are you even _hearing_ yourself?!" Mako asked aghast, "Jinora he's broken his parole and I know he's guilty of a lot more that just that."

"I know, but that doesn't change the promise I made."

"To him? How much is a promise to him worth? Clearly it doesn't mean anything to him! Jinora, you shouldn't waste your time on him! He's going straight down to somewhere he can't get out of and he'll drag you with him."

"I didn't make that promise to only _him._"

"Then who else _did_ you make it to?"

"Someone," she answered tightly, "someone I'd rather not disappoint. Wherever you take him, I'm following. You don't just decide where he goes, you decide where I go."

Mako frowned at her in reluctance. Jinora could be as gentle as a summer breeze at times, at others she could be as stubborn and unmovable as a brick wall. He could see she wasn't saying this based on her own personal feelings, which only suggested she would be less easily swayed. Kai deserved to rot in jail but Jinora hadn't earned such a fate. She deserved to be behind bars about as much as she did being stuck with a loser like this. The fact that she was so willing to throw herself down for the likes of him was both amazing and disgusting. But her mind was made, and he knew from experience that once Jinora Changpa had made up her mind there was little one could do to change it.

"Fine," he said gruffly, "get in and I'll take you both to the train station, but if I catch him breaking any laws in this city again, he's going straight back to jail and there won't be any more bargaining for his freedom. Got it?"

She gave a solemn nod to him before she came to the back opposite the side of Kai and opened the door, allowing herself in and shutting it behind her so she was also locked in. Looking to her right she saw Kai with his head turned away. His shoulders were hunched up to his jaw. She could feel the knot in her throat and the pit of despair that was balled in her stomach and chest as she looked at him. It was matched only be her deep outrage and resentment. She couldn't look at him any longer and turned her head to look out her own window. Within the next half hour Mako had driven them to the train station back across town. The whole way was traveled in heavy silence. Mako didn't release Kai from the handcuffs until they were boarding the train. For the next three hours back to Jia and the hour back to the farm in the truck not a single word had been spoken between them. No apology, no explanation, not even a thanks for getting him out. While Jinora's heart was alight with fury, his was tackled with a hurricane of confusion and doubt. As he stared out at the moonlit hills, he remembered the night Jinora had taken him out to see the stars.

_It's too late,_ Kai thought to himself, _there's no way it'll ever be the same._ He could feel a lump forming in his throat and it felt as though the forces of gravity were weighing all of him down. _But why did she bring me back?_

**The Dai Li brought you back when you ran away.**

_She isn't like the Dai Li..._

**Everyone is like the Dai Li when they've been double crossed.**

By the time the truck pulled up on the dirt road it was already midnight. The chirps of firefly-crickets was the only thing to be heard. When they came inside the cabin he stood away from her. She quietly snatched a wrap from the closet before storming back outside. Kai climbed up to the loft and set himself down on the bed. As he did, he breathed in the familiar scent of the cotton blankets and pillows and felt a sense of warmth come over him. _I'm home..._ his eyes opened and he sat up straight to look over the interior of the cabin. Home. He had never thought of it as that before. Feeling the fabric of the blankets under his hands, shame and regret rapidly engulfed him._ What did I do?! She got me out of that jail cell and a life that I hated! She gave me a second chance and I betrayed her. I threw it away like it wasn't enough!_ Getting to his feet he went down the ladder. Maybe he could find her and apologize for real. That alone may not be enough but if she'd still let him stay he could spend the rest of his life helping her on the farm to make up for what he had done.

Grabbing a flashlight he went out to look for her. He checked the stable where he had seen her the last time but she wasn't there. He kept looking and looking but she was nowhere to be found. One last place came to mind. Pushing his way through the trees they had gone through that night, he switched off the flashlight as he came to the same clearing. Sure enough, she was there and she was again in tears. Keeping himself hidden in the trees, Kai could hear her weeping. The last time it had been soft, bearable... this time it was heart wrenching, anguished sobs that escaped her throat. When she was angry with him, it was easy to forget just how fragile her heart was. His mission abandoned, Kai turned and quickly but quietly fled to the cabin. He came up the porch and slapped the door shut behind him. Falling back against the wooden frame he sank to the floor, holding his head in his hands. It was like watching someone he had just stabbed bleeding to death after they had done nothing but good for him. He had sold himself to others when he belonged to her. He felt dirty, like the fingerprints of those who had touched him in that vile way remained on every inch of his skin. He hated the feeling. He needed a shower just to rid himself of it. Getting to his feet he grabbed a towel and went into the bathroom.

* * *

Back in the clearing Jinora sat in the grass alone. She must have been outside for a good half hour and she was exhausted. The whole day had seemed to be nothing but heartache after heartache. She could have tried meditating but she couldn't calm herself enough to even begin thinking of it. Closing her eyes and tightening her fists, she could feel another wave of tears forcing themselves up.

_Why did you tell me to marry him? Or did I hear wrong and it was it just my own body telling me I wanted him? What good can come from a marriage tainted by infidelity? Is faithfulness too much to ask for? When I dreamed of marrying I hoped for a man I could build a life with, but he doesn't even love me... _

_**Forgive him.**_

_How am I supposed to do that? He doesn't even care enough to want to be forgiven!_

**_He is your husband. Love him._**

_He's beyond help. I loved him so much I would die for him and this is all there is to show for it? A little fight is one thing but this-? No! This is too much! I can't listen to you anymore! You ask for the impossible! You can't fix a marriage that was made broken to begin with!_ Standing up she wiped away the last of her tears and turned to make the walk back to the cabin. Even as she did she felt the weight on her shoulders become heavier and heavier. By the time she reached the front door it was as though she were carrying a backpack loaded with bricks. Once inside she could see from under the door that the light in the bathroom was on and made her way past to climb up to the loft. She changed into her fleece nightwear and sat in the bed waiting._ You know what? Next time he tries to leave, I'll give him a ride back. I'm done with this aimless struggle. I can't spend the rest of my life like this!_ Jinora heard the bathroom door opening and closing and him coming up the ladder.

When he appeared he looked worn out and avoided her eyes. He was wearing his boxers with his upper body covered by a towel. As he sat on the bed across from her, something caught her eye. Reaching forward she yanked away part of the towel and saw what looked like a harsh sunburn splashed across his shoulder, arm and torso with light scratches scattered across the blemish. In an unusual act of modesty, Kai pulled back the towel to cover himself again but Jinora had already seen it.

"Kai, what is this?" she demanded as she pulled the towel away again.

"Nothing," he said wearily as he tried to take the towel back again but fell short as she flung it to the other side of the bed. He pulled away from her, not wanting her to touch him, "I just had t'get clean..."

"Until you've scrubbed yourself down to the bone?" she shook her head with her anger bubbling up again, "that's not how it works!" He remained silent and allowed his head to sink. Jinora watched him with raging turmoil just below the surface. She didn't want to feel pity for him, she wanted to knock some sense into him. The sight of the bruise on his neck brought on a wave of nausea as he slowly moved his hand to cover it shamefully.

"You shouldn't have come back for me," he said lowly.

"So this is_ my_ fault?" she asked with disbelief, "are you trying to make me feel bad for getting you out of life behind bars?"

"You don't understand, I _deserve_ to be there," Kai told her quietly as he looked away, "I'm not even supposed to exist."

"You're giving yourself to self-pity, Kai," she huffed, "you can't even see what's right in front of your eyes."

_**Neither can you.**_

"You think I don't know what I'm talking about?" he looked at her now, and she could see the hopelessness in his stare, "I heard my own mother say so. I was an _accident_. She would have had me taken out for good if my dad hadn't said something. She left me with him when I was three. Don't you get it? She was already married! She had other kids! She didn't want me! My dad took care of me before he died but I know that if he had known keeping me would mean loosing her he would have ditched me too!" Jinora remained silent as she watched him.

"They loved each other," Kai shut his eyes tight, "but she stopped loving him when I came around. We ended up living in a run down apartment on the edge of our village. He took care of me for a while. I listened t'him cry every night and watched him drown himself in drinks to make himself forget the pain. He lost his job because of it. He always pretended that everything was okay for my sake, but he couldn't hide how miserable he was even from a little kid. He died when I was five from cardiac arrest... he literally died of a broken heart." Kai smiled wryly at the irony before his expression became blank again. He then turned his head up to look at her, "I am not gonna let myself end up like him. After that I was landed in foster care. When I was eleven I got adopted but stole their life savings and took off. I got captured by the Dai Li and drafted into their new secret army meant t'be bodyguards for the queen. I tried escaping several times but they caught me and threw me back in. I met a guy named Yung and we became friends, but he died after one escape attempt and the Dai Li made an example of him to the other soldiers. After the queen was assassinated we all were let out. While Kuvira was taking over the country with her own army, I crossed the border into the United Republic. I ended up in Republic City in triad territory. Shady Shin and his gang found me and welcomed me in. When I was fourteen they decided they'd have their girls teach me a thing or two about being a grown up and how much 'fun' it could be. One thing led to another and I ended up where you found me."

_I had no idea..._ Jinora felt her anger melting away and being replaced by a more profound pain, but not for herself this time. It was so much easier being angry with him than it was to be given a window into the depths of his suffering. '_When I was fourteen...'_ her eyes shut tight, trying to block out the idea. No wonder he didn't see it as having anything to do with love. _Why?_ Jinora thought as tears built in her eyes. As she saw the distance in his she wondered when was the last time he had cried. The universe knew he needed to. W_hy did you let him go through this? Aren't spirits supposed to protect the innocent? He was just a kid... _"You blame yourself for all of this?"

"Who else am I supposed t'blame? Dad? He loved my mom and he loved me. He even loved the spirits, not that any of that ever did him any good. My mom? She had a right t'live her own life. She did what made_ her_ happy, what was right for her. Yung died because of_ my_ plan to escape. He took the blame for me because the Dai Li were extra hard on me as it was since I usually was the one standing up for him. It should have been me that got offed, he was just the poor guy that got in the way," Kai stared at the wall across the room, not wanting to look at her. Deep down in him, there had always been a small spark of light. In the past the Dai Li had always seen it and crushed it, then after he was away from them he kept it crushed with logic. Hope was a painful thing. It opened his heart to disappointment and disillusionment, but for whatever reason he had kept some of it alive. Did that spark mean there was some small piece of the old Kai left? He didn't know, but he didn't want Jinora to see it or risk letting it grow. He wasn't going to let her or anyone else anywhere near that last piece.

"Sometimes there isn't just one person to blame," Jinora spoke quietly, a new level of understanding caused her hostility to disintegrate, "you've encountered so many people who were hurting, and they passed their pain on to you."

"But I wasn't powerless t'stop it," he replied with tightness in his voice, "I could've told the Dai Li the truth and Yung would be okay, but I was a coward and let him take the fall for me. I lied t'save my own skin. When Shin and his gang took me in I did all sorts of stuff with them because they took me in. There were people who looked down on me and judged me for it, and I thought they were the ones that had something wrong with them. I was having fun, I was being me, I was enjoying myself... I thought I was living more of a life than they were... I was doing what was right for me and nobody got hurt anymore... you can't hurt people who don't really care, and you can't hurt them if you just say the right words pretending that you do."

"You want something from me that I haven't got t'give you, I _can't_ love you," he began, "I can't because I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter who did what t'me, I can't pretend it didn't happen. Nothing you say or do can change the things that made me who I am. I'm a criminal and that's all I'm ever gonna be. I'm not destined t'be anything more than that. I saw you crying just a few minutes ago and the last time too! You can't tell me you still want me to stay. There' no possible way this can work."

"That's not true!" Jinora told him firmly while reaching to take hold of his hand. She finally understood, and it cut her to the core, "it can work. It will. I'll make it work. I swore I'd be faithful to you and I'm not going back on it now."

"You will eventually," Kai said as he leaned back against the headboard of the bed, "then you'll move on t'find someone better, and I'll go back t'that same old life."

"Do you think I'm much better than you?" she asked. Just moments before she had found satisfaction in thoughts of revenge against him for hurting her. What difference did it make if she thought it but didn't do it? She still felt that strong desire to fire that pain back at him. Her anger blinded her to how lost and broken he was, because she truly believed that he deserved it. She even renounced that very voice she had always trusted. That voice told her to love him, forgive him... and she ignored it like it had never done anything for her but cause her misery. "I can't send you away without tearing myself in half," she remembered the pain she had felt when she realized he really was gone, "we're part of each other now."

"I spent the first five years of my life watching my dad suffer for loving a woman with all his heart," he said heavily, "so even if it was possible for me t'love you, I wouldn't."

"A woman that wasn't his to love," Jinora pointed out, "that isn't the case here." Getting up from the bed, she crossed the room to where she had folded the clothes she had worn that day. Kai watched silently as she took something from the pocket and returned to her place beside him. Holding out the ring in her palm, she smiled gently. "Just a reminder that it's official." He stared for a few seconds with no understanding of why she was actually offering it back after all that had happened. He delayed before carefully taking the ring and pushing it back onto his finger.

"It's not gonna change anything," he sighed hopelessly, "you said so yourself, I can't just wash away what happened. It's carved in stone now." He didn't want to let himself love her the way his father had loved Yanling. _I don't want to spend the remainder of my life drinking my sorrows away alone and broke._

"Then it'll be buried. You can't wash it away with soap and water, but what you need is a spiritual cleansing," she said while taking his hand and holding it with both of hers, "it's going to take time and work, but if you're willing to try it, it'll make all the difference. We'll just take it one day at a time." _Oh forgive me, you told me to love him and I didn't listen. I was too focused on my own pain to even care about healing or showing mercy..._

"So you still want t'keep me around for now."

"For always," she corrected, "I hope you'll want to stay.

"Just like that? It's that easy?"

"Exactly like that. It's complicated and it will take time to unravel it all, but all you have to do is just choose to trust me."

Kai was skeptical to say the least, but he was tired of doing things his way. It never got him anywhere worth going and it only brought him down to a pitiful existence. With a tired breath he nodded slightly. "Okay... I'll do it your way." He felt Jinora's arms move around his torso and her head rested against his reddened chest. After a few moments she raised her chin and kissed his lips softly. For the first time, she could feel him beginning to relax. His hand was slowly placed against her upper back and she could feel him lightly gripping the loose fabric of her shirt. The two laid down together and Jinora remained nestled close beside him with her head moved to fit under his cheek. Out of the guilt and shame that Kai felt, an even worse feeling began to grow. That spark was turning into a flame.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for making you guys wait so long for this chapter and I know it was probably a bit more gritty than you expected, but I hope you enjoyed it (Don't worry the next chapter is going to be lighter). Reviews are always appreciated. Constructive criticism only please. :). I wasn't planning on uploading this today since I'm still pretty far behind in my writing (but it's Good Friday so 'tis the season). There likely won't be another chapter next week, but this is the longest one so far. I hope it will be enough to satisfy until the next chapter is up. Thank you for your patience.


	9. Another Way

_It's a little bit of hope of sweet redemption,_

_Maybe taking time to stop and listen,_

_Just being there, show someone that you care,_

_It's living a life with your hands wide open,_

_Giving all that you got to a heart that is broken,_

_\- 33 Miles (What Grace Looks Like)_

* * *

The next few days came and went slowly. Since Kai and Jinora had returned home the sky became overcast and rain began to fall heavily on the farm. Chores had to be done during breaks in the weather while most of they day was spent under the cover of a roof. Ikki and Meelo asked about what had happened in Republic City and thankfully Tenzin was there to dismiss their inquiries. Neither Tenzin nor Pema questioned what had happened that day, but took notice of the extra work Kai threw in to his chores. On the outside it looked like someone eager to help out and the two elders saw this as promising though Jinora knew better. Much to her dismay rather than getting closer, Kai only seemed to be distancing himself even more by taking on chores at every opportunity he could. When he finished one, he came back asking for another. He couldn't spend five minutes standing idle. Even when they worked together his thoughts seemed so focused on the task at hand that he couldn't pay much attention to whoever was with him.

_He's running himself ragged trying to make up for what he did, _she thought to herself somberly. She crossed her arms in front of her and rested them on the back of the couch she was sitting on in the farm house. When he said he would do things her way this was far from what she had in mind. The couch was set under the window so as she looked outside she could see Kai carrying poles of wood that would be used to repair a fence post. The only thing she could hear was Meelo and Rohan shouting excitedly as they were in the family room playing games.

"Jinora, is everything alright?"

She looked up to see her father coming into the living room from the kitchen across the hall. Returning her eyes to the window she took a breath before answering.

"It's Kai," she admitted, "he's been taking on a lot more chores recently..."

"He doesn't seem bothered by it," Tenzin observed, "do you believe he's overworking himself?"

"He's better at hiding it than you think. He did the same thing after we had that fight a few weeks back. I don't think he gets that he's off the hook. I've tried talking to him but every time I try to explain it he just gives me this blank look like I'm speaking in some ancient language," she groaned. He had poured his heart out to her that night and there he was continuing to bleed and not allowing the healing to come in. Did he even understand what grace was or what it meant to be forgiven? It seemed like the two concepts were beyond his comprehension. "It's like he's trying to earn something that's already freely his."

"Hmm..." Tenzin stoked his beard thoughtfully as he looked out the window toward Kai. "Would you have me talk to him?"

"If you can get him to listen to you, you'll be my hero," Jinora said as she rested her cheek on her knuckles.

"It's worth a try," he told her before moving toward the front door. Jinora looked on as her father went outside and made his way over to her husband. She could see Kai putting on a smile when Tenzin approached him. How genuine it appeared to be was almost haunting_. I wonder how many other people have smiled at me like that while hiding how lost they really feel... _Jinora watched how his expression changed as Tenzin spoke to him. It fell to that same blank, unreadable look. She couldn't tell if he was listening or zoning out as Tenzin was speaking to him. Not for the first time she wished she had some sort of super enhanced hearing just to know exactly what it was her father was saying. Kai seemed completely oblivious to Jinora's presence in the window. At the end of it he only nodded and shrugged weakly before turning away while Tenzin returned to the front door. Getting up from the couch Jinora took the few steps toward the front door and met him there.

"Did he listen to you?" she asked

"I told him that I want him to go with you into town to buy replacement gardening tools for your mother and refuel the truck," he told her.

"That's it?" her eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"It's still work, just less straining," Tenzin lowered his chin as he looked at her.

"Right," her shoulders slumped, "baby steps..." Jinora's eyes raised as she felt her father rest his large hand on her small left shoulder.

"You're worried about him."

"I care way to much to _not _be worried," she admitted as she ran her hand through her hair, "I don't know what to do."

"Stop worrying," Tenzin tightened his grip on her shoulder gently but reassuringly, "one thing I learned while you were away is that worry never does any good to anyone. It's like one of your brothers' games. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." Jinora paused to let the words sink in. Her father always had something wise to say on matters such as this and it made sense. Worrying would only cause herself more stress and it wouldn't help Kai in any way. Still, she couldn't get the things he had told her out of her mind. They came back with a kick every time she looked at him. Since that night she had ceased to see him as the criminal that stood behind the bars in that jail cell, but as the lost and hurt orphan that believed he didn't belong anywhere. She glanced back toward the window before returning her attention to the old man with a small, sympathetic smile.

"We haven't been able to spend a lot of time together since I got back huh?"

"It's understandable," Tenzin smiled warmly back at her.

"But we've been here for almost a year now and we go back to the city this fall," she continued, "maybe when we go into town you should come with us. It'll give you two a real chance to bond too."

"I'm not so sure," he sighed.

"It's just for today."

Tenzin avoided her eyes. The truth was that he had little interest in knowing Kai. Under different circumstances he might have sought an immediate separation between the two but between Jinora being a self supporting adult and their marriage the law was on their side despite what little he knew of Kai's past and apparent disinterest in her. Wherever Kai's loyalties were, they certainly weren't with Jinora.

"Jinora," he started, looking away as he was unable to meet the eager look in her eyes. One would have thought that age and experience would tamper with her optimism, yet she showed no sign of hesitation when she invited him to know Kai as though she already knew him inside and out. "I'm just very unsure about this man."

"Your son in-law," she reminded him as she folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head with a raised brow and eyes half open. He could have sworn she looked and sounded identical to her mother right then.

"Yes, well..." he breathed out through his nose.

"Practice what you teach, Dad," her lips curved slightly in amusement, her eyes lightening, "you just told me not to worry."

"This isn't worry, it's concern," he corrected her, "there's a difference."

"Come with us," she insisted, "who knows, you just might find something about him that you like."

Though Tenzin was still unsure he nodded in acceptance. Refusing the offer certainly wouldn't help matters but at the same time he didn't want her hopes to get too high. They both looked to the doorway as Kai appeared having set down the work he was doing.

"Are we going?"

"Yes, and Dad is coming with us," she said as she moved past him.

Kai watched her for a moment before following with Tenzin not far behind. They climbed into the truck with Tenzin driving and Jinora sitting between him and Kai. As he leaned an elbow against the open widow, Kai looked outside and tried not to pay much attention to the strange way it was taking three people to run some simple errands. Once they were on the road Jinora leaned forward in her seat to turn on the truck's radio. The song that was playing was an energetic and upbeat piece of music.

"I didn't know there were stations out here," Kai commented.

"We have only five but fortunately three of them play great music while the other two are just talk," Jinora answered while checking the volume to a level that was fully enjoyable but low enough to keep voices from being raised. The music played the sound of drums and on it came with a catchy beat and a singer whose voice strongly implied that he was smiling like an idiot. For most of the way it was the only sound filling the truck. Close to a half hour after leaving the farm a disturbing sputter and squeal sounded from the engine.

"Engine trouble? I thought you guys fixed it. "

"We did," Tenzin replied as he raised his brows in surprise. The bald man pulled the truck over to the side of the road near a small grove of trees and switched the engine off before unlocking his buckle and opening the door to move to the front of the truck to lift the hood. Jinora leaned out the open door while Kai stuck his head out the opposite window as though trying to get some small view of what was going on.

"What is it?" he asked.

"The serpentine belt is shredded," Tenzin reported as he stood back and placed one hand to his bearded chin with the other on his hip.

"Can you fix it?" Jinora asked.

"I'd need a replacement and I don't have one," he shook his head no.

"Can we go without for a few more miles?" she asked.

"I'm afraid not. If we go any further the engine will take on permanent damage. We'd have to replace the whole thing and it can't run without a belt."

"So we're stuck out here?" Kai's voice came dangerously close to whining.

"Our only other option is walking," the elder confirmed.

"Can't we call Daw or something?"

"You won't be able to get a signal out here."

"It's going to rain soon," Jinora reminded her father, gesturing to the dense clouds overhead while Kai double checked his phone to be sure that what Tenzin was saying was in fact the truth, "and heavy rain by the looks of it. Should we really be walking in it?"

"Normally I'd say no," Tenzin sighed, "but it's either that or wait here for another vehicle to come by and there's no telling how long that may be."

"Kai? What do you think?" she asked. Looking up Kai met her eyes then turned his head to see Tenzin also looking at him expectantly. Unsure of exactly what either option would entail, he only knew that he didn't want to be cooped up in a rust bucket for an indefinite amount of time yet he was unsure about leaving the shelter its roof provided. He gave a small half shrug.

"I can do either way, I guess."

"So we're all in agreement," Jinora concluded albeit uncertainly while reaching over to the glove compartment to grab an umbrella that she hoped was still inside. Once she felt the handle in her hand she slid the compact cover into her pocket.

"We better start moving if we're going to make it before dark," Tenzin said as he pulled a jacket from behind the drivers seat. Once Jinora was out of the truck Kai emerged from the other side and shut the door behind him before the three began to continue on their way down the road leaving the old truck behind. The breeze picked up around fifty yards from the truck and the wind chill began to creep in. After they had been walking for a good fifteen minutes Jinora spoke up.

"When we get there are we going to call mom and just have Daw drive us back or are we still getting the stuff we need?"

"Depending on when we get there we can stay at the inn for the night, get what we need in the morning and have Daw drive us back to the truck after we've purchased a new belt. Then we can take it the rest of the way back," Tenzin answered.

As they were talking Jinora had begun to point out some flowers that were beginning to bloom at the edge of the tall grass that lined the road and shared facts on how they were pollinated and how in some places they grew to be five feet tall. She also pointed out the different species of insects and small animals that crossed the path before them. Kai listened passively. Leave it to Jinora to turn a long hike to town into a nature walk. Within the next minute he felt small drop of water hit the end of his nose. The drop was followed by more until a light drizzle began to fall on the three. Jinora took the umbrella from her pocket and opened it though Kai chose instead to lift his hood and stay out from under the shelter it provided to her and Tenzin until the drizzle turned into a harder fall which finally prompted him to move in close beside them.

"Does this kind of stuff happen out here a lot?" Kai asked.

"You'd be surprised," Tenzin answered ruefully.

"At least it's not like the snowstorm we had two years ago," Jinora added to throw in some positivity, "we were snowed in for a whole week and couldn't get into town for groceries so we had to survive on whatever we could make from what was in the pantry with zero snacking, plus our pipes froze so we had to take the snow from outside and heat it up to have water for drinking and bathing."

"Your life sounds like something from a history book."

"Well you can't say we aren't resourceful," she smiled at him with mild gaiety.

"Speaking of resourceful," Tenzin cut in and looked over his shoulder as the sound of tires on the asphalt came from behind, "I believe we may have found an escort."

Turning around Jinora and Kai could see the small van that was pulling up along the side of the road next to them. The windows were rolled down and inside was a middle aged man behind the wheel with a woman in the seat nearest to them. They could see some children watching them through the back window.

"Taking a little afternoon stroll?" the driver and presumably the father of the bunch smiled good naturedly at them.

"Our truck broke down a few miles back," Tenzin replied.

"We saw it on our way here," the woman nodded, "do you folks need a ride?"

"That would be greatly appreciated," he answered.

"Hop in," the man jerked a thumb toward the back, "there's just enough room for the three of you."

"Thank you very much."

The door was slid open for them by a young girl who appeared to be around thirteen. Jinora took a place beside her in the middle row while Tenzin came in beside two young girls that were watching the strangers with curious looks and appeared to be around eight and nine years of age. The only seat left for Kai was near the front with a small toddler in a booster seat that was holding a plastic toy komodo-rhino.

"My name is Lee Yamamoto, by the way," he man introduced himself before gesturing to the dark haired woman in the passenger seat, "and this is my wife, Aimi. That's our eldest, Kasumi, that's Hitomi and Hotaru, and our son Yoshio."

"It's nice to meet you," Tenzin smiled warmly at them, "my name is Tenzin Changpa, this is my daughter, Jinora and son in-law, Kai." While the others talked Jinora noticed the girl sitting next to her was about to escape into her music with an ear bud already fit to one ear.

"What are you listening to?" she asked curiously.

"Elemental Force," she answered and offered one end to Jinora, "you wanna listen?"

"Sure."

While Jinora listened to music and Tenzin spoke to the two heads of the family, Kai tried to ignore how little Yoshio was holding the toy komodo-rhino in his face. Were these people nuts? They'd let a group of grown up strangers ride with them in their cramped van full of kids? It made no sense to him. He chose to listen in on the conversation between Tenzin, Lee and Aimi. He learned that the family was from the Fire Nation until they had moved to the suburbs of Republic City and they were on their way back from a vacation to a camping resort near the border.

"I think Yoshio likes you," Aimi pointed out to Kai somewhere during the conversation.

"What makes you say that?"

"He's trying to share his favorite toy with you," she nodded toward the komodo-rhino. Kai looked at the toddler and saw he was still holding out the toy with an insistent expression on his small face. With a sigh Kai relented and finally took the object.

"Cool rhino," he commented halfheartedly to the kid who was boasting a proud smile and gesturing to the toy. "You want it back?" Kai then offered to pass it back to the boy but the child rejected it leaving him confused. If Yoshio could speak he would be able to tell him what he wanted Kai to do but since he couldn't it was like trying to sort through a puzzle of gestures and incoherent sounds.

"He wants you to-to play with it," Hotaru translated with a stammer in her soft voice.

"No thanks, I don't play with toys anymore," Kai answered before setting the toy down beside Yoshio's booster seat.

"Why not?" Hitomi asked.

"Because I'm a grown up."

"So?"

"Girls, leave him be," Lee called them off, "if he doesn't want to play with it, then he doesn't have to."

"It's not us, it's what Yoshio wanted," Hitomi pouted as she slumped back in her seat with her arms folded over her chest.

For the rest of the way Yoshio kept trying to get Kai's attention and Kai continued trying to decipher exactly what it was the toddler wanted. After almost a half hour of driving they finally reached the inn on the outskirts of Jia. The two groups unloaded from the van and went to the lobby together and Tenzin excused himself to call Daw. It was only once they were out of the van that it was clear that Aimi was expecting their fifth child. Kai had to wonder what kind of people would willingly drive themselves insane by having so many kids when he could barely comprehend one. Meanwhile Jinora joined the Yamamotos in checking out their room. Kai stood off to the side, hands in pockets, waiting for them to finish. As he did Yoshio appeared beside him again and smiled up at him with his toy still in his tiny hands.

"I'll never understand kids," Kai muttered to himself.

"You were one once too you know." He looked up to see Jinora approaching from the front desk. Stooping down she scooped the small boy into her arms. "And _you_ should be with your mama and papa."

"Are you sure you should be picking up a strangers' kid?" Kai asked with a look that almost hinted at concern, "I don't think they'd like it."

"We're not strangers anymore, Kai," she smiled. "In fact they wanted to invite us to join them for dinner at Jong's Place tonight in case we aren't able to make it home."

"People don't just pop out of nowhere to give free rides. We don't know anything about these people," he exclaimed while being sure to keep his voice low so they wouldn't overhear.

"We know that they're willing to help three people stuck in the middle of nowhere rather than just keep driving and pretend they didn't see us like _many_ people would," she told him as she gently kept Yoshio from falling out of her arms as he leaned out, "someday soon you'll have to learn that not everyone in the world is out to take something from you."

Kai remained silent as he lowered his eyes toward the ground. Something about the way she said those last words had struck him. By the time he looked up again Jinora was halfway across the lobby with Yoshio, taking him to his parents who were already starting to look for their room. Tenzin appeared a few short moments later clearly discontent with what he heard in his conversation over the phone. Taking a seat in a chair near a small coffee table, Kai waited as Tenzin made his way over.

"Daw is sick and bed ridden. He says he won't be able to drive us back until tomorrow at the earliest," he sighed while placing a hand on his hip. Glancing around he noticed that the others had already gone, "Where is Jinora?"

"She went with the Yamamtos t'help them get settled in their room," Kai explained without looking at Tenzin.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he brushed off.

"Are you sure?"

Kai was caught slightly off guard by the continuation of the question and vaguely irritated. At first he had been surprised by what for a moment appeared to be genuine concern from Tenzin, but quickly reminded himself of how many others had faked interest for various reasons. Most of them being so they could tell themselves that they actually cared when they didn't.

"Yes, I'm sure," he answered casually. The younger man tried to ignore the older one as he sat in the chair beside him.

"Because Jinora seems to think that you've been overworking yourself and I'm beginning to think she's right," he kept his eyes trained on Kai. There it was again. That same focused look that Jinora had given him so many times. It made Kai feel like he was under a microscope and he just wanted out. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he offered a teasing smile.

"People think too much."

"Perhaps, but that doesn't necessarily mean what they think is wrong."

"I'm just trying t'do my part," he shook his head dismissively, "I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Of course there's nothing wrong with that. Doing your part is a good thing. An _important _thing," Tenzin agreed though his voice suggested he had more to say, "but it seems to us that you are doing more than just your own part."

"There's not much t'do out there," Kai said while avoiding Tenzin's gaze, "I need _something_ t'keep me busy."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need to be so busy all the time?" Tenzin asked, "I don't suppose it's because you have a great deal of energy to spare."

Kai felt his jaw tighten and his muscles tensing. Was this man trying to play shrink with him? Crossing his arms over his chest defensively he leaned back in his seat and hunched his shoulders while doing his best to maintain a calm appearance.

"I just like getting things done," he answered while unable to keep the tension from his voice, "nothing more, nothing less."

"I'm not trying to pry into anything," Tenzin told him, "I'd just like to let you know that if there is anything that's bothering you, you don't have to be afraid to seek counsel. It can take great burdens off your shoulders and shine light on a dark situation."

Kai could see that Tenzin was being sincere and was half tempted to unload all that had happened in Republic City but every muscle between his nose and shoulders became paralyzed by his doubts. Jinora was Tenzin's daughter. If he had any clue what had really happened he would likely show little to no mercy. There was a long list of men and women who had sent Kai death threats in the past over things that had been their own kid's choice and he never had any interest in facing their fury. Breaking Jinora's heart the way he did warranted a much greater show of justice. Although Tenzin was an old timer he looked like he could still throw a good punch and he was much taller than Kai._ He's nice enough now, but that's just because he doesn't know the truth, _Kai thought to himself while faking an appreciative smile, _and he's not gonna hear it from me._

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks." In moments both looked up to see Jinora coming out of the hallway to meet them.

"So, do we have a plan?" she asked while looking at Tenzin.

"We'll get the things we need and stay at the inn. Daw is ill and won't be driving so I called your mother to let her know we won't be home tonight."

"Do we have a room?"

"I can check out a room for us and prepare dinner after you two go into town to pick up the tools and some groceries while you're at it."

"Don't bother with cooking," Jinora nodded, "Lee and Aimi already invited us to have dinner with their family at Jong's, but we'll go ahead and get our things."

Leading the way she headed out the door while Kai trailed behind. She opened the umbrella and they stepped into the rain. The heavy drops drummed on the flimsy fabric of the umbrella and slid off in small streams. The rain was so thick that putting down the cover for a mere five seconds would leave both soaked to the bone. After crossing the parking lot they passed through a park with a colorful structures made for child play. Kai looked at the playground. It was difficult for him to believe that there had ever been a time that he would have been excited at the sight of such simplistic frameworks. Left abandoned in the downpour it almost seemed like the ghost of a time long forgotten.

"Kai?" The thoughts faded as he snapped his attention to Jinora who was looking at him with questioning eyes, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he told her with boredom laced in his voice, "I'm just sick if all this rain."

Jinora didn't appear to be completely convinced but she said nothing more. Instead she took his hand in hers and held it. She had caught the distant look as they approached the hardware store and her heart ached. His hand felt cold and weak in hers and despite the tone of his voice and the neutral expression on his face she could see that same weakness in his eyes.

"You seemed to be getting along with Yoshio pretty well earlier," she told him as she decided to focus on the positive.

"Clearly I'm a hit with little kids and animals for no apparent reason."

"They say children and animals are the best at recognizing someone with a soft heart, I wouldn't argue with that," she told him with a smile. The two continued on to the hardware and grocery stores to get what was needed. Along the way Jinora had been stopped by several different people who recognized her and were curious about Kai. Each one was a stranger to him but they greeted her like an old friend. He had been introduced to one of the people who worked at the front desk in the town's library, a friend that worked at the local gas station and three elders that she had aided in the past. By the time they were headed back to the inn they had crossed paths with seven people that knew her. Jinora held the umbrella in one hand with her mom's new tools in the other while Kai towed the groceries.

"I take it you were pretty popular back in the day?" he asked.

"Not really, I've just lived here for a long time and not a lot of people leave," she smiled, "we moved here from Republic City when I was ten. My dad used to be on the city council until they switched to having a president after the Equalist Revolution. The farm always belonged to my family but for a long time no one had lived here. We came back, fixed it up and started living off the land."

"You make it sound like it was easy."

"It wasn't," she shook her head, "I had to say goodbye to a lot of friends and I wasn't so great at making new ones especially since I was being home schooled in such a small town. I was always the quiet girl that had her nose stuck in a book and tried not to draw too much attention to myself. I was never much of a 'people person' like Ikki or Meelo."

"What changed?"

"Me," she smiled wryly, "I decided I wanted to go back to the city for college and half of the town threw a huge celebration for me. Most of the people who live here go to college online because they don't want to leave and everyone was excited that I was going to do something huge. A big going away party and everyone made such a fuss over me that I just wanted to get out as soon as possible." Kai continued to listen quietly. "So I got there and on my first day I was given this placement test. It was going to determine once and for all if I was in the right major... my whole life I had dreamed of being a literature teacher and that's what I was aiming for. It's why I left home, it was my whole life's dream because I love history and reading and passing my knowledge on... but I failed the test."

"What-?" this confused Kai. Jinora was as intelligent as anyone he had ever met if not much more. It made no sense that she wouldn't be able to pass a college placement test on any subject. He himself had never taken one but he was aware that they were supposed to be the easy ones, "you must have retaken it and passed right? You were going t'the college before you brought me here."

"Not exactly. When the professor laid the test down in front of me, I froze up because I realized something. Back home I was the biggest fish in the tank, but I had just been thrown into the ocean. Everyone else tore through that test like it was a preschool crossword puzzle and there I was going into literature and I couldn't even understand what the questions were asking me. I've read lot of books but most of the ones they asked about were ones I had never even heard of, questions like, 'which of these books does this passage come from?' I panicked and went through answering what I could but for the most part it was all gibberish to me. I finished the test about an hour after everyone else and most of my answers were all guesses. I left that classroom feeling like a total failure," Jinora's eyes were cast toward the ground as they walked, the rain lightened some but continued to fall, "I knew I wasn't getting into the major I wanted and I didn't know what to do. I thought I should just go home and take an easier course online, but I didn't want to face my family after they had already paid for me to go to this college and had thrown a big party for me. How could I go back and say 'Look, I graduated with a Graduates Equivalency Degree at _sixteen_, amazed my peers with my abilities, had the chance to follow my dreams and I've wasted my great opportunity because I wasn't good enough'." Kai watched her with growing sympathy. He couldn't understand what it was like to have someone be so confident in his abilities only to watch him fall short. Though she was very fortunate to have had the opportunity in the first place and he could see that she was aware of this. Seeing that she was going to continue, he remained quiet.

"That night I went to the city park and I was _angry_. I thought when I stepped out and took a big chance that's when things were supposed to look up. I was angry with myself for being so foolish and mad at the spirits because I felt like everything I did was for them. Then while I was quietly sitting by myself near the pond something happened... I felt some kind of presence and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt at peace, warm and deeply loved. Then I heard this voice speaking deep inside me. It said to me, 'The things that worry you, don't worry Me. The things that hold you down, are insignificant to Me. Trust Me, and you'll be free'. I didn't understand that at all and then It told me to go back to the school. I was scared because the whole class saw me fail so miserably, I was humiliated and I knew someone would say _something. _I'd never be able to live it down. But it was either trust this voice or go home and hide. So the next day I went back, the professor came up to me and he confirmed my fears. I didn't make it into the major I wanted."

"Then he told me that he was aware of my background in agriculture and my interest in nature. He offered for me to be placed into an ecology major. I was never really into the actual scientific research, just the fun facts and things I read about. I thought it was better than going back so I had the classes registered and scheduled last minute. I had no clue what I was doing, but that voice kept telling me that It would do something great. I met you shortly after I had just won first place in a competition for making a model of a more efficient wind turbine for harnessing the renewable energy so it could reduce pollution in the city. If I had actually managed to pass that first placement test I never would have been able to study abroad in different environments around the world like jungles, coral reefs, deserts, and grasslands. I wouldn't have nearly as many amazing memories and experiences, or make the friends I did in those places. Same thing if I had chosen to go home. It was not what I had in mind for myself, it was actually much better. Sometimes I think a calling rarely is what we picture ourselves doing."

"And you still think that voice is some sort of spirit?" Kai asked skeptically to conceal his interest in her story. He had never personally met anyone with a success story quite like hers. It was as though in the midst of her being prepared to give up, good fortune landed right in her lap. As he watched her he could see her sober expression growing into an irrepressible smile with a glimmer of delight in her eyes.

"If It _is_ a spirit, It's different from the other ones," she shrugged, "It's always teaching me new things about life. Since I started listening, I find that I'm living a life that I'm much more happy with and when I stumble and make mistakes It doesn't give up on me. Over the years I've been made fun of because I won't do things that everyone else says is normal, and I try not to compromise the moral standards this Spirit gave me as long as I keep a clear head. I was already a vegetarian and I meditated a lot because that's what I grew up into, but there's a difference between head knowledge and actually living in the reality of what I learn and believe. It's like looking at a picture versus experiencing the real thing. I can say I have an amazing life, and I wouldn't trade a moment of it."

"Even what happened just last week?"

Jinora's eyes squeezed shut as she felt the stab of pain in her chest. Kai watched her smile vanish and felt deep remorse. Why was it that everything he said seemed to be filtered through his own past regrets? It had slipped out all too easily. Was he incapable of leaving it alone? Jinora looked up at him with a fainter smile though the spark wasn't gone from her.

"I'd be lying to say it doesn't still hurt, but I'm healing. As for you, if you can't get past the regret, it's better to forget."

"And if I_ can't_ forget?" he asked while struggling to keep his hold of a grocery bag that was slipping from his hand.

"Then just remember that it was a past chapter, and today is the beginning of a whole new book. You're not the same person you were yesterday and you won't be the same person tomorrow. The past can ruin your future, but only if you allow it."

Kai remained silent for the rest of the walk back to the inn. How could someone stop the past from ruining their future if it did? Was there any real control over that? The only sound to be heard was the patter of the rain on the sidewalk. Eventually they reached the inn and Jinora approached the front desk asking which room they were in. The man gave her the room number and a key and they made their way down the hall and allowed themselves in. After putting the groceries away near the room's kitchenette and the tools beside one of the two beds. Jinora offered for Kai to stay and settle in while she went out to look for her father to see where he had gone. Once she was out the door Kai fell back against the bed. After only a few moments he was on his feet and moving, unable to stay still. If he did he would be plagued by the dark thoughts that always came to him when he was alone and had nothing to distract himself with. Grabbing a remote from beside the television he switched it on and sat back to try and calm his nerves with cheesy reality TV. Within a matter of minutes there was a light rapping at the door. Getting to his feet, Kai crossed the room and looked out the small peep hole. Unable to see anyone he opened the door but as he checked the hall no one seemed to be there.

_Ding-dong ditchers of haunted inn?_ he thought to himself with an exasperated pull at the corner of his mouth before shutting the door. Running a hand back through his hair he returned to where he sat on the bed. After turning up the volume and laying back against the pillows he ceased to think about it. As he stared at the screen he thought he briefly caught a glimpse of movement off to the side of his vision. Figuring that it was likely just a fly-moth he opted to ignore it until a muffled sound came from under the bed. _What the-?_ Kai waited and listened for a moment and heard the sound again. It was almost like a stifled giggle. Leaning over the side of the bed he hung his head near the floor to look under the mattress. Appearing upside down in his view, between the bed and the floor he could see a small face of little Yoshio smiling back at him.

"What're you doing in here?" he asked in surprise as he moved to the floor and leaned down to get a clearer view of the child. He didn't like the idea of Yoshio's parents coming around and finding their kid in a stranger's room, "you gotta go. You're not supposed t'be in here."

The toddler simply offered a giddy grin before crawling out from under the bed on the other side. Moving fast Kai leaped over the bed, placed a hand on the boy's small shoulder and began to herd him toward the door. Yoshio attempted to slide out from under Kai's arm but was quickly caught and hurriedly nudged outside. Once they were in the hall Kai took a step away from Yoshio and looked around for any sign of his family.

"Go back t'your parents, I'm sure they don't want you here with me," he tried to say, unsure if the wide-eyed kid could understand him. Uncomfortably he slowly closed the door. Taking a deep breath he turned and was about to return to the television when he heard a sound outside the door that made his stomach drop. _No. No, no, no!_ Returning to the door he opened it and found Yoshio sitting on the floor, red in the face and wailing with tears streaming from his eyes. Getting down on his knees he awkwardly tried to pat the boy's back, "Shh, shh! No, stop crying! It's okay! Please, don't cry!" _I've managed to make a grown woman and a little kid cry in the span of less than a week, I must be a real hero._

A sharp cry from Yoshio caused Kai to fall back in panic. _What do I do, what do I do?!_ he looked around for any sign of someone who would help him. Where were his parents?! One of his sisters? Jinora? Tenzin? Anyone? Looking back at Yoshio he briefly recalled what Jinora had said about her hopes for them to have a family. _She actually wants this? If I didn't question her sanity before, I sure do now._ Kai had to think fast if he was going to be able to get Yoshio to stop crying. An idea came to him but it was too ridiculous. But then again, perhaps it was just ridiculous enough to work. Something he used to do with his childhood friends just to make each other laugh and no one else was around to see it.

"Hey, hey Yoshio look at me," he told the boy. Yoshio looked up with his mouth still hanging slightly in shallow cry. As he did Kai raised his brows, crossed his eyes and bit his lip in the most goofy expression that came to mind. The boy's cries began to fade into whimpers then to soft giggles as the man beside him shifted through a series of silly looks. Believing that it was working he stopped momentarily only to watch the crying resume. His heart sank further and he forced himself to continue looking foolish.

"What's going on?" Jinora's voice called from down the hall. Kai looked over his shoulder to see her coming toward him and Yoshio.

"He sneaked into the room and I put him out here but now he's crying and I can't get him t'stop!" Kai hurriedly explained. Hearing this, Jinora knelt down on the other side of the toddler and gently soothed a hand over his tiny back.

"There, there, what's wrong Yoshio?" she asked, "can you tell me why you're so sad?"

"Myno," he croaked.

"What was that?"

"My whino."

"His rhino," she looked up at Kai, "he had a toy with him earlier right? Did you see where he left it?"

"I dunno if he even had it when he came into the room," he shook his head.

"Go check," she instructed. As she stayed to comfort Yoshio, Kai did as she suggested and went back into the room. Checking the floor he couldn't see any sign of the plastic toy. Dropping down beside the bed he looked under and spotted the toy laying less than a foot away from him. Reaching under he pulled the toy komodo-rhino out from under the bed and jumped to his feet to get back out the door. Once he was back with Jinora and Yoshio he stooped down to offer the boy his toy back. With the tears quickly drying, Yoshio reached out and took the rhino then held it close to his tiny chest. Looking up at Jinora, Kai raised a questioning brow at her.

"You still big on the idea of having one of these?"

"I said later," she shrugged with a sheepish smile.

_Forget it. It's never gonna happen,_ Kai thought though he said nothing and his expression remained neutral.

"Come on," she nodded as she scooped little Yoshio into her arms, "let's get him back to his parents."

The two walked down the hall until they found Kasumi coming around a corner. A look of relief swept over her as she strode quickly to meet them.

"There you are you little bug," she said as she came forward to take Yoshio from Jinora. Once her younger brother was settled with his arms around her neck Kasumi looked up at Jinora and Kai, "we've been looking everywhere for him. Where was he?"

"This master of stealth slicked his way into our room," Jinora smiled, "and he almost lost his best friend in the unknown territory."

"I'm sorry if he caused you trouble," the thirteen year old apologized, "hey, are you guys coming with us to dinner tonight?"

"Your brother was no trouble at all, and we'd love to."

_Speak for yourself_, Kai thought while turning his head slightly away as if distracted by something else.

"Great! We'll see you tonight at six," Kasumi cheered before taking Yoshio back to her family's room.

"So did you find your dad?" Kai asked once Kasumi was gone from their view.

"Yeah," she confirmed, "he went out to the auto shop for the replacement part for the truck's engine. He should be back in time for us to go to Jong's. In the meantime I'm going to get a hot shower to counteract the cold rainwater."

"Anything you want me t'do specifically?"

"Anything you can to get ready for tonight," she answered as they started on their way back.

It wasn't long before Tenzin returned. The rain had stopped by the time all three walked out the front doors of the inn. After walking three blocks they came to a small restaurant fit between a gas station and a small antique shop. When they entered a bell at the top of the door rang to announce their arrival. The place was heavily decorated with antique paintings and was all but deserted. There to meet them was a young man who appeared to be in his early to mid thirties. He wore a green cap and a black apron with a name tag that identified him as the restaurant manager.

"Tenzin! Jinora!," the dark-skinned, blue-eyed man greeted with a wide grin, "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!"

"Hello Akio," Tenzin returned the greeting, "we're here to meet with some friends."

"Ah yes! They're in the back, you guys go ahead and I'll be right there to get your drinks alright?"

"Thank you."

While Akio went to meet with another customer, the three went through an open doorway to a large backroom with a table wide enough to fit them all. Warm welcomes rose up as the Yamamotos were sure to make room at the table for their new friends. Tenzin was at the end of the table with Jinora to his left. Kai was seated right between Jinora and the pint-sized ninja, Yoshio. Once again Aimi and Lee conversed deeply with Tenzin about a number of subjects. Jinora spoke to Kasumi in regards to school and friends. Hitomi and Hotaru argued over what they wanted to happen on a TV show they both watched while they colored on kids' menus. Picking up his own menu, Kai noticed something odd.

"There aren't any prices on the menu," he pointed out, "how do we know what anything on here costs?"

"That's one of the things that's awesome about this place," Hitomi answered, "it's totally conscience based. You only pay as much as you think is fair. You can even get food for free."

"Sounds like a good way to go out of business."

"In a larger city maybe," Jinora added, "but we've been coming here since I was a kid and they've been going strong for years. Besides, the service is so good and the food is so great that no one can walk out of here and not feel guilty if they don't pay something."

"And they never run into trouble?"

"Of course they do, but everyone knows the owners and when that happens the whole town pitches in to keep them running. They feed us when we can scarcely afford a can of beans and we return the favor. That's what a community is for," she shrugged.

Before Kai could answer Akio came over to ask them for their drink of choice. After he finished taking their beverage orders his eyes fell on the scruffy haired young man.

"I don't believe we've been formally introduced," Akio grinned and tucked the notepad into his front apron pocket so he could free his hand for Kai to shake, "name's Akio, my parents own this fine establishment and you are?"

"Kai," he replied as he shook Akio's offered hand, "I'm from out of town."

"Really," Akio gave a small nod of interest, "how long are you planning on staying?"

"We go back to Republic City this fall," Jinora answered when Kai failed to respond.

"We?" Akio glanced back and fourth between Jinora and Kai. He caught sight of the ring on Kai's finger and a he grinned with a twinkle of humor in his eyes, "So you tied the knot in the big city eh, Jin? And you didn't invite me? I thought we were friends."

"Don't feel too bad, she didn't invite her parents either," Kai threw in with a teasing smirk. At this Akio laughed loudly and gave Tenzin a playful slap on the shoulder.

"Hope we all get better manners from the next three, huh?"

"Akio," Jinora addressed with a groan. Holding up his hands in defense, Akio began backing away.

"Okay, okay I'll go get your drinks. Be right back."

Once he was gone the Yamamotos quickly jumped to engage Kai and Jinora in a series of curious questions regarding their recent wedding. Jinora's answers about how they had met and the setting of their engagement remained vague though they seemed satisfactory enough for the bunch. Assuming that Tenzin was already at least partly aware, Kai wondered how they'd respond if they knew it had taken place in jail or how he had only agreed to it on the basis that it would get him out of that crummy cell. Perhaps if they knew the whole truth they would leave it alone entirely. It could have been that Jinora was leaving those parts out for the sake of reputation which was reason enough for him to not say anything. If she wanted to waste her energy putting up a good image when the truth was there wasn't much good about it, then that was up to her. Akio returned with their drinks and took their meal requests and menus. As Kai reached for the glass of lemonade he had ordered and took a sip he noticed that Yoshio seemed to mimic his movements with a sippy-cup in his own little hands. Resting his chin on his palm, he observed that Yoshio did the same. Kai ran a hand through his hair and of course Yoshio did the same.

"Is he mocking me?"

Aimi looked up from the mixed drink in her hand and laughed, "he's trying to be like you."

"So it's a compliment?"

"Mimicry is t-the sincerest form of fla-flattery, right Daddy?" Hotaru stuttered.

"That's right," Lee answered her.

"Mimicry is t-the sincerest form of fla-flattery, right Daddy," Hitomi playfully mocked.

"Cut it out!" Hotaru frowned.

"Cut it out!" Hitomi echoed

"I mean it, stop!"

"I mean it, stop!"

"Mommy, make her stop!"

"Mommy, make her stop!"

"Girls that's enough!" their mother reprimanded, "if this keeps going then neither or you get any dessert, understood?"

While both girls lowered their heads and grumbled, Kai awkwardly looked to Jinora as if to ask if she and her siblings had ever been the same way. She gave a guilty smile as she recalled mocking Ikki the very same way in the past and vice versa. After everyone had their dinner the two groups paid for their meals and walked back to the inn together. They planned to meet in the park in the morning before going on their way to their respective homes then they parted ways in the lobby. After each had their turn readying for bed Tenzin took the bed nearest to the window while Jinora and Kai took the one closer to the door. In a matter of minutes the room was completely dark with only the occasional flash of lighting from outside illuminating the room followed quickly by a loud, low rumble. Between the thunder and Tenzin's snoring, Kai almost felt at home with the volume level though it was much more irritating than he had expected. A whistle from outside grabbed his attention and he lifted his head from the pillow. It was the train.

Looking down at Jinora, who laid with her back to him, then over to Tenzin who laid facing the ceiling with his hands folded over his abdomen, Kai was tempted to take the golden opportunity to sneak out and make his escape back to the city. Yet something tugged inside him at the thought of morning coming and knowing that they'd find him gone.

**What does it matter to you? By the time they wake up you could have your money back and be halfway to the Fire Nation. You're not meant to live this kind of life and you know it. Why not just leave and get it over with? Do you actually think they'll miss you? **Yet as Kai looked down at the shadowed image of Jinora sleeping peacefully beside him, he was sharply reminded of the guilt and shame he had experienced when he had realized that he had caused her pain. The whistle of the train sounded again, beckoning him to forget his guilt and run as far away as possible. _She said we go back to the city in the fall_, he thought, _maybe by then she'll be tired of me. It won't hurt her so much. I can wait, then I'll leave and I won't look back. _Forcing himself to lay his head back down, Kai tried to block out the sounds of the train that were growing more and more distant.

* * *

Morning came quickly and as planned Jinora, Tenzin and Kai met the Yamamotos in the park. While Kasumi, Hitomi and Hotaru played on the jungle gym the Jinora and Aimi chatted at a picnic table out on the grass. Kai stood with Lee and Tenzin nearby and was trying to ignore Yoshio as he played with his toy in the grass at their feet. Kai stayed silent for the most part, unable to help the grudging feeling like the two older men were almost purposefully leaving him out of the conversation. In the midst of their talk, the conversation took a turn toward the kids as they played then Lee looked in Kai's direction.

"So Tenzin, are you hoping for grandkids from these two?" Lee asked with a lighthearted grin. Kai looked away as though pretending that he hadn't heard the question. Tenzin himself hesitated to answer. While grandchildren were certainly on a wishlist of his as it would be for most men his age, the idea of Kai being largely responsible for the lives of said children was a thought that unsettled him. The young man seemed like he could be gentle enough, but the level of open concern Kai displayed toward others left much to be desired. Tenzin was almost sure that if Kai and Jinora were to bring forward a son or daughter, the care for them would land solely in Jinora's hands. However, he could almost hear Pema admonishing him for making such assumptions. But whether or not Kai was willing to be an attentive parent, there was still the matter of if he would or wouldn't be a good role model and given his track record it wouldn't be beyond reason to say he wouldn't be the best.

"Well..." he cleared his throat, "I can have my own ideas but in the end it's up to them..."

"What about it, Kai?" Lee asked, "Any plans?"

"Not in the near future," he brushed off while trying not to sound like he was completely dismissing the idea though he already had.

"I get it," Lee nodded, "you should enjoy the freedom you have while you still got it 'cause once the ball gets rollin' it's goin' for another two decades, but be careful not to wait_ too_ long. The years go by fast and they only go faster as you get older. If you wait 'til you're forty to have kids then those eighteen years go by in the blink of an eye."

"Truer words have never been spoken," Tenzin sighed, momentarily forgetting that the statement was directed at Kai.

"Noted," Kai replied absently.

"MOMMY!" Hitomi's voice cried out, "DADDY! HELP!"

The three men and two women looked up in surprise to see the small girl come running to them with a look of panic in her eyes.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Lee asked as he knelt to eye level with her.

"Hotaru is stuck up in a tree! She's really high up! Come on! Hurry!" She tugged at his sleeve to get him to come. Quickly picking up Yoshio in her arms, Aimi followed them along with Kasumi, Jinora, Kai and Tenzin. They came to the base of a massive oak tree. Surely enough, up on a high branch and clinging to the trunk was the small girl who appeared to be on the brink of tears.

"Hotaru!" Aimi cried.

"How did she get up there?!" Kasumi asked in shock, having never seen her little sister in such a high place before.

"I kinda dared her to climb to the top and she tried..." Hitomi confessed, "she did really good until she looked down."

"I'm going to call the fire station, maybe they can send someone with a ladder or truck," Lee said while taking out his cell phone from his pocket.

"Why doesn't someone just climb up and get her?" Kai asked.

"None of us can climb that," Jinora told him as she ran a hand through her hair in distress, "she has to be at least forty feet up!"

Kai glanced between everyone there and could see that indeed none of them appeared to even be considering an attempt to climb. Looking up he weighed the distance between Hotaru and the ground. The nearest branch was a foot over his head and how she had managed to reach it was beyond his understanding. He suspected that she had received a boost from her sister. It looked like the best time to put his Dai Li military training to good use.

"Hang on," he said as he stepped forward, "lemme try."

The others watched without protest as he took a hold of the branch over his head. Running his feet up along the trunk, he swung himself up onto the branch. They watched with bated breath as he scaled upward at an impressive speed.

"Kai, be careful!" Jinora warned. He didn't seem to be listening as he took hold of the next branch and continued upward. In a matter of seconds he was half way to Hotaru. Aimi cupped her hands over her mouth to keep herself from crying out when a branch under Kai's foot gave way. Fortunately he had managed to grab hold of a branch over his head and inched over to a firmer part of the bough he had been standing on. Eventually he came just below where Hotaru was and held a hand out to her.

"You're gonna be okay, come on, I'll take you down." But Hotaru held tight to the trunk and shook her head aggressively.

"No!" she wept, "I-I'm too scared! I'm gonna-gonna fall!"

"No, you're not," he assured, "You're not gonna fall. Just let your feet down first and I'll carry you down."

"How-how do I know you w-won't drop me," she hiccuped.

"I've never dropped a thing in my life," he lied to ease the young one, "you're perfectly safe with me. Trust me."

"Promise?" she whimpered.

"Cross my heart," he swore while making the motion over his chest.

Biting her lips between her teeth, Hotaru gave a reluctant nod and began to lower her feet over the side of the branch. She made several attempts and shied back repeatedly before finally coming low enough for Kai to support her. Moving under her, Kai took hold of her waist and she slowly let go of the trunk she held to. Sitting on the bough beside her, Kai instructed her to get on his back and hold on. Trembling, Hotaru did as he told her. Wrapping her thin, trembling arms tightly around his neck and her legs around his waist, she held tight and closed her eyes and hard as she could. Once he was sure that she had a firm hold, Kai told her not to let go until they had reached the ground at which she nodded vigorously. Kai began to descend down the tree at a slower rate than he had climbed so not to scare her. The closer they came to the ground, the more her rapid breathing began to steady. Below he could hear Kasumi and Hitomi cheering with delight. When they finally came to the ground Aimi rushed forward and quickly swept Hotaru from his back and held her tightly with tears of relief sliding down her cheeks.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she breathed while she and Lee held their daughter.

"If there's anything we can do to repay you..." Lee began.

"I don't need any hero treatment," Kai interrupted, though the idea of payment did appeal to him, "but you might want to get a leash for her."

"How did you learn to climb like that?" Kasumi asked in amazement.

"Practice," he shrugged while looking down uncomfortably.

"Hotaru what do you say to the nice man?" Aimi asked.

"Thank you, Mister Kai," Hotaru peeped out with a feeble smile. As the family recollected, Kai could feel Jinora squeeze his hand. The pride that glowed in her eyes was almost painful to look at. Though part of him enjoyed the praise, another part just wished for it to be over with. As if summoned by his thoughts, a honk sounded from the nearby parking lot.

"That's Daw," Tenzin announced.

"Already? I guess we better get going then..." Jinora turned to them, "you all better come and visit us sometime soon okay? You have our number and e-mail?"

"We do! Thanks again!" Aimi beamed.

Kai felt a small tug at his pant leg and looked down to see Yoshio holding out his toy komodo-rhino.

"I can't play with your rhino kid, we're leaving now."

"Tak i'," he said while holding the toy up as high as he could, "i' fo' yu!"

"What?"

"He wants you to take it," Lee laughed.

Kai took the toy from Yoshio's hand and watched as the small boy stepped back with a wide grin.

"Kai, what do you say?" Jinora nudged him with her elbow and his mouth hung open in his inability to speak.

"Uh... thanks?" There was another honk.

"Come on," Tenzin reminded them, "we don't want to keep Daw waiting."

Looking at Yoshio, Kai saw the little boy wave goodbye, showing that he had no intention of taking the toy back. Did he understand that if Kai left with it he wouldn't be seeing it again? The three waved to the Yamamotos as they left and climbed into the cab. Tenzin took the passenger seat while Jinora and Kai sat in the back. As they did it was clear that Daw was still suffering from the lingering effects of his illness.

"You dree had a good drip into town?" he sniffed, his nose still stuffy.

"An exciting one to say the least," Tenzin confirmed then looked over his shoulder at Kai who sat diagonally from him, "Kai, that was a good thing you did today. We're proud of you." Kai could feel his face growing hot and bowed his head while rubbing the back of it awkwardly with his hand. He couldn't remember the last time someone had claimed to be proud of him... for something that was any good at least.

"It was no big deal... really."

"You guys dell me all about dis on da way back," Daw told them as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Looking back out the window, Jinora could see the Yamamotos waving goodbye and she waved back. Once they had been driving a while Jinora looked to Kai then down then back again. Clearing her throat she tried to appear casual.

"I'm curious, what did you say to her to get her to come down?"

"I just told her she wasn't gonna fall and t'trust me."

"I thought you said trust isn't smart," she pointed out.

"It's not," he looked at her, "I could've dropped her."

Jinora paused as she looked at him, unsure of how to respond. It was then that she noticed a faint smile beginning to creep across his lips, and she realized that he was joking. Punching him lightly across the shoulder she grinned and tried not to laugh. She stopped again when she noticed how Kai was eyeing the toy komodo-rhino that Yoshio had given him and turning it over in his hands. She wasn't sure how she would get Kai to listen to her when they returned, but hopefully he saw this action as redeeming enough to not dive right back into endless hours of work and perhaps speaking to him on the matter wouldn't be as difficult. Leaning closer, she whispered to him.

"They're going to come visit us this Summer. We invited them to come pick fruit from the trees in the orchard and to ride the bison. I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun."

"If they even show up."

"You don't think they will?"

"People get busy with their own lives. I wouldn't bet your bison on them coming."

"Sometimes you just have to give people the benefit of the doubt," she smiled warmly and took his hand again while resting her head on his shoulder, "They aren't going to forget about you, Kai."

Kai humored her with a 'maybe' though his doubts remained.

**Of course they will forget. Everyone does eventually.**

* * *

(A/N): Sorry it took me so long to write but now that my graduation is over with I will hopefully have more time to get this thing written. Let me know if there's anything I can improve on stylistically and let me know what you think of the story as a whole, I love hearing from you guys! Thank you so much for your patience. I don't believe the next chapter will take nearly as long. The Equalist Revolution is mentioned in this chapter despite the fact that there are no benders in this AU, I'm thinking that some other battle for equality could be going on that parallels the canon version but because it doesn't have much to do with this plot I don't plan on going into detail about it. Again, thank you for your support. Keep reading and keep reviewing. :)


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